Sugar Free
by conspiredfate
Summary: After Tiedoll's funeral, Kanda expects his life to go on normally. And then he meets Allen Walker. AU, Yullen.
1. The Trouble with Funerals

Authors Note: AU Yullen! If you're not into that kind of thing and don't like shounen-ai, turn back now. I have warned you! This particular chapter however is merely an intro and contains nothing of the sort, but mark my words, there will be boy love! This story is AU in the sense that I've taken all our beloved D.Gray-man characters and shifted them into a world sort of like our present-day one. Other than that, I hope to keep OOC to a minimum, so please tell me if you spot something off!

This plot bunny came into existence after watching a video on Arlington in history class, so I will try to keep the minor 'historic' details in this somewhat accurate. Emm... let's see...oh yeah! REVIEW. Reviews make authors happy and happy authors find inspiration sooner than unhappy ones.

Last but not least...

Disclaimer: Let's keep it short and simple. I don't own anything except the (attempt at a) plot.

Without further ado, I proudly present...

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**SUGAR-FREE**

01 -- _the trouble with funerals_

* * *

The funeral was a more lavish affair than he thought necessary for the old geezer; half the people who were there apparently shocked and grief stricken about his death he never once recalled seeing, and he was the guys adopted son (as much as he hated to admit it). He'd been with the old army general since he was old enough to threaten the man for calling him by his first name, and most of these people were strangers or vague acquaintances. Tch. They were probably only here for the free food. He brushed past a couple of weeping women and sniffling old men and sneered as he took his seat in the very front of the gathering.

No, Kanda Yuu did _not _approve of the funeral arranged for his foster father.

Marie, his 'foster-brother' had taken over the planning after he discovered Kanda was content to have the body cremated in their own backyard.

"That's no way to treat a general's funeral, Kanda!" he had said, shaking his head, "He's going to get a proper army service from the Black Order division."

"He's dead now, it's not like it matters," Kanda had retorted, "I don't see the point in wasting time planning out something as stupid as a funeral."

Marie gave up on convincing Kanda of the significance of a proper funeral after more than one lost argument.

"Just promise you'll come, okay?"

"Tch. Whatever."

And so here Kanda sat, to placate Marie more than anything. He didn't care about the huge procession or the musicians or any of that shit.

_That's not what the old geezer was about. _

The day Tiedoll had died, Kanda was not surprised or heartbroken or pained. The general had been in poor health for a while, so the death had been expected (he was probably better off now; sitting in heaven gave him a better view of the world he so loved to paint). Kanda had accepted the news, gone to his room for a while and then came out perfectly composed.

_Tch…that guy wouldn't have wanted all this sniveling._

God knew there were more than enough tears at this stupid event to make up for Kanda's lacking and more. A nearby teary sneeze brought Kanda back to the present, and set off a vein pulsing in his forehead. Why was he here again?

The angry nineteen year old crossed his arms and gritted his teeth, pointedly looking away from the crowd of mourning people. He seethed quietly, setting his trademark Glare on anyone who dared approach to query about his emotional health.

Thankfully, Marie was a better host, and people flocked to him as he consoled and explained and did whatever else it was families did at funerals.

Kanda rested his neck on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. Everything was serene for a few moments as he drowned out the disgusting noises. Thank god the general had taught him to meditate.

_Stupid old man. You better be appreciating this._

Yes, for a while, everything was better than 'horrible', and Kanda was _almost_, somewhat, maybe just a little, soothed.

The chair beside him squeaked as someone took a seat, and Kanda twitched and cracked open an eye to glare at the person who had deemed themselves brave enough to come near him.

He didn't recognize the boy as being one of the guests; he would have definitely remembered this face.

The boy had shocking white-blonde hair, but it was so silvery in hue that if not for his soft, young features he would have looked like an old man. He had large gray eyes that displayed a mixture of pity and uneasiness, and even though it was the middle of summer, he wore a long white collared shirt and white gloves. The only thing marring his pretty face was a pale pink scar that ran down his left eye and cheek.

"Who the hell are you?"

To his credit the boy didn't blink at Kanda's rudeness, instead he smiled and replied:

"Hello Kanda-san, I'm Allen Walker, from the-" here the boy twitched visibly, "Black Order Division of the Officers Wives Club," he turned an interesting shade of red and the smile pasted on his face threatened to slip off.

Kanda blinked. Then smirked.

"…you're a girl?" The smirk widened ever so slightly as Allen started spazzing.

"N-No!" the supposed boy flailed his arms wildly, "No, ah, it's a long story. I'm filling in for a friend," he explained, darkening a shade or two.

"Whatever. Why the hell are you here? If it's about the funeral go talk to that bald guy over there-"

"Ah, actually, Kanda-san, Marie-san wanted me to talk to you."

"About_ what_? He planned all of this. I don't know anything," Kanda hissed, annoyed at this interruption that was taking far too long for his liking. Allen sighed.

"I guess you don't know what the Officers Wives Club is, do you?" at Kanda's glare he continued, "It's also been called the Order Ladies. It's a group formed by the women who have lost friends or family in the war… kind of like a support group. They – we – come to funerals and help console the family."

Kanda's eyes narrowed. "Does it _look _like I need consoling?" he said through clenched teeth. _What the hell was Marie thinking?!_

"No," Allen admitted, "but Marie said that he was a bit worried about you anyway. So, I'm here to talk. How're you feeling?"

"Fantastic. How would you feel if you were dragged to an over elaborate funeral for your dead teacher?" he drawled, staring at the hole where the coffin would be placed shortly.

"Point taken. Wait, teacher? Wasn't he your…father?" Allen asked, looking from the note card in his hand to Kanda.

"Tch. Something like that. What does it matter now?"

"It matters, Kanda-san! Talking about how you feel helps get over things like this-"

"I'm already damn well over it!" Kanda yelled, a little louder than intended, "I don't _need _your fucking pity or emotional support! The old geezer died; so what?"

Allen didn't say anything after that. Kanda could feel the stares of a few people in the back of his skull, but he fixated his glare on Allen.

_Go away. Go away. Go away._

The boy had a strange look on his face, one that Kanda decided he didn't like. Those gray eyes looked like they could see straight through him and read him like an open book. They flickered with understanding for a moment, before Allen reached over and placed a card in Kanda's hand.

"When you're ready," was all Allen said before leaving.

Kanda glared at the boy's back until he was out of sight, and then glared at the card in his hand.

– _Officers Wives Club – _

_Black Order Division_

'_The Order Ladies'_

There was a name that had been scratched out, and a messy _Allen Walker _written above it, along with a phone number written in the same scrawl.

"Tch."

Later, Kanda would wonder why he didn't throw the stupid card out then and there, but there was something about Allen Walker…

…something decidedly…

…_annoying_ about him that made Kanda crumple the card up and shove it in his pocket.


	2. Something's Off

Authors Note: And Kanda meets Allen. Again.

I'm rather fond of this chapter, and I'd love to see what you think, so drop a review!

Thanks to Nusku, Sleeping Moon, Celestial Moonshine, Pysiol, uniFsky, Chronologic, measama, Wolfie559933, dead or alive0013, zenbon zakura, and Xiao Yue Er for reviewing!

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**SUGAR-FREE**

02 -- _something's off_

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In the days following the service, Kanda received more mail than he had ever received in his life. Each day the mail man would give him an apologetic look as he dumped armful after armful of flowery printed consolation letters in Kanda's unwilling hands.

He burned every last one.

The influx of mail wasn't the only difference. It was particularly annoying, Kanda discovered, when he woke up in the morning to no coffee in the pot. He had to either force Marie up to get a decent cup, or resort to making it himself. The first few times he tried his hand at working the machine resulted in failure, and the stench of burnt coffee beans didn't leave for a week. Waking Marie up was easily the better option. And even then, when Marie grudgingly fixed him a cup of steaming hot coffee, something was _off._ When he bugged Marie about changing the damn filters or something, he was given a stupid gloomy little look.

"It's not the filters, Kanda," Marie explained with a sigh, "Shishou had a certain way of doing it. It's his touch that's missing."

"…just change the damn filters, Marie."

- - -

What was worse than the lack of decent coffee was the smell.

The old geezer was always painting or drawing, so the house used to smell of paint and charcoal. It wasn't an entirely bad smell (it probably wasn't healthy), but Kanda had gotten used to it, to the point where he associated the smell with 'home'.

Without the artist around, the house started to smell more like two nineteen year olds who didn't take care of themselves as well as they should have. It wasn't that the two were messy; Kanda himself was a neat-freak and Marie made sure to keep his clutter to the confines of his room. The rest of the house was untouched, after all, the general had been the only one to actually _use_ the extra space. Kanda was always locked in his room, and Marie rarely went further than the living room.

It was just that something had changed, without the older presence. The place smelled empty, if empty even had a smell. Kanda began to stop associating 'home' with the house because it didn't _smell like home_ anymore. It was just a house now, a house where two teenagers could stay until they finally figured out what to do.

- - -

Kanda was pretty self-sufficient around the house. He did his own laundry (especially after the incident where Tiedoll had 'accidentally' dyed his favorite sweater pink), cleaned his room and the connecting bathroom, put in his share of money to buy groceries every week. He didn't ask for much, really- just a good plate of soba for lunch and dinner and sometimes breakfast.

Over the years both Tiedoll and Marie had learned to make the boy's favorite dish, out of necessity more than anything. Unfortunately, Marie hadn't been in the mood for cooking after the general's death. Kanda was gracious enough to let it slide for the first week, living off frozen dinners and Chinese takeout. It was on the eighth night of shitty vegetable lo mein that he put his foot down.

"Marie, would you stop avoiding the kitchen? Why are you being so emotional about this?"

"Why are you _not_, Kanda?" Marie countered, "How can you be so blasé about all of this?! Our father just _died_, Kanda. Doesn't that make you feel _something_?"

The word 'father' rang shrilly in Kanda's heart, and his expression soured.

"I know how to control myself," he spat, avoiding Marie's gaze.

"That's what you think, Kanda, but you're just hurting yourself more. Shishou always said-"

"I don't care about what that old geezer used to say! He's gone. All I want is a dinner that isn't fucking Chinese food. If I'd known you'd start trying to analyze me like some psychiatric patient I wouldn't have asked," Kanda hissed, standing up in a huff and storming upstairs.

He slammed his door shut in an act of childishness he wouldn't have normally displayed, and threw himself on his bed.

_Stupid Marie. What the hell does he know? He's acting like a stupid girl. Forgive ME for using common sense. The geezer's dead but that doesn't mean we all are. Tch._

"Kanda," Marie's voice was muffled from the other side of the door, "I apologize for yelling, but I did mean it. I think you're hurting, you just can't admit it to yourself. You don't have to be strong all the time. That's what Shishou was always trying to tell you. You don't have to bear everything on your own. You have a family, Kanda."

Kanda was tempted to throw something at the door.

"…maybe you should call that Walker kid?" Marie's soft voice suggested, and Kanda's hand twitched as it reached for the nearby alarm clock.

"Kanda…?"

The alarm clock fractured into a thousand pieces of wire and glass against the door and Marie sighed.

"Just… think about it, okay?"

- - -

On the one-month anniversary of Tiedoll's death, Kanda decided to visit the grave.

He didn't tell Marie, but the other man seemed to know of his plans, and was all smiles and encouragement.

"Shut _up _Marie. You don't even know where the fuck I'm going," Kanda grumbled as Marie placed his breakfast (soba – thank god Marie had gotten over his mourning-by-not-cooking-stage) before him.

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, Kanda, could you leave this card at the grave for me?"

"What the _hell_?! I just told you-"

"It just came in the mail from one of the other generals… Shishou's close friend."

Kanda didn't say anything in response until he had finished his breakfast, but when he looked up Marie was patiently waiting for an answer. Kanda sighed angrily.

"…tch. Whatever. _If _I'm in the area I'll _see about it_."

"Thanks, Kanda," Marie grinned.

_Tch._

- - -

Kanda didn't bring flowers to Tiedoll's grave, nor did he write a letter, or light a candle or anything like that. He placed the card Marie had asked him to deliver on the brilliant white stone and stared at the glittering piece of marble as he collected his thoughts.

"Oi," he muttered at the ground, and then to the sky as he tilted his head back as far as it would go, narrowing his eyes at the sunlight. "You better be watching this, old man."

He folded himself gracefully before the grave, raising his palms together and closing his eyes. Kanda didn't say anything else, nothing sentimental or poetic. A few minutes passed and Kanda felt something weird twist in his chest when he looked at the stone again, and thus decided he'd spent far too long here already.

He stood and dusted himself off, and was about to leave when a somewhat familiar voice rang behind him.

"Kanda-san?"

And there was the white-haired little Order 'Lady' himself, carrying a potted daffodil in one hand and gardening tools in the other.

"Kanda-san, I'm so glad you came!"

Kanda twitched as the other boy approached, still beaming up at him.

"Why are you here," he asked, glaring down at Allen, "beansprout?"

Allen's smile shifted to a confused frown.

"Beansprout…? My name's Allen, Kanda-san. You could have just asked if you had forgotten… inventing strange nicknames for people isn't nice, you know."

"Like I care. Why are you here?" Kanda demanded again, "And what's with the potted weed?"

"This is a _daffodil_, Kanda-san, not a weed! I was going to plant it in front of General Tiedoll's grave."

"Who gave you permission to do that?"

Allen faltered for a moment, and sighed.

"I didn't think I needed permission to do something nice. Especially when _you_ haven't come to visit the grave in a month… I thought it needed some attention."

"How the hell do you know that? And what does it matter to you, stupid old man?"

"I'm not old! I'm just seventeen, you retard!" Allen shot back before he could control himself. Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"So is being rude part of being an Order Lady, beansprout? Because I thought you were supposed to console the family, not insult them."

Allen flushed a delicate shade of pink and stared at the grass.

"My apologies," he muttered out with some difficulty, "It's just that I come here every day, and I never saw you at the grave…and the security guards said no one from your family had come either. I just felt like I had to do something."

"…tch. Stalker."

"I am not a stalker! You--!" This time Allen caught himself and breathed in deeply. "Fine. I'll ask your _permission _now. May I plant this daffodil in front of your father's grave?"

"He wasn't my father," Kanda grumbled, but stopped glaring directly at Allen. "Tch. Do whatever you want."

"Will you help me?" Allen asked quickly, as Kanda made to move aside.

"…what, you can't even plant a flower by yourself, beansprout?" he taunted.

"It's not that I can't… it's just that I'm sure the General would love it much more if you helped out too." Allen replied softly.

_Stupid beansprout. What does he know?_

"I can tell he loved you very much, Kanda-san."

_How could he tell something like that, anyway?_

"Please?"

_Stupid --_

"…fine. I'm sorry I asked." Allen's hopeful gray eyes clouded with disappointment and he turned away.

_-- beansprout._

"Ugh, you better have gloves, beansprout, because I do not want cemetery dirt all over my hands."

- - -

Allen had been all smiles and politeness after Kanda agreed to help plant the stupid daffodil; even with Kanda's curt responses, he kept a conversation going the entire time.

"Were you planning on coming to the Officers Wives Club today, Kanda-san?" Allen asked, gently shaking the roots of the flower out of the pot. Once the plant was freed, he offered it to Kanda.

"No. I told you, I don't _need_ your little psychiatric service. I was just _in the area_ and Marie wanted me to drop off a card at the grave," Kanda snapped, grabbing the daffodil with more force than necessary. Allen flailed a bit when the stem threatened to break as Kanda roughly dropped it into the hole they had dug for it.

"But weren't you praying or something when I came?"

"Shut up! I was just leaving the card. Jesus, you really are a stalker."

"You're mean, Kanda-san." Allen pouted as the two of them began patting the dirt back around the flower. Their gloved hands brushed, Allen murmured an apology and Kanda's eyes narrowed infinitesimally.

"You're an idiot."

- - -

Despite Kanda's protests, Allen insisted on walking him back to the parking lot after they finished up with the daffodil.

"I'm not an old woman who needs help crossing the damn street," Kanda hissed.

"I know. But I'll walk you all the same," Allen replied with that infuriating grin of his.

Thankfully, Allen didn't strike up much conversation on the walk back; he settled for humming a tune that was almost as annoying as his perpetual smile.

"Hey," Allen began when they reached the parking lot and Kanda started to leave, "do you still have my card?"

Saying 'yes' would be a blow to his pride, Kanda reasoned, and saying 'no' would either make the beansprout give Kanda another card or get that pathetic look on his face. So Kanda compromised.

"I gave it to Marie," he grumbled, "like hell _I_ would keep it," he added for good measure.

Allen sighed and shook his head.

"Well, just in case Marie-san lost it, let me--"

"I don't need it!" Kanda half-shouted as he turned on his heel and stalked away.

- - -

At night, Kanda found the crumpled up card in his drawer, and glared at it as if he hoped it would spontaneously combust and save him the trouble of holding on to it. In the end, he chucked it in the trash can and vowed never to think of that stupid old-man beansprout ever again.

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A/N: Ha-ha, Kanda, like _that's _going to work. :P Fear not, Allen will make another intrusion into Kanda-chan's life next chapter...stay tuned...


	3. Like I'd Ever

Authors Note: I have to say, so far, this is my favorite chapter.

Thanks to Nusku, uniFsky, Devils Melody, nanachan87, Pysiol, Wolfie559933, iruka92, Sleeping Moon, KHtrinity, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Valitiel, dead or alive0013, Sorceress Fantasia, Novelist Pup, kawaiichibi2345, YugiKitten, AyaKuro, Lala-tan, measama, love is but an element, SakuraDreams and blood lust 43110 for reviewing!

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**SUGAR-FREE**

03 -- _like I'd ever_

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Two weeks after the gardening incident, Kanda liked to think he was doing quite well on his goal to Never Think of That Beansprout Ever Again. Of course, he didn't actively _think _about his goal, because that would mean he was actually thinking about the stupid beansprout and that was out of the question--

_Anyway_, the point is, Kanda was getting along just fine.

"Kanda… you haven't emptied the trash can in your room for two weeks." Marie pointed out one morning at breakfast.

"There's no trash in there," Kanda replied curtly, sipping his orange juice.

"…if you say so…but I thought—"

"Fine!" Kanda slammed the glass down, "I'll empty the damn thing!"

So saying, Kanda chugged the rest of the juice in one gulp and stormed upstairs, leaving a bewildered Marie at the table.

"…I was just asking…"

Ten minutes later, a trash bag was shoved in Marie's face.

"_Happy_ now, Marie?" the other teenager grumbled as Marie took the bag sheepishly.

"I didn't mean you had to go get it right now, Kanda," he said, scratching his head as to why this set Kanda off so badly, "but thanks, I guess?"

"Tch," Kanda almost pouted as he glared at the wall.

Marie grabbed the other trash bag from the kitchen and went to put them outside in the bin in front of their house. When he came back, Kanda was still in a foul mood, arms crossed as he willed the carpet to disintegrate.

"Ah, Kanda, there's actually one more thing," Marie began, "could you get the groceries for this week? I'm going to visit Shishou's grave. Unless you'd like to come…?" Hopefully either way Kanda would get out of the house and his annoyance would blow over. Sure, after years of living with Kanda Marie was used to his moods, but he was considerably easier to live with when he was Apathetic rather than Pissed Off.

Kanda didn't hesitate in answering.

"Where's the list?"

- - -

Kanda's mood did not improve when he left the house as Marie hoped; no, his irritation soared to new levels when he discovered that the usual grocery store they shopped at had closed down because of some electrical issues. He clenched his fist tight enough to leave nail marks in his palm and cursed at the stupid '_closed for an indefinite period of time, sorry for the inconvenience' _sign until other people arrived and gave him strange looks.

"Inconvenience...more like fucking annoying as hell…" Kanda grumbled, ignoring the gasp from a passing mother who immediately clapped her hands over her child's ear, shooting Kanda a dirty glare.

He slammed the car door as he got in, only to have his coat get in the way. He roughly pulled it in, almost causing a tear, and squashed on the gas pedal as he zoomed out of the parking lot, nearly running over an elderly couple on the way.

The next grocery store was about fifteen minutes away, and worse, it was unbelievably crowded. It seemed everyone from their old grocery store had flocked here instead. Kanda's mood dropped to the level of Death Valley, California.

The only good thing was that the aura he exuded managed to get him some much desired personal space inside.

After a good fifteen minutes of running around the store and shoving people aside, Kanda was down to the last item on the list: meat.

From a young age, Kanda always hated the look of uncooked meat. When Tiedoll would send him and Marie out shopping together, Marie would ogle at all the different packages of meat, exclaiming about the recipes and flavors and other nonsense. Kanda averted his eyes and hurried past.

It was something about the color, he had decided. Something about the drained red coloration that made him feel uncomfortable; _how strange for you to say that, Kanda, _Marie used to tease, _you'd think being a soldier you'd be used to blood._

(Truth be told it reminded him of _that--_)

Well, Kanda didn't avert his eyes anymore, but he liked it no less: meat was still disgusting to look at uncooked, and Kanda wanted to get this business over and done with as soon as possible.

He raked the refrigerated shelves for the particular brand of beef Marie wanted and reached a hand out to grab it… though instead of a cool plastic covering, he found a gloved hand.

"Kanda-san, is that you?"

Kanda groaned.

"Beansprout, huh?" he grimaced as he looked at the owner of the hand; indeed, it was Allen Walker himself, still sporting a stupid smile and too-white hair.

"It's _Allen_, Kanda-san. You know, you should eat more blueberries, they improve memory--"

"That's nice beansprout, now _if you don't mind_," Kanda snatched the package of meat from under Allen's hand and shoved it in his basket. He was already walking away when Allen caught up.

"Hey, hey, wait!" Allen called, falling into step beside Kanda. He looked hesitant under Kanda's glare, but eventually broke the awkward silence, "So, how have you been?"

"Just fine until today," Kanda snapped in reply.

"Oh, did something happen?"

Kanda _really _wanted to kill this kid.

"You know what?" Allen began, and when Kanda saw him waiting expectantly for a response, Kanda sighed heavily.

"_What_?"

"Whenever I'm having a bad day, I find good food always makes it better. There's a great little café next door--"

"Really? You know, I find going away from the source of irritation works too," Kanda said with obviously fake enthusiasm, "So if you'll excuse me…" he stopped when Allen grabbed his elbow and turned the force of his glare down on the shorter boy. "Why are you so damn _persistent_? I'm not going to come to your little psycho ward if that's what you're trying to get me to do--"

"It's not! I really don't want to force you into anything," Allen looked at the floor and then back up at Kanda, "I'd just like to talk. If you're having a rough day talking to a friend helps too."

"Since when were we _friends_?" Kanda bit out, and it didn't escape his notice that Allen had yet to let go of his arm.

"Well, I'm trying, Kanda-san!"

"I never asked you to!"

Allen gave an exasperated sigh and dropped Kanda's elbow. He mumbled something like _I don't know why I'm doing this, _and said:

"Just lunch, then. As acquaintances or whatever you'd like. Please?"

Kanda frowned, quickly running through excuses. He settled for a curt, "I'm not hungry."

_Grrrowwwwllll._

If it were not essential for his survival, Kanda would rip out his stomach and chop it into a million little pieces.

"…Kanda-san…" Allen's lips twitched upwards.

"If you say _anything _I'm leaving right now," Kanda warned angrily. He paused and avoided Allen's eyes. "…so where's this damn café?"

- - -

The café wasn't as repulsive as Kanda expected, even if the menu didn't quite suit his tastes. It was small but not shabby, with five round tables inside, wrought iron stools, and nice décor. Parisian scenes captured in black and white photographs hung on the red brick walls, but unlike the stereotypical Eiffel Tower and kissing scenes, these pictures looked less fabricated and more real.

"The owner here is actually French," Allen explained as they walked to the counter to place their orders, "she and my teacher used to… do business together in Paris." Kanda raised an eyebrow at the vague and slightly (read: extremely) sketchy explanation but didn't say anything.

"Do you like French food?" Allen asked as he handed Kanda a menu card.

"Not really," Kanda dead-panned, scanning the card for anything he might possibly consider eating. When he looked up, Allen was scratching the back of his neck with a cutely sheepish look on his face--

-- no, Kanda did not just imply Allen was cute. Like he would _ever_ think the stupid beansprout was _cute_ of all things, he didn't even _like_ him; what the hell was _wrong with him_--

"I'm sorry," Allen apologized, "I should have asked before dragging you here…"

"Yeah, you should have," Kanda placed the menu card back, "so now you get to pay for lunch."

"Not very forgiving are you, Kanda-san?" Allen muttered, though the slight worry on his face dissipated with Kanda's demand.

"That's what you get for being a pushy old man."

"I'm not an old man! Stop calling me that you jerk!" Allen yelled, and Kanda smirked at having finally gotten a rise out of the other boy. He was so sick of all the politeness, it was so _boring_, so _just like everyone else_ and for some reason referring to Allen as just like everyone else was annoying…

"Excuse me, are you ready to order?" the waitress interrupted their banter, looking between them expectantly. She gave them both a once-over and leaned over the counter. "What would you like?" she asked coyly, looking at Kanda first.

"The French Onion Soup."

"Anything else?" she batted her eyelashes at him and he narrowed his eyes.

"If I wanted anything else I would have ordered it the first time," he responded, unsmiling. The girl's expression wavered and she quickly turned to Allen.

"And you, sir?"

It was kind of amusing, how easily flustered Allen got; he was already blushing pink as the waitress turned her coquettish gaze on him. He swallowed uneasily and gave a nervous laugh, cheeks darkening a shade as she tried the fluttering-eyelash trick on him.

Kind of amusing … but also kind of annoying. How immature could this kid get?

"Just _order_, beansprout." Kanda cut in, making the waitress send him a glum sidelong glance.

"Ah, yes! I'll have the quiche Lorraine, tomato basil pasta, ham and cheese crepe, pork Florentine, chicken Parisian sandwich, the wild field greens salad, and the Strawberries Romanoff. Oh, and two orders of everything please."

The waitress's jaw dropped. Kanda's eyes widened to saucer-size with shock.

"O-Oi… can you really eat all that?" he asked slowly.

"Of course! Why else would I order it?" Allen replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The waitress hurried to get their orders to the chef, the bewildered look glued onto her face. Kanda rolled his eyes and took a seat at the table farthest away from the counter.

"So you're an old-man beansprout who eats the equivalent of an army," Kanda drawled, "how the hell do you stay so small?"

"You're mean, Kanda-san," Allen whined, "You haven't called me by my name _once_, you know?"

"So?"

"I don't _like_ being called a beansprout!"

"So?"

"K_an_da-san!"

"Stop that." Kanda said suddenly, crossing his arms and looking at the floor.

"Eh? Stop what?" Allen queried, blinking. "Did I do something, Kanda-san?"

"That! Stop adding the stupid –san to my name. It's just _Kanda_."

For some reason this made Allen smile so widely it looked like painful.

"Kanda it is, then," he replied softly.

"Tch."

- - -

"I can't believe you ate all of that," Kanda said as they stood in the parking lot. "You're disgusting."

For Allen had indeed finished every last scrap of food he ordered, and even offered to finish Kanda's soup afterwards.

"That's not very nice to say, Kanda-sa, ah, Kanda," Allen said, annoyed, and Kanda noticed he had a way of sticking his bottom lip out in the barest hint of a pout when he was displeased.

"What, you want me to compliment you on your bottomless stomach? Even you have to admit it's freakish."

"Well in my defense, I didn't eat much in my childhood… I was always scrounging around for scraps, so I guess you could say I'm making up for lost time," Allen grinned.

"Tch. That's not possible, dumbass," Kanda scoffed.

"It was a _joke_, Kanda," Allen sighed and there was a moment of awkward silence. "Well I'll let you go- you have groceries in the car, right? Wouldn't want them to spoil," Allen winked, "or else we might run into each other again here, ha-ha. And I'll drag you to another restaurant."

"Like I'm ever coming back, now that I know _you_ shop here," Kanda retorted, though there wasn't as much bite to it.

"I have a feeling that won't matter," Allen teased, "I'll find you somehow."

Kanda didn't reply to that, muttering something like a goodbye, he walked down the line of cars until he found his. He unlocked the car and slid in the front seat. He was about to shut the door when suddenly Allen was there, holding the door open and poking his head inside.

"Hey, what kind of restaurants do you like?" he asked breathlessly.

Kanda flinched backwards at the sudden proximity of Allen's face.

_He smells like… lotus. _

_Fucking lotus._

"…Japanese." He responded finally, if only to get Allen out of the car.

"Oh that's _right_! You're Japanese, aren't you?" Allen exclaimed in realization.

"Why do you ask? If you think we're going out to lunch again you're mistaken--"

"We'll see," Allen replied with a smirk, pulling out of the car, taking the sickening scent with him. He closed the door and Kanda glared at his back as he jogged down to where his car was parked.

"Stupid beansprout."

_Of all the shitty things he could smell like..._

_...lotus._

* * *

A/N: Ah yes, the infamous lotus...because you know Kanda isn't Kanda without it. While this is primarily a Yullen fic, I am going to try and explore Kanda's character and past a bit too... he is after all, my favorite. :D

Now, you've got to feel a little sorry for the poor waitress. Lord knows if I were in her position I would've fainted if two guys looking like Allen and Kanda walked in...

And I think Kanda-chan certainly made some progress towards the end, don't you? Even if he _did _make poor Allen pay for lunch... but Allen'll get him back eventually.

And oh my god has anyone else heard the news that the DGM anime is either stopping/going on hiatus for an undefined period?! D: -flails- How depressing...

Reviews will be used to fuel my inspiration.


	4. Soldier

Authors Note: A rather explanatory chapter with oodles of description... and omg, a plot?

Thanks to darkbrokenreaper, Kari of Shadow, uniFsky, Wolfie559933, Novelist Pup, darkangelwings90, Chronologic, Velvet Blindfold, pockylover123, Devils Melody, Exorcist-Miranda, and xXJustAnotherFangirlXx for reviewing! Much love to you all.

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**SUGAR-FREE**

04 -- _soldier_

* * *

When he got home, Marie had yet to return. Kanda put away all the groceries, made and drank a cup of tea, but still Marie wasn't back. There weren't any more chores to do around the house, so Kanda allowed himself some personal time. He grabbed a _shinai_ from his room and headed to the backyard.

The backyard was large square of green lawn cordoned off by Tiedoll's beloved handmade white-picket fence (it was way too cliché for Kanda to like it). The fence was unusually high; almost as tall as Marie- so it provided ample security and seclusion for their training sessions.

Kanda ran through the basic cuts, working his way up through all the levels of _kata_.

_Of all the things-_

There was a dummy set up next to one of the fence walls, its head lolled to one side from the plentiful beatings Kanda and Marie had given it over the years. Kanda shifted his focus and stance to stand in front of it.

_that beansprout had to remind him of-_

He gave a loud _kiai_ and slashed downwards on the sandbag doll, causing it to hit the fence and bounce back and forth roughly.

_all the things he could smell like-_

Kanda shifted his arms to the side, bringing his feet in closer, making his stance stronger…

_why lotus?!_

He attacked: curving his swing so it cut the dummy across the front in a deep diagonal sweep.

_Just like __that__ person… why was it always…_

The dummy's head was lobbed off completely, and it rolled to a stop in front of Kanda's feet, giving him a mournful look from the ground.

_Why couldn't his past just leave him be?_

'I don't know', the pitiful mannequin head seemed to answer, 'but you didn't have to take my head off.'

"Tch. Not my fault." Kanda muttered.

"Kanda."

Kanda whipped around, almost snapping his neck, at the voice. He had been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed Marie's entrance.

"What?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Marie motioned for him to come inside.

"There's a letter from the Order."

- - -

'The letter' was actually a thick packet that bulged with the amount inside.

"What is this?" Kanda picked up the envelope. It was blinding white in color, with the intricate cross of the infamous Black Order division in the corner. _To: Kanda Yuu, read immediately _was written in an elegant script across the back.

"News about the situation in Japan," Marie answered slowly, gauging Kanda's expression carefully, "I got one too."

Kanda ripped the envelope open, almost tearing the letter in his haste. His eyes narrowed as he read:

_To our respected soldier, Kanda Yuu:_

_Allow us to express our sincerest apologies for the passing of General Tiedoll. We do not wish to intrude during your mourning period, but you are a soldier of the Black Order Division and must be ready for duty no matter the occasion. We thank you for sacrificing your needs in this way._

That was just like them; not-so-subtly reminding all those unfortunate enough to be deemed worthy of the Order that they had no power over themselves. When you joined the Order, you joined it fully, body and soul.

_We trust you are aware of the situation in Japan; if not, a detailed booklet has been mailed along with this letter. Please familiarize yourself with all the details in the booklet as well as the following mission particulars._

_You are to shut down an enemy base in Tokyo and rendezvous with General Marian Cross. You will be working with three others in the Exorcist class. Noise Marie is one; you will receive the names of the other two soldiers when you meet the scout at the airport in Tokyo. Your scout's name is Toma Sato; he will tell you any additional information. Your plane tickets are attached: you and Noise Marie will depart for Japan in one week's time… _

…_Though we do not intend to worry you or suggest anything other than excellence on your part, it may be wise to set any important affairs in order prior to your departure. _

_We hold the utmost trust in your ability. Good luck._

- - -

The thought of dying did not scare Kanda. He had been conditioned from a young age (the Order chose their prized puppets as soon as possible) to be indifferent towards death. Tiedoll had always been soft and expressed regret for those he had to kill (Kanda had only ever seen his foster-father kill once). Marie took after the General; he was a good soldier but more of a 'behind-the-scenes' one; he created the perfect opportunities, but never delivered the final blow.

That was where Kanda came in.

Since the day Tiedoll found Kanda, his road had been stained in blood. Kanda was the ideal fighter; apathetic, strong, determined, a perfectionist. He wasn't satisfied until the job was done, and the job wasn't done until he could deliver his enemy's head on a golden platter to the bastards at the Order.

Tiedoll was powerful, but emotions made him weak. Marie was skilled, but lacked the resolve.

Kanda had nothing to lose.

Kanda was the perfect soldier.

- ­- -

One week later found Kanda and Marie in the airport's private lounge. Perhaps the only good thing about the Order was that they had contacts _everywhere_, even more so than other branches of the Army. Exorcists, the term given to the soldiers sent on high-risk extermination or spy missions, were treated to first class service during every mission. As a result, Kanda held two first-class plane tickets in his hand and sat on plush velvety couches rather than dirty plastic seats. Between the two of them they had exactly three pieces of luggage: a small suitcase each (they were instructed to pack light) and Kanda's katana, _Mugen._ Though it was arguable that a sword was quite a dated piece of weaponry to be carrying around, Kanda never left on a mission without it. That sword was his first possession and the only materialistic thing he owned that mattered to him. He was far more skilled with a blade than with aiming a gun anyway, and ending a battle with a sword felt so much more satisfying.

- - -

'The Enemy' was a group called NOAH.

Their true motives were still somewhat unclear; something like world destruction or domination or something stereotypical and overused like that. Kanda couldn't care less what they wanted to do. His job was to ensure they didn't live long enough to do it.

NOAH was apparently a family-run organization, concentrating large sources of nukes in certain locations without the knowledge of any government (even the higher-ups at the Army didn't have all the details; the Black Order was a highly exclusive and secretive division, giving out the vaguest of information even to their 'superiors'). They had crazy factories that pumped out bombs and all sorts of weaponry like there was no tomorrow, but the family itself had yet to be encountered. The Order received various threatening letters from someone who called himself _The Earl_, but no NOAH member had ever been seen in person.

It was unnerving to fight a war against an invisible enemy, but Kanda had always (secretly) liked a challenge.

- - -

The waiting time in the Dulles Airport wasn't too bad; especially since as first class passengers they boarded early. Their flight was a depressingly long one, stopping over in San Francisco before crossing the Pacific and landing in Japan. Marie was out as soon as the plane took off, but Kanda never slept easy in planes. Something about not having control that prickled his senses and kept him awake…

He occupied his time by thinking about the mission. It was fairly routine: infiltrate and destroy an enemy base from the inside, clean up whatever mess they made efficiently, and pay a visit to Headquarters before returning to their normal lives. The only difference this time was the rendezvous with General Cross.

Kanda himself had never met Cross, but the guy was famous throughout the division. Not only was he the best shooter they had, but he was also a genius scientist, though considered mad by some. However, the most frequently heard comment about Cross was that he was absolutely, without doubt, the biggest womanizer in the Order.

Now, Kanda wasn't one to pass judgment (especially over a General) based solely on rumors, but if they were true, he was _not_ looking forward to meeting the guy. If Tiedoll was one extreme, Cross appeared to be the other.

Speaking of upcoming meetings… who were the other two Exorcists they were meeting, he wondered? Kanda mentally ran through a list of the ones he knew (it was impossible to know everyone in the Order; the higher-ups ensured that- 'safety measures' they called it), but most of them were on missions of their own.

In the end, he decided there were two possibilities, neither of which he liked.

_Tch. If it's __that__ idiot…_

- - -

As promised, Toma was dutifully waiting for them at the Tokyo airport. He picked up their luggage without going through baggage claim (a few low words with the security personnel and their suitcases were out in a matter of minutes) and led them skillfully through the crowds.

"_Ano_, the other two Exorcists are already at the hotel," he began, balancing their luggage in one hand and fumbling for a cell phone in the other, "I'll just call the chauffer and we'll be on our way…"

"Thank you, Toma-san," Marie said earnestly.

"Just hurry up," Kanda snapped.

Six flustered apologies from Toma and fifteen minutes later, Kanda and Marie were seated in the cushy backseats of the Order's newest sleek black (and bullet-proof to boot) 'transport vehicle'. Marie took a sip of sparkling water from the mini-fridge between their seats. Transport vehicle? More like ostentatious display of power on wheels.

"Hey, Kanda, you can read these signs, right?" Marie asked as they drove into Tokyo downtown.

"I'm Japanese, Marie, what do you think?" Kanda grumbled.

"That's amazing! I know a little French, but that's about it…"

"How is it amazing that a Japanese person can read Japanese?" Kanda wondered out loud, annoyance dripping from every word, "Just pipe down Marie, it's indecent that you're so awake after a shitty flight like that."

"Were the first class accommodations unsatisfactory, Kanda-san?" Toma queried in a mild voice from the front of the car. "Is there something you would like us to change for next time?"

"Yeah, make sure I have a scout and partner who're mute."

"…" Toma fiddled with his hands nervously. How did anyone politely respond to something like that? Sensing Toma's unease, Marie shook his head and sighed.

"Don't take it personally, Toma-san. He's always like that."

- - -

The hotel they were staying at would have better fit the title of a modern palace. Made almost entirely of opaque glass, it was an elegant structure that towered over the surrounding buildings. It was twilight now, and the clouds created a rippled purple and pink reflection on the glass, neon city lights dancing across the surface like stars across a watery sky. It certainly was a magnificent affair, and _maybe_ Kanda would have better appreciated it if he hadn't been so sleep deprived and downright cranky.

A bellboy clothed in a stark white uniform that hurt Kanda's eyes opened the door and bowed low at the waist. Toma led them inside, where more uniformed employees greeted them with warm welcomes. The inside was possibly more extravagant than the front face of the building; crystal chandeliers as big as the expensive cars parked outside hung from the ball-room height ceiling, casting their glittering light on the creamy marble floor. Potted plants had been taken to a whole new level of class; intricate arrangements of exotic flowers, some native to the Far East, some obviously imported, decorated each service counter. The far back wall was in fact a simplistic fountain styled after a waterfall; there was a gently flowing stream of water that cascaded down from somewhere where the wall met the ceiling down to a stone pool in the lobby.

But it was not the surrounding opulence that caught Kanda's eye, made his heart skip a beat for shock.

No, it was when he looked over at the two figures by the pool, and saw one of them had shock-white hair and wide gray eyes, a delicate scar running across his cheek…

_That _was when Kanda dropped _Mugen_ with a clang and cursed whatever god was listening.

"_Beansprout?!"_

* * *

A/N: Because you knew it was gonna happen. Dur. Allen's been given the mission to prove the Universe Hates Kanda... or something like that. _Of _course he had to show up again.

Owaa, this was a rather dull chapter in my opinion, sorry for that, but it was neccesary. (LOL plot...)

And, hehe, just cos I'm so proud, the first part where Kanda's working with the shinai? I've actually done that in real life. I practice Japanese Martial Arts. It's pretty sweet. :D

Here's an easy peasy question: can anyone guess who "that idiot" is? There's only one other person in Kanda's life whom he would refer to with such fondness. xD

Reviews will be used in substitute of fattening chocolate to make me happy.


	5. Panorama

Authors Note: Woo, no school for me tomorrow, so in celebration, an update!

This chapter somewhat amuses me. :)

Thanks to uniFsky, Sleeping Moon, Wolfie559933, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Novelist Pup, Exorcist-Miranda, SacredLife, Nusku, Alva Hesperus, Velvet Blindfold, Kawaiichibi2345, Alice Melan, and dead or alive0013, YuZiHan, zenbon zakura and Akara Aryam Akanoma for reviewing! Your reviews make me squeal. :D

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SUGAR-FREE

_05 -- panorama _

* * *

It seemed Allen Walker was _not_ there with specific plans to torment him, for an identical look of surprise came over his face, and his jaw dropped.

"K-K-Kanda?!" he stammered, arms flailing slightly.

"Oh? _Yuu_!"

Kanda snapped out of his astonished (freaked out? flabbergasted?) daze by a voice he wished he never had to hear again… so _that_ idiot was here too…

"Lavi," he ground out through clenched teeth, "Call me that again and _die_, you stupid rabbit!"

"Eh, you know each other?" Allen jumped in, voice spiking an octave in shock.

At the same time: "Unfortunately." "We're best friends!"

"But more importantly, why the hell are you here, beansprout?!" Kanda turned to Allen with a scowl, because it was all his fault that Kanda's insides were doing strange -- nauseating -- flips at seeing his face again…yeah, he was just that sickening to look at, stupid old-man beansprout…

"I'm an Exorcist," Allen explained, "I knew you were involved with the Order but I had no clue you were an Exorcist too…"

"Isn't this great?" Lavi said happily, "We're all assigned to the same mission, and we're all such good friends!"

"I'm not your friend!" Kanda hissed, "And now I'm going to see if I can transfer."

So saying, he grabbed _Mugen_ and stalked off fuming to where Toma was checking into the hotel. From their viewpoint by the pool, Lavi and Allen could see Kanda yelling angrily, Marie attempting to placate him, and Toma fretting and bowing repeatedly.

Lavi sighed, "That Yuu… he never changes, huh?"

Allen turned to face the red head, "Have you known him for a long time, then?"

"Yup. My gramps and General Tiedoll had some long-term missions together before…we were friends as kids, though he'll never admit it," he chuckled, "but man, he was a jerk back then too… at least, until you get to know him," Lavi winked, "So, how do _you_ know him, Allen?"

"Ha-ha, it's kind of embarrassing actually… and I don't know him as well as you do," Allen frowned delicately, "I met him at the funeral for the General, that's all."

"Doesn't seem that way to me… I mean, he's given you a nickname, hasn't he?"

"What, beansprout? That's just to piss me off because he doesn't like me," Allen replied, somewhat dejectedly.

"Nah, trust me," Lavi smiled, "If he didn't like you, he wouldn't acknowledge your existence. Our Kanda's just a little slow, is all."

Kanda stalked back at this point, joined by Marie and Toma, who was carrying a stack of papers.

"Ano… here are your room assignments," Toma handed out room keys to each of them, "Unfortunately you're not all on the same floor. Kanda-san, Lavi-san you two are on floor 8. Allen-san and Marie-san, you're on floor 7. I apologize for the inconvenience."

"Oi, Marie, wanna switch?" Kanda asked immediately.

"No thanks." Marie added in a whisper: "Last time I was in a room with Lavi, he didn't shut up all night. Sorry, Kanda."

"Self-preserving bastard."

"If you need anything, please call using these phones," Toma pulled three small spherical objects from his pocket. They were black, with a blue button on the front face. He pressed the button and two 'wings' opened on either side, allowing the spheres to float above his hand. "They're the Order's latest invention; you can communicate discreetly with free hands. All the necessary contact numbers have already been programmed into them. Plus, you get a signal almost anywhere."

"Why doesn't the beansprout get one?" Kanda asked, after Toma handed one to him, Lavi and Marie.

"I've already got one," Allen admitted, pulling out a slightly larger golden ball from his jacket, "though this one's actually my masters…"

"Your master…?"

"General Cross. He's lazy beyond all belief, so he dropped Timcanpy off with me- hence the reason why the Order can't contact him," Allen said, eyes narrowing at the mention of his master.

"But aren't we supposed to rendezvous with that guy?" Kanda asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, about that… we have to find him first," Lavi informed with a sheepish laugh. Kanda twitched. So this was one of the _mission specifics _the Order had declined to mention…

Toma passed around a stack of papers. "Here are the complete mission details, along with maps to locations where the General has been sighted. Your luggage has been delivered to your rooms. I will meet you here in the lobby tomorrow morning at 6; breakfast is in the restaurant on the second floor. Good night, Exorcists." The scout bowed and departed.

"Tch. Oi, stupid rabbit, let's go," Kanda ordered, turning on his heel and striding to the elevators.

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight Allen, Marie!" Lavi waved and followed Kanda out of the lobby.

Their room was like an apartment suite; there were two bedrooms, a huge bathroom (though there was just one, much to Kanda's dismay), a living room with a sweeping panoramic view of the city plus a balcony, a kitchen and a dining area.

"I love missions, don't you, Yuu?" Lavi flopped down on the couch and grinned up at Kanda.

"I don't really care either way," Kanda replied shortly, "I'm going to bed. Don't disturb me, or I'll kill you."

"Sure, sure. But before you go… let's look at the view!" Lavi didn't wait for an answer; he grabbed Kanda's arm and dragged him out onto the balcony.

The Tokyo night was cool and clear. A slight breeze drifted between the buildings, offering a refreshing breath from the city smog. The twinkling city lights replaced the stars, but the traffic below reminded them they were still on earth.

"You--! Tch. _Fine_, I looked, now I'm--"

"What do you think of Allen?" Lavi interrupted, a serene look on his face as he looked out at the city. He glanced at Kanda sideways. "No… more like, what are you going to do with him?"

Kanda blinked, startled by the question, and glowered.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"He's a good kid," Lavi said, all seriousness now, "don't just mess with him, okay?"

"I have no intentions to do anything of the sort. I don't want him in my life. Why are we even _having _this conversation?"

"So you don't like him at all?"

"No! He's annoying."

Lavi studied Kanda's face for a moment, before sighing and nodding.

"Alright, I understand," he said at last, "goodnight."

"_Finally_," Kanda muttered under his breath, walking back inside.

"Ah, so you wouldn't mind if I started calling him beansprout too, right?" Lavi called from the balcony.

Kanda twitched.

…_What do I care, anyway?_

"Do what you want!" he half-shouted, storming into the closest bedroom and shutting the door with a harsh bang.

Lavi smiled.

- - -

Allen and Marie's suite was pretty much the same; in fact, it was right below Kanda and Lavi's.

There was a loud slam from upstairs that sounded like a door had almost fallen off its hinges. Marie sighed.

"Kanda…"

"I'd like to apologize, Marie-san," Allen started, dropping his suitcase by one of the bedroom doors.

"For what?"

"You asked me to take care of Kanda… I haven't been doing a very good job," Allen sighed, "It would probably have been better to just wait until Lenalee got back…"

"Oh? I think you've been doing fine," Marie smiled in amusement, "I see you're calling him Kanda now… and he's given you a nickname, hasn't he?"

"No, no! You don't understand, he just does that to annoy me!" Allen insisted, cheeks dusted with a hint of pink that Marie didn't miss, "And anyway…Lavi has one too, doesn't he?" he added the last part as an afterthought Marie guessed he wasn't supposed to hear.

Wait. Marie blinked. Oh. Did Allen…?

"We've known Lavi for a long time," Marie said quickly, "Though Kanda is loathe to admit it, he does consider Lavi a _friend,_" he stressed the word.

"Well, he's said repeatedly that _we're _not friends," Allen sighed, "I'm trying, Marie-san. I just can't seem to reach out him."

"With Kanda, everything takes time. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, so to speak," Marie said, causing a grin to spread across Allen's face, "but he isn't as stiff and uncaring as he makes himself out to be. Kanda does things slowly… he realizes things slowly. I'm sure you mean a lot more to him than he lets on."

"Well, I've only known him since the funeral," Allen scratched the back of his neck and laughed sheepishly, "I sure sound selfish, expecting him to open up to me so readily…just because that's how I was like…" he trailed off and after a moment, a softer smile blossomed across his face. "Thank you, Marie-san."

Later, after Allen was fast asleep, Marie stood out on the balcony and smiled up at the sky.

"Shishou, I think this one will finally get through to him, don't you?"

And even through the oppressing light of the city, Marie swore he saw a star twinkle back as though in reply.

_Yes, yes, I do._

* * *

A/N: Oh. So. CORNY.

BUT IT'S SWEET, SO I HAD TO KEEP IT. -twitches- Yeahh.

Anywho... chapter's called panorama 'cos this time we get to see some of Allen's thoughts too. :)  
and just for the record, I love writing Lavi...he's so cool... 8D

Hope you liked, and hope it was a bit more amusing than the last one. Also, if you want a quick somewhat fluffy piece, I just added a new Yullen drabble called Foreign, and I'd love to hear what you think. -nudge nudge-

Reviews will be used to reattach my fingers after they fall off from typing and retyping and editing the upcoming chapter 6 (which is the longest one so far).


	6. First Timers

Authors Note: Owaaah, this chapter and I share a love/hate relationship. But I got sick of trying to figure out what I didn't like about it... so here it is, for your reading pleasure.

Thanks to Alice Melan, Exorcist-Miranda, afinemess (-glomps-), Nusku, uniFsky, Wolfie559933, Novelist Pup, Angelique-Rays, iruka92, Velvet Blindfold, dead or alive0013, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Devils Melody, and ramuthra for reviewing!

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SUGAR-FREE

06_ -- first timers_

* * *

Kanda was up and fully dressed by 4:30 the next morning. He usually got up early anyway, but this time he had other reasons for waking at such an ungodly hour.

Yeah… the time Lavi picked the lock of the bathroom to _brush his fucking teeth _while Kanda was _in the fucking shower_ was certainly not an experience he'd like to repeat.

This time, he had made sure Lavi was still snoring before entering the bathroom. For extra precaution, he even dragged a chair from the living room and shoved it under the door knob to ensure the door wouldn't open, even if Lavi managed to pick the lock.

Lavi was still asleep when Kanda left the room, putting him in a Somewhat Pleased mood. He made his way down to the second floor for breakfast, and even agreed to the waiter's suggestion to eat outside, so happy was he.

The large restaurant balcony was expertly hidden from sight in order to preserve the elegant design; the two sides of the hotel wrapped around, concealing it from outside view. However, this meant that in addition to the Tokyo cityscape, Kanda got to see the balconies of rooms that were facing the same way. This wasn't a problem, since nobody else was up except Kanda and the poor waiters who were on the early morning shift.

Kanda ordered soba (for once he wasn't given a strange look for it) and tea. He finished his breakfast in silence within the hour, and was so content he decided to stay and watch the sunrise.

And then, because God apparently hated Kanda, a lone figure walked out onto the seventh floor balcony and suddenly it _mattered_ that Kanda could see the other rooms. Luckily, Allen didn't stay outside for long; he shivered in the too-big white shirt he wore as pajamas (and it looked like that was _all_ he was wearing) and shuffled back inside. Kanda swallowed thickly.

At 5:15, just as Kanda was contemplating seeing if the stupid rabbit was up, Allen walked into the restaurant.

"Kanda," he greeted with a polite smile, seating himself across from Kanda without asking, "_O-hai-you- gozaimasoo_."

Kanda set his tea cup down with a loud clink. "What the _hell_ did you just say to me?"

"Oh, did I mispronounce it?" Allen asked, pouting in frustration, "It means good morning, right?"

"Tch. It does when you say it correctly, without that stupid accent of yours."

"How can you be such a jerk so early in the morning?" Allen asked in a low whine, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"It's _ohayo gozaimasu_," Kanda said with a sigh, "Learn how to pronounce something properly before you try and use it."

"…I'll remember that for next time," Allen replied, smiling now that Kanda had decided not to be a complete asshole. _Why was that, again?_

They lapsed into uncomfortable (at least on Kanda's side) silence, until Allen walked over to stand by the railing.

"Do you often watch the sunrise?" he asked Kanda over his shoulder, and Kanda's response was a few moments delayed, because _Jesus Christ_, who would have thought the stupid beansprout looked so… so… fucking _golden_ with his pearly hair and pretty face, dawn sunlight making his pale skin _glow _like he was some sort of _angel _sent down to save them all or something equally corny.

Yeah, corny. That was exactly what it was.

"Not really," Kanda answered in a gruff tone.

"Ah. I do. It's sort of tradition for me. Mana and I used to--" here Allen caught himself, the faraway look leaving his silvery eyes. He trailed off awkwardly and silence overtook them again. Kanda frowned as a strange expression settled on the beansprout's face: something between regret and pain and the way a child looks when he's lost in a crowd.

"Oi. Stop looking so fucking depressed; it's annoying," Kanda found himself saying, "Let's go."

He didn't know why he waited for the beansprout, why he felt somewhat better when Allen shook himself out of his gloominess and perked up, but the kid was frustratingly hard to hate when he looked so vulnerable like that.

It turned out that Kanda and Allen were the only ones downstairs, even at 6:10. Toma sighed.

"Since it looks like the other two are delayed for some reason, you two can begin your part of the mission now," he handed them each a city map, with three areas circled and directions from the hotel to each location highlighted, "these are the places you are to investigate for information about the General. Please report back to the hotel by dinner time so we can share any information."

"Thank you, Toma-san." Allen smiled and bowed. Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Ah, it's nothing, Allen-san. Please be careful," Toma dropped his voice, "NOAH has many associates here. I would refrain from wearing the Order issued jackets today; for safety's sake."

A few moments after Kanda and Allen had exited the building, Toma noticed two skulking shadows behind a large potted plant.

"Ah, Lavi-san, Marie-san, you're finally here… wait, were you hiding behind there all this time?!"

- - -

7:09 found Kanda and Allen in downtown Tokyo's Hibiya Park, having difficulties reading their city map.

"I swear it was this way…" Allen said, turning the map around.

"You can't even read a freaking map? Useless beansprout!" Kanda grabbed the map and scrutinized it for a long minute.

"…well?" Allen prompted.

"…tch," Kanda didn't meet his gaze, crumpling the map and chucking it at Allen's head.

"What, couldn't _you _read it, Kanda?" Allen asked, looking smug.

"Shut up! Tch…what's the name of the place we're going to? I can figure it out better that way."

Allen fished through the papers Toma gave them. He found the correct one and read: "Let's see… it's a hotel called _Ameno no Angou…_Divine Coincidence."

"Come on," Kanda ordered, snatching the paper from Allen's hands and walking to where an elderly man was sitting, feeding the birds. The old man looked up at Kanda's approach. "_Where's this place?" _Kanda asked in fluent, if a little rusty, Japanese. The man squinted at the paper before nearly falling out of his seat. He narrowed his eyes and gave Kanda and Allen a dirty, dirty look before muttering something Allen didn't catch. Kanda stumbled back a step, and left briskly. Allen jogged to catch up, and when he did, he was amused to find Kanda blushing.

"What did the guy say?" Allen asked curiously.

"…what…_what kind of guy is your master?!"_ Kanda shouted, shoving the paper back in Allen's face.

"…oh god, don't tell me it's _that_ bad…" Allen murmured, eyes widening.

"It's in the _red light district._"

- - -

From the minute they entered one of the shadier looking red light districts, Kanda could _feel_ lecherous eyes following their every move. It was disgusting. Occasionally a drunk would call out something lewd to them, and Allen would blush and look away, and Kanda would give the guy the finger. They walked like this for nearly twenty minutes, and after the _sixth fucking drunk_ cooed at them, Kanda growled:

"That old man better not have given me the wrong directions…"

"He didn't," Allen said, relieved, "it's over there."

He was pointing at a large pagoda-styled building entrance, painted in vivid reds and golds, crimson lanterns hanging in a line across a wooden beam, with two blue lanterns beside the door frame. The sign bore the appropriate kanji, and in addition, _Divine Coincidence_ in English below.

"Thank _God,"_ Kanda breathed, striding with new vigor towards their destination. Once in front of the entrance, the two teenagers paused.

"…do we just go in, do you think?" Allen asked, hesitantly.

"What, you think I would know?!" Kanda bit back.

"I was just asking!"

They continued bickering outside until a shadow fell over them. They looked up to meet the hard eyes of a bald and extremely buff man with breasts.

Wait, _what_?

"Uh…" Allen began, and Kanda started twitching. What had they gotten themselves into?

The man (lady?) picked them both up by the collar and said loudly in a surprisingly feminine voice,

"Sorry, we don't serve _kids_ or _first-timers_."

"Ehh?!" Allen exclaimed, flailing, "No, no, we're with the Order, not--!" Her eyes widened a smidgen.

"Go to the end of the street and turn left into the alleyway. You'll see the back entrance there; I'll take you to the Lady," the exceedingly manly woman whispered kindly, though she spared none of that kindness to give them an easy landing; she dropped both of them on the cement sidewalk without another word, shooting them a steely glare before disappearing inside.

"Ouch…" Allen rubbed his back, "…what the hell was that?"

True to her word, the strange woman was waiting for them in the alleyway.

"My name is Mahoja," she explained, leading them inside, "My Master, Anita-sama and I are supporters of the Order; we just can't make it public. Sorry if I dropped you too hard," she grinned at them.

"We're looking for General Cross," Kanda said, direct and to the point. "Is he here?"

Mahoja frowned, "No, I'm afraid not… but Anita-sama will probably know more about where he could be now."

She stopped in front of a screen door, kneeling and announcing their presence. A soft voice from inside bid them enter. Mahoja slid the door open and motioned for Allen and Kanda to go forward.

The first thing one would notice about Anita was that she was incredibly beautiful. Her hair was long and sleek and glossy; black bangs falling across her forehead in a way that framed her face (and sort of reminded Allen of Kanda). She wore an elaborate kimono and sat folded elegantly on a cushion.

"Welcome," Anita bowed her head, "please, sit down."

"Anita-san, we're Exorcists looking for my master, General Cross," Allen began, "we were told this was a place he had been to recently… do you know where he could be now?"

"You're Cross's disciple?" Anita asked, looking at Allen with new fondness as he nodded in the affirmative, "I'm so sorry I cannot be of more help, but Cross-sama did not tell me where exactly he was going. I know he remains in Tokyo, but that is the extent of my knowledge. I believe he has his own mission to complete here."

"Thank you, Anita-san, you've been a great help," Allen smiled, "At least we know he's in the city, right Kanda?"

"Tch, whatever. That still leaves a pretty fucking big city to search."

- - -

At 3:30, Kanda and Allen had finished two of their three assigned places for the day (the second one was the Tokyo _National Diet Library_, but they found nothing there). It took them another hour to navigate back to Hibiya Park, where they decided on a plan of action for the last part of the mission.

"Can't it wait?" Allen said, clutching his stomach, "I'm so _hungry_."

"Show some discipline, beansprout. We're on a mission."

"I didn't even eat _breakfast_ thanks to you!" Allen cried, "I'm serious, I have to eat something. Besides," he added exasperatedly, "it's not like we're going to find Master. He's probably not in any of the locations the Order thinks he's in _anyway_."

"Why didn't you tell the scout that before we started searching?" Kanda asked, grinding his teeth. "Are you telling me this whole thing is _pointless_?"

"Well, I didn't say that, but…" Allen's stomach growled loudly.

"_Fine_. Go _eat_ something," Kanda rolled his eyes; "_I_'m going to finish the mission."

"Eh? Are you sure…?"

"Weren't you the one complaining about starvation? Annoying kid…"

Allen flashed him a brilliant smile, "Thank you, Kanda. I'll be over there," he pointed behind him to a small restaurant, "if you get back early."

- - -

Though he would never in a million years admit it, Kanda agreed that the General wouldn't be found so easily, and thus didn't expect to find anything of use in the last location. He made his way back after half an hour, and was not surprised to find Allen still at the restaurant. Kanda crinkled his nose in disgust as he saw the huge stack of plates next to the beansprout—and Allen continued to shovel in more.

Kanda was about to walk over to Allen's table and tell him to hurry up, when another man took the seat across from Allen.

_What the hell?_

The guy looked rather sketchy, for lack of a better word; he wore large foggy glasses, had holes in his jeans and the hem of his collared white shirt was frayed. He sported a mop of curly brown hair and an unlit cigarette in his mouth, a wide grin across his face.

Allen laughed at something the man said, and that too-wide grin grew. Kanda craned his neck and saw the man put down a deck of cards on the table, sliding them over to Allen. When Allen placed his palm over the deck, the other quickly covered it with his own, and said something that made Allen laugh again. He (_finally_) removed his hand and Allen pocketed the cards.

_Alright, that's enough._

Kanda strode over with new purpose (_which was…?) _and slammed his hand down on the table, making Allen and the man startle.

"K-Kanda! _Jesus_ you don't have to be so scary," Allen said, shaking his head.

"It's time to go, beansprout," Kanda informed, voice tinged with extreme irritation at… at… something.

"Oh?" the stranger spoke, "Is this the boyfriend you were telling me about?" he asked, the grin never leaving his face. Kanda blinked slowly. _What?_

"NO!" Allen shouted quickly, "_No_, it's _not _like that, I swear," he insisted, cheeks pink, "he's just a friend."

Kanda didn't like the way the man leaned closer over the table after Allen's words, licking his lips as though he were looking at a six course buffet.

"Well that's good to know," the man practically cooed.

"_Beansprout, we're leaving." _Kanda hissed, the venom in his words jolting Allen out of his seat.

"Fine, fine! Sorry," Allen apologized sheepishly, "ah… Tyki, was it?"

"The one and only," the man replied, standing. He took one of Allen's hands in his own and raised it to his lips. "It was _certainly_ my pleasure to meet you, Allen-kun," he murmured against the back of Allen's hand. Allen turned several shades of red and, laughing shakily, pulled his hand away.

"…until next time then, ha-ha, I guess…"

Kanda was sick of this shit. He grabbed Allen by the elbow and forcefully dragged him away from the sketchy bastard who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself--

"I don't know what you're thinking, _beansprout_," he said the word with more bite than usual, "but this is a mission, not an international dating venture."

"It wasn't like that, jerk! Tyki-san and I just played a few card games--"

"Oh, is _that_ what they're calling it these days?"

"You-! You're horrible, you know that? He's a perfectly nice guy. We didn't _do anything;_ he just wanted to play a game of poker--"

"Strip poker?"

"Shut _up_, you perverted _asshole_," Allen shot back, getting surprisingly worked up (_come to think of it, this was the angriest he'd seen the beansprout…)_ "We played three games, I won, so he said he'd pay for lunch. That's _all_." Allen pulled his arm free and stormed ahead.

_What was that? What the hell was that?_

_It's none of my business._

_I don't care._

_So why do I?_

* * *

A/N: YAY TYKI! I do love me some Tyki. He's made of win and awesome, and thus _had_ to be in the story. And he most certainly will pop up again...Tyki/Allen is so dang cute. But worry not! I'm still hardcore Yullen fan, Tyki's just a sexy distraction tossed in. :P

HOMG, KANDA'S REALIZING THAT HE FEELS SOMETHING?!

You've gotta give him a pat on the back for that. Kanda-chan's taking some pretty big steps here! xD But, now Allen's pretty ticked...

Next chapter will be in a different style, and not as long, but with more insight into Kanda's thoughts. :) It's drafted, so expect it up soon!

Reviews will be used to drive away my angst at seeing the last DGM episode.


	7. A Conversational Interlude

Authors Note: In replacement of the DGM episode which should have been out today... I give you chapter 7!

As the title states, this chapter has only conversation! When the entire thing is in italics, it means it's a memory, and when it's in italics with no quotation marks it means it's Kanda's thoughts. Do tell me if it gets confusing.

This one was fun to write. :)

Thanks to Wolfie559933, Nusku, Sleeping Moon, Novelist Pup, uniFsky, Kawaiichibi2345, Velvet Blindfold, Exoricst-Miranda, nanachan87, Allenscrazyfangirl and xXJustAnotherFangirlXx for reviewing! They really do brighten my day!

* * *

**SUGAR-FREE**

07_ -- a conversational interlude _

* * *

"_What are you drawing now?"_

"_Will you let me draw you, Yuu-kun?"_

"_Stop calling me that! And no. Never!"_

"_Why? You'd be such a good model, you're so--"_

"_Pretty? I'm sick of everyone saying that!"_

"_I was going to say well defined. You've got strong features, Yuu-kun. You're going to be a wonderful Exorcist."_

"_I __am__ an Exorcist. That's why you gave me this, isn't it?"_

"_A sword doesn't make you an Exorcist, Yuu-kun. It's your heart that matters."_

"_But that Leverrier guy told me I should throw mine away if I--"_

"_No! Never throw it away, Yuu! Just hide it. Keep it safe…until it's ready to be stolen."_

"_What the heck? Why keep it safe if it's going to get stolen? ...You're going senile, aren't you?"_

"_Yuu…one day, you'll meet someone whom you can't disregard with the same indifference and coldness you show everyone else… someone even dearer to you than your own papa!"_

"_You're not my father, stupid geezer!"_

"_That's not the point, Yuu-kun. Well, you're still young. You've got plenty of time."_

"…

…_what are you drawing now?"_

"_Awfully curious today, aren't you, my kawaii son?"_

"_Stop using Japanese! And I'm not your son!"_

"_It's still untitled."_

"_What?"_

"_The drawing. I don't know what it is yet. I'm sure it'll reveal itself in time."_

"_It's a drawing. It can't reveal anything, stupid."_

"_Hmm…we'll see."_

"…_oi."_

"_Mm?"_

"…_howwillIknow?"_

"_Pardon?"_

"_How will I know!?"_

"_Know what?"_

"_If someone-- you know!"_

"_If you fall in love? Oh ho ho… well, I can't tell you exactly, because it's different for everyone, but let's see…it'll feel warm, I'm sure."_

"_Like when I sit by the fire?"_

"_Not quite like that, but maybe it will feel like fire. Do you understand that?"_

"_Not really. You're a horrible explainer."_

"_Love is hard to explain… and it doesn't help that you're rather thick-headed too."_

"_Tch!"_

"_How can I put this? Well, you'll know when you do. When you find that person, you'll feel something inside that you haven't felt before. You won't be able to forget it. You'll think about them a lot, because they'll make you feel something wonderful. Like… you'll feel like you're flying when they smile, for example."_

"_Then I'll just get nauseous…"_

"_Ha ha ha! Oh, Yuu-kun… well, that's a part of love too!"_

"_You make no sense, old man."_

"_Ah, you'll see the meaning behind my words one day, Yuu. I'm sure of it. I only hope I am there to witness such a special occasion."_

"_I don't think it's going to happen."_

"_We never do, and then it does."_

- - -

"Oi, beansprout. Are you still throwing a tantrum about what I said earlier?"

"I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk to you now, Kanda."

"Heh. So you _are. _You know, you could be mature about this and --_"_

"Kanda, I really don't want to hear it."

"Don't act like a baby, beansprout."

"You're such an asshole!"

"Get a grip; it wasn't that bad _anyway_, because you know that guy was sketchy as all fuck--"

"Just shut it! If you weren't such a _bastard_ maybe you'd consider apologizing before asking _me_ to forgive _you_."

"I'm not asking for your fucking forgiveness. I don't need that. I'm just saying- you're even more annoying when you're being a whiny kid."

"…I didn't think it was _possible_, but you're even more infuriating when you're trying to make up."

"I'm not trying to make up! There is nothing to make up. I don't like you and you don't like me, this is all just for the good of the _mission_."

"But I do like you, Kanda! I really do…I'd like to be your friend, but you're _impossible. _I don't know what's keeping you so closed, if it's because of General Tiedoll's death or--"

"Don't talk to me about that guy! You didn't know him; you have no _idea_ about _anything_. Don't act like you know me!"

"I'm not! I'm just _saying_ that you're … you're so _cold_. And if you're not being an icy bastard, you're like this- angry and hostile and unapproachable…I… I don't know what to say to you, Kanda."

"…"

"You know, this morning, I thought you had started opening up a bit. You were actually, dare I say, _pleasant_. I liked that side of you."

"…"

"Ugh, forget it. I guess you're just an ass, through and through."

"You little--!"

"_What? _You know it's true. You make yourself that way for some unfathomable reason."

"Like you know anything, fucking beansprout."

"See? You're just proving my point, Kanda."

"You sure are a damn nuisance. I told you I don't like you; get it through your head. This is for the sake of the _mission_."

"Like hell it is!"

"…_what else would it be about? _It's not like I care what you think, you retarded old man!"

"…You know what? I've decided. I hate you--"

"Oh! Beansprout-Allen, Yuu! How was your day?"

"Hey, Lavi– wait, did you just call me beansprout?! _Lavi!_"

_I'm… confused._

"Well, that's what Yuu calls you, isn't it?"

_Why does it matter if he's angry?_

"Yeah, and the jerk also thinks I'm an annoyance. Do _you_ think I'm annoying, Lavi?"

_Why am I so angry?_

"No… of course not!"

_So what if he hates me?_

"Then don't call me beansprout!"

_I've never cared…I couldn't care less…_

"But you're so short! It fits you well!"

…_couldn't care less… but…_

"Be quiet! I'm still growing, you know!"

…_but…does that mean I care?_

"Silly Allen, puberty comes only once… or not at all in your case."

_Even if it's only a little…_

"Stupid Lavi!"

…_and it's really, really little…_

"Aw, you're so cute when you're mad, Allen-chan!"

…_Shishou._

"Jeez, first Kanda now you!"

_Shishou, my path has always been clear…_

"Well, just take it as a sign of affection… beansprout-chan!"

_...so why am I confused now?_

- - -

"_When __I_ _fall in love, I want the girl to be super-pretty and have a pretty voice, and she should cook pretty well too."_

"_Is the word pretty the only adjective in your dictionary, Marie?"_

"_Oh, you get the point, Kanda."_

"_Not really. Why the heck would you want a girl anyway?"_

"_What, you think I'd want a boy or something? Eww, heck no!"_

"_I didn't mean it like that, retard! I meant why would you want to give yourself a weakness like that?"_

"_A weakness? Jeez, Kanda, I know we're like, training to be Exorcists or whatever, but you've gotta think about things other than stabbing the bad guys with that mujin thing."_

"_It's _Mugen_, you idiot! Thinking about other things is pointless. I don't even know why you want to be an Exorcist, Marie. Don't you have something worth fighting for other than your stupid dream girl?"_

"_Kanda, love is totally worth fighting for."_

"_No, love is a weakness. It gives your enemies something to manipulate and use against you."_

"_You're pretty twisted, huh? Let loose a little. Love makes life worth living!"_

"_I don't need something like that. I've got my own reasons for living."_

"_Man, you're all set and ready to go, aren't you? You sure take life seriously… but at the same time not seriously enough. You're not really living, Kanda."_

"_So you say. I don't really care. I don't need to be weighed down by something as flighty as love."_

"_Kanda, Kanda. You know, Shishou says, love doesn't weigh you down – it lifts you up!"_

"_Yeah, and so do drugs. Now what do they say about those?"_

"…_You're such a wet towel, it's not even funny."_

* * *

A/N: I love the two memory bits, they were my favorite parts to write. Keep in mind, Kanda's 10 or 11 or something in the memory sequences. Yeah, somethin' like that.

Next chapter is another long one, so look forward to that being up... probably by the weekend or next week at the latest. (Maybe sooner if you review...? :P)


	8. He Just Needs a Reason

Authors Note: OMG 100+ REVIEWS! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! -teary eyed- Much love to all my reviewers and readers!

Honestly, I was surprised at the amount of people who really liked the last chapter... I thought I'd get a lot of 'it was too confusing' remarks, but hey, I'm thrilled you guys enjoyed it! So here's my next question that some have asked for already: do you guys want to see one like that, but through Allen's point of view?

A lot of stuff happens in this chapter (I think it's the longest so far? Maybe?) and it was rather fun to write. :)

This chapter is dedicated to my lovely reviewers: Nusku, darkbrokenreaper, Wolfie559933, Novelist Pup, Velvet Blindfold, Alice Melan, Exorcist-Miranda, uniFsky, Ghost of the Crescent Moon, dead or alive0013, Sleeping Moon, Devils Melody, imhappynessinabottle, Lily Hana, Valitiel, mimicsmaze and Xiao Yue Er for reviewing! :D

* * *

**SUGAR-FREE**

08 -- _he just needs a reason_

* * *

Dinner was an unglamorous affair, even if they did dine at the hotels five star restaurant: the mood was completely ruined by the aura surrounding Kanda and Allen. Lavi and Marie knew better than to ask directly (both of them were being such children about whatever it was they were arguing about), and instead settled for attempts at conversation.

"Well, we didn't find anything today," Lavi began, "Our locations were a bunch of bars throughout the city…and as soon as we mentioned Cross we were kicked out!" he laughed, "So tell me, Allen, is Cross really _that_ bad?"

"Probably worse than whatever you've heard," Allen began, "He's not exactly the ideal of a man."

"That explains a lot about you," Kanda muttered.

"Excuse me, did you say something?" Allen asked, deadly polite. "Or was that just a _mosquito_ in my ear?"

"Fu--"

"You two, please! We're in a nice restaurant, _behave _yourselves!" Marie chided. Allen pursed his lips and looked away, and Kanda folded his arms and continued sulking in his seat.

"And? What about you two?" Lavi prompted.

"I'd rather not talk about it, Lavi," Allen said with an obviously fake smile, "we didn't find anything useful, anyway."

"Ehh? But aren't we supposed to share our experiences over dinner?" Lavi pouted, "I was so looking forward to a good story…"

"It's rather embarrassing, and not good for dinner conversation," Allen explained, and just as he finished:

"We went to the fucking red light district, spoke to one of Cross's mistresses and then fucking beansprout here flirted with some sketchy hobo in a restaurant."

Lavi blinked. Marie coughed. The people around them hastily went back to eating.

"I don't think I've met a more insufferable person than you, Kanda," Allen said, and Lavi shivered at the cheery smiling façade the younger boy kept up, "You must have an entire cactus shoved up your ass, because you're the biggest prick I've _ever_ had the misfortune of speaking to." He dabbed his mouth with his napkin and folded it neatly.

"Right back at you, you old-man haired fucktard."

"Oh, is that all you've got, Kanda? Tossing my own insult back at me? How _uncreative_…"

"How about I list all the different ways I could kill you right now? Then we'll see who's creative."

"GUYS, _calm down!_"

"Shut the fuck up, Lavi, I'll kill you."

"Please stay out of this, Lavi; I don't want to hurt you."

"_Jesus,_" Lavi moaned, "at this rate we're going to get kicked out of this place…and it's not even the second course!"

- - -

It turned out that they did _not _get kicked out of the restaurant, but that was only because Toma's arrival put a more business feel to dinner, and for all their immaturity, Allen and Kanda were very good when it came to their jobs.

"Well, the Order wasn't happy when I told them we hadn't found anything… but they've issued new instructions," Toma informed, "you'll be proceeding to the second part of the mission, without Cross; that is," he lowered his voice, "the infiltration and destruction of the NOAH base. We're not sure if the base is currently in operation, but it is essential that it's destroyed, regardless." Toma paused to pull a map from the backpack he always wore, moving aside the table décor to spread it out. "It's actually not that big compared to their other factories; just the one building. I'll drive you to this point," he pointed to a road about two blocks away from the circled factory, "just in case they have security measures outside the building, a car is too conspicuous."

"Especially the bank accounts on wheels that you make us use," Kanda grumbled.

"I'm sorry they displease you, Kanda-san…"

"Oh don't bother apologizing to that guy, Toma-san," Allen said sweetly, "he just needs a reason to bitch at people."

"Why you little… how about I take this butter knife and shove it--"

WHACK.

"Thank you Marie, they totally deserved that," Lavi applauded, as Marie sat back down, having dealt the two teens swift slaps to the back of their heads.

"_Ano…_" Toma looked between Allen and Kanda, "did something happen?"

- - -

"I don't know what's gotten into me, Marie-san," Allen sighed later that night back in their suite, "I always prided myself on my good manners, but it's like I can't help myself when it comes to Kanda…he gets under my skin like no one else I've ever met."

"Well, he does have that effect on people," Marie allowed.

"It's like, I'll talk to him for one second, right? And he's almost polite, almost _friendly_, and for a bit I can see through that cold exterior he puts up, I swear I can. He's-- he's like _no one_ I've ever met before. I can tell that, even from a glance. He's brash and foul and full of closed doors and walls, but then he surprises me, and for that instant I can picture him smiling and he's _bea-_" Allen abruptly stopped his breathless rambling and turned a shade of pink. He groaned softly and leaned against the wall, hitting the back of his head against it repeatedly. "But then he's a jerk again, and I just…crack. _God he gets under my skin_…"

"Can I ask what happened?" Marie asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"He was being an ass about me talking to this guy in a restaurant, and he wouldn't leave it alone," Allen replied off-handedly, "and he was snappy and rude, and I couldn't really put up with it anymore…though I really shouldn't have said I hated him," he added as a quiet after thought. "Oh well, not like he cares anyway…"

"Allen…I can't tell you that you shouldn't hate him, because frankly, most sane people who meet him do, but you've got to understand: he's a complicated person. And he's even more complicated to deal with when he himself is confused about his own feelings," Marie explained.

"His _feelings_? Marie-san, he's said he doesn't like me repeatedly. I might have… no, I do like him, but I don't think I should even bother trying to get to know him anymore. He doesn't exactly appreciate the effort," Allen looked away and murmured, "But even with that, I can't bring myself to _hate_ him, even if he hates me."

"Kanda uses hate to block out things he doesn't want to think about. He's not all that bad, honestly."

"I'm sorry, Marie-san, but I don't think I can complete the request you had for me at the funeral. I was just filling in for Lenalee anyway. She's a lot better at handling people like Kanda…and it doesn't look like he needs the comforting at the moment, in any case." Allen sighed heavily and headed off to his room, leaving Marie in the living room with a disappointed expression on his face.

"Allen…I still think you could do it…I just wish you weren't giving up so soon."

- - -

Lavi was worried.

It was already 4:15 (they left for their mission at 5:00), and Kanda was not up. In all his years of knowing the Japanese Exorcist, Kanda had never once been late to a mission. And yet here he was, still presumably asleep, even with only an hour before their departure.

"Yuu… hey, Yuu, are you up?" he called, knocking loudly on his friend's bedroom door. "Er, it's already 4:00…"

"Shut the fuck up, stupid rabbit," Kanda's voice snapped from inside, "…just go down without me. Like hell I'll take a shower while you're up, anyway…"

"…okay…see you downstairs, then…" Lavi sighed as he left their room. It seemed like Kanda was avoiding something…

As he entered the breakfast area, empty except for one table, where a certain white-haired Exorcist sat, Lavi shook his head. Yeah- avoiding something, or _someone._

"Oh, good morning Lavi, you're down early," Allen commented as Lavi took a seat across from him, "how did you sleep?"

"Fine, fine, but tell me something, Al. What the hell happened last night?!"

"Ah…well, long story short, he was being a complete ass, so I've decided to stop wasting my time and his by trying to be extra-friendly," Allen took a long gulp from his coffee, "so from now on, if he wants to be a jerk, I'm not going to make a fool of myself and look the other way." He smiled.

"Er…that's good, I guess? But you know--"

"Lavi, Marie-san already talked to me about Kanda. If you want the truth, I do like him, really. It's just that I won't be walked over like this. I'm not going to waste my efforts trying to be his friend if he doesn't want me to."

"…Alright, since you've decided, I guess I've got no place in telling you what to do," Lavi said reluctantly, "though I will say that if you two could try and keep your spats to a minimum, it sure would help the atmosphere of the team, ya know?"

"Take it up with Kanda, he always starts it."

"And you're 100 percent guilt free, fucking beansprout?"

"Well if it isn't the King of Bad Personalities himself," Allen drawled, setting his cup down, "good morning, your highness."

"Yeah, fuck you too."

Lavi sighed in exasperation.

- - -

Though the morning's greeting did not mark the end of Kanda and Allen's bickering, the two had the sense to stop when Toma arrived with the car.

"Move over, fat ass," Kanda hissed as they slid into the car (smaller than the almost limo-sized one they'd arrived in), despite the fact there was enough room.

"That's not even worth honoring with a response," Allen snorted.

"But you just did," Kanda smirked, and Allen gave an annoyed _hmph _and glared out the window.

Okay, so at least they kept it to a minimum.

Toma briefed them on the layout of the building as they drove, which served to break up the awkward and slightly murderous silence between Kanda and Allen. When they pulled up against the street where Toma was to drop them off, the scout heaved a metal briefcase from under his seat.

"Ah, before you go, these are the latest weapons by the Order…" he undid the series of locks on the front and the case clicked open, revealing four formidable looking guns. "These have different settings… to kill, to paralyze and also smoke bomb bullets," he handed one to each Exorcist. "But please, use them with caution- that's all the ammo you've got."

Kanda clicked the gun into the holster on his belt.

"And that's all the ammo we'll need."

- - -

It didn't _look_ as though the factory was in use; peeling paint, crumbling front walls and overgrown weeds in the pavement suggested little had occurred at the place in a long while.

"Not exactly the most charming place, huh?" Lavi commented as the four of them surveyed their destination from across the street, in the shadows of a rundown brick building.

"Good," Allen said with a smile, "then I won't feel bad about destroying it. Let's go."

Inside was worse than the façade, with pieces of walls and ceiling completely torn off in some areas, water dripping from the ceiling and a horrible dank, dark smell that made you feel like you'd just shoved a fish up your nose. What used to be a reception desk had lost two legs, causing it to stand slanted against the wall. There were two doors on either side of the room.

"This is where we split up," Marie said quietly, "the actual plant is to the left- Allen and I will go down there to see if we can find any machines still working," Allen nodded- Cross was a scientist after all, and the seventeen year old had dabbled in some experiments himself. "Kanda and Lavi, you two go down the right, which is where the administration section is…call us at once if you find anyone. The golems should work in here. Last thing: here," Marie took out three clear cylinders filled with saucer-shaped black objects and handed them to the others, "these are what we'll use to detonate the place from the outside when we've finished investigating. Place them on any walls that look like supporting ones."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Lavi rubbed his palms together, "now time to kick some NOAH ass."

And everything would have gone perfectly according to plan, if an unexpected tremor hadn't shaken the building at that very instant, causing the already weak ceiling above them to crumble over their heads and suddenly _collapse_—

Kanda didn't think.

He saw two things:

a chunk of ceiling with rusty pipes jutting out falling as though in slow motion, and…

…_Allen._

Kanda didn't think, just acted. For some reason Allen was immobile (not even_ looking_ at the thing about to crush him) and Kanda _lunged._ He grabbed the boy's arm and flung him aside on the ground, and still Allen _did not move_, he didn't even _react_, and Kanda swore as he leaned over the younger, shielding him from the debris still cascading around them in a sort of sick waterfall of dust and dirt and destruction.

Kanda felt something scrape his shoulder, tearing his coat, and something else cut his face. A large piece of the ceiling collided with his back and he gave a breathless _oof!_ His forehead collided with Allen's, and for a minute his world was blurry.

When the ceiling stopped spilling its guts on them, Kanda heard Lavi's voice from…somewhere.

"Yuu! Allen! Are you two okay?!"

"I'm fine," Kanda yelled back, throat dry from all the shit he'd inhaled, "I've got the beansprout here, but he's not awake."

"Not awake?! Is he okay?!" Lavi's voice spiked in distress, "Where are you?"

Kanda raised himself slowly, trembling slightly as he readjusted his balance. He and Allen were on the right side of the room, and there was practically a wall of debris between them and where Lavi's voice was coming from. He began pulling chunks away from the newly formed barrier until he could see through.

"Oi, Lavi, over here."

"Yuu! Where's Allen?"

"Over there. He's still breathing. Tch…about this wall--"

Marie sighed, "Change of plans. We could move all this debris, but that'd take too long… and we don't know what these rusty pipes have in them. This was a NOAH factory, after all. So…Kanda, you make sure Allen's okay and then you two go down to the administration ward. Lavi and I'll go to the plant."

"Tch…damn beansprout," Kanda narrowed his eyes, "Can't I just leave him here?"

"No!" Lavi and Marie hissed simultaneously.

"And for more than the obvious reason, Kanda," Marie said, shaking his head, "If by chance a NOAH member finds him, who knows what sort of information they could get about the Order?"

Kanda swore under his breath, but nodded reluctantly.

"Fine. Meeting place?"

"Well…if you can find an exit, do so and we'll meet on the street corner. If not, we'll meet back here in…3 ½ hours. Be on the street or here by 9 o'clock, sharp. If you run into any problems, call on the golems."

"I've got a sneaky suspicion about that tremor…it was a little _too _perfectly timed for it to have been purely coincidental," Lavi said, frowning, "I'm more worried about what you and Allen will find in the administration ward… be careful, Kanda--"

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't the first mission I've been on, stupid rabbit." Lavi smiled.

"Just don't make it the last, okay?"

"Tch. Whatever. Just _go_."

"See ya later," Lavi whispered with a quick wave, before he and Marie disappeared in the dark corridor.

Kanda turned back to Allen, grumbling as he knelt down beside the white-haired Exorcist.

"Freaking beansprout," he checked his pulse at the neck and sighed in annoyance, "wake up or I'll leave you, no matter what those two say." Kanda glared at the still unresponsive teenager. "Wake up!" he grabbed Allen's cheek between his thumb and index finger and pinched, hard.

"A-Ah, ow!" Allen woke with a start, and began coughing.

"Tch. _Finally_."

"K-Kanda?" Allen rasped, cupping the offended cheek with his palm. He sucked in a large breath of air noisily and his eyes widened in realization. "The ceiling…it was about to…I thought…" he turned his shocked gray eyes on Kanda, "…you…you saved me, Kanda," he breathed out, and he was so close that the warm air fanned across Kanda's cheeks. "Why?" He asked, like a child asking why the sky was blue.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kanda snapped, standing quickly and dusting himself off. "Tch. Can't even take care of yourself, stupid beansprout. Now come on, we've lost enough time as it is."

Allen blinked and his eyes retained the curious glint for a moment, before he nodded, lips twitching upwards and cheeks a delicate pink.

"Alright."

* * *

A/N: Ooh, and so the mission begins... how interesting... (I hope).

Okay, so I know it may seem like Allen changes his mind like way-quick, but understand that Allen really does like Kanda (and has unconsious attraction to him) but whenever Kanda's an ass to him, he gets all worked up (probably because he's rather hurt) and that's why he switches to Black-Allen, almost. So yeah, hope that clears anything up a bit.

Sorry this one came a little later than anticipated; I don't like posting chapters until I've got the next chapter at least brainstormed, and I've had a rather sucky week so my inspiration was running low.

Reviews will be used in place of actual heat (my attic is always freezing...). :D


	9. Switch

Authors Note: Yay for action!

Thanks to Alice Melan, Sleeping Moon, Nusku, Wolfie559933, Exorcist-Miranda, Velvet Blindfold, uniFsky, mimicsmaze, Novelist Pup, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, and Ghost of the Crescent Moon for reviewing!

* * *

**SUGAR-FREE**

09 -- _switch _

* * *

"Kanda…you're hurt," Allen said softly, and Kanda could _feel_ the guilt radiating from the other boy, "…it was because you saved me, right?"

"What does it matter?" he snapped. When Allen's guilty aura only deepened, Kanda added, "I've had worse."

They walked in silence for the next few minutes, moving carefully through the dank hallway. There was a faint light ahead of them, and Kanda quickened his pace, until he felt a tug on his sleeve. He whipped around and glared.

"_What._"

"I…I'm sorry!" Allen blurted, bowing suddenly enough to make Kanda step back and blink in confusion.

"What the hell? I _told_ you it doesn't matter--"

"Not about that," Allen interrupted, "…I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I…don't hate you."

There was something about those four words that made Kanda feel uncomfortable (or was it discomfort at the relief?), and he frowned uneasily and fumbled for his words more than usual.

He settled for grinding out: "Wh-Why would I care about that,_ dumbass?_" and avoiding Allen's gaze.

"I knew you wouldn't, you jerk, I just _thought_--"

"Forget it. We're on a mission, this isn't the time for your whining," Kanda said firmly, walking ahead so he wouldn't have to look at Allen, "now keep up or I'll leave you behind."

- - -

The light was coming from a room where pieces of the ceiling had already caved in. There was nothing left in the room except cracked walls, broken glass and dust. As Kanda turned back to see if there was another hallway they could follow, since this one was obviously a dead-end, Allen called him back.

"Look. Isn't that strange?" he murmured, pointing to a corner of the room in shadow. Kanda squinted his eyes and then narrowed them in suspicion.

It was a door, unscathed with a twinkling golden frame and crisp black and red checkered paint.

Allen was already making his way towards it, so Kanda followed cautiously, avoiding the debris as they made their way across the room. Upon closer inspection, not only was the door merely unscathed, it was also glossy and looked as though it had been installed yesterday. What more, there was a tiny amount of white light that escaped from the bottom and sides. How strange indeed.

"I'll open it," Kanda offered (or demanded). The door swung open easier than he anticipated, and noiselessly. They blinked their eyes in shock while shielding them from the intense light that flooded their senses.

_What the hell?_

It was as though they had entered a different building altogether; everything was striking white and clean and it smelled sort of like a mix between wet paint and a surgical ward. There was a dull hum of computers down the hallway.

"What _is_ this place?" Allen whispered next to him.

"…so I guess the NOAH factory is still operating," Kanda said grimly, "Be quiet, there are probably people here."

They hurried silently down, passing room after white room of computers and boxes.

"It looks like they're moving," Allen commented, "Everything's packed up except the computers. But where are the--"

Kanda cut him off by slapping a hand over his mouth and pulling him into the nearest dark room with a half-open door. He shoved him in the corner behind the door and pressed against him, resting his chin on Allen's shoulder so he could look through the space in the door hinges to see out into the hallway.

"Someone's coming," he breathed as an explanation when Allen squirmed and tried to mumble something. "Shut up."

Kanda was right; not a minute after they had hidden did the hallway fill with the scent of cigarette smoke…a very familiar brand too…

"See, Rhode, I _told_ you. There's no one here."

Tyki Mikk blew out a puff of smoke and sighed.

Allen's face drained of color when he recognized the voice, and he looked sharply at Kanda with an alarmed expression. Kanda pushed his hand against Allen's mouth tighter, a gesture for him to stay calm and _silent_.

"But I _know_ that door opened, Tyki," a much younger female voice spoke, "I've already started destroying the old part of the building after I heard those strangers enter, but I'm not positive they're gone. So just look around some more, okay?"

"_Hai, hai_," Tyki agreed lazily, and one set of footsteps disappeared in the opposite direction. Tyki leaned against the wall and toyed with his cigarette for a moment – it felt like hours – before he shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled down the hall, exiting from the checkered door Kanda and Allen had entered through.

Sensing Tyki's departure, Allen pried Kanda's hand off his face and sucked in a breath.

"_Bloody hell,_" Allen gushed, "I can't believe… it's _him_…"

"_Now _do you believe me when I told you he was a sketchy bastard?" Kanda spat, "Tch. I can't believe you. You played strip poker with a fucking NOAH."

"It was just poker, Kanda," Allen corrected with a heavy undertone of annoyance, but he calmed himself and sighed, acknowledging defeat. "_Fine_, you were right, but now what? Should we contact Lavi and Marie-san?"

"First we find somewhere more secure," Kanda said, poking his head out of the room and checking the hallway was clear. "Hurry, beansprout."

Kanda deemed a large closet filled with dusty boxes and seemingly unused brooms and mops to be 'safe'. He perched upon one of the stacks of boxes, hand clenched around his gun. Allen slumped on the floor and fished around in his coat for a moment before pulling out Cross' golden golem. The golem shook itself awake and fluttered its wings, looking expectantly up at Allen.

"Call Lavi and Marie-san, Tim," Allen whispered, and Kanda resisted the urge to snort at the pet name.

Tim opened his mouth, and Kanda held a mixture of shock and disgust for the pointy little teeth the golem revealed. Lavi's voice fuzzed into audibility a moment later.

"Yo, Allen!" Lavi greeted, and Kanda was glad Allen had been thoughtful enough to turn the golem's volume down. "Nice to see you're awake! Didja guys find anything?"

"Yes, actually. Er… remember when I told you I had lunch with some guy the other day? Yeah…well he turned out to be a NOAH. And he's here, with some other kid called Rhode…"

"Where are you two now?" Marie's voice cut in, "Lavi, stop laughing," he added.

"Ha-ha, Allen, I can't believe you, you little rascal, having a lunch date with a _NOAH_! Ha-ha!"

"Shut the hell up, Lavi," Allen growled, "It wasn't a _date_!"

"More importantly," Marie raised his voice, effectively shutting the two bickering teens up, "Allen, _where are you and Kanda now_?"

"In a broom closet."

"…ha-ha-ha! A broom closet! With _Yuu_! Ha-ha, isn't that just _soo_--"

"Lavi, don't _make_ me shut you up," Marie warned before speaking to Allen again, "A little more specific please?"

Kanda snatched Tim from Allen.

"We're in a different section of the building. We went down the hallway and found a door to an area that's currently in use. It looks like they're moving out now. There are at least two confirmed NOAH members here and a shitload of boxes and computers. And one of the NOAH bastards was talking about destroying the building."

"Kanda, huh? Okay, well, make sure you avoid those NOAH members at all costs, but put the detonators I gave you anywhere you can. Don't go in too far, you two. We've never had any interaction with actual NOAH people before so we don't know what to expect," Marie cautioned. "It looks like you're right about the moving assumption, Kanda… the entire laboratory looks like it's been cleaned out. There's nothing left here."

"Then the question is where are they going?" Kanda frowned, "We'll explore a bit more."

"Be care--" _Click._

Kanda tossed the golem back to Allen, who pouted.

"Don't throw Tim like that! And you shouldn't have hung up on Marie-san, that was rude."

"Do you think I give a shit? We're in the middle of a mission, beansprout. Manners don't matter in situations like these," Kanda rolled his eyes while opening the cylinder of detonators and taking one out. He stuck one onto the closet wall (hell if he knew how to tell a supporting wall from a regular wall; weren't all walls supposed to be _supporting_, anyway?...why the hell would you have a wall that wasn't supporting?...besides, an explosion is an explosion) and hopped down from his seat as Allen opened the door.

"Rhode-sama was right!" an electronic voice spoke and Allen and Kanda froze, "Intruders! Intruders! Must delete intruders!"

The disturbingly human-like robot chimed happily as its arms morphed into scythes.

"Delete!"

Kanda automatically reached for Mugen, only to remember he'd left his sword on the bed back at the hotel (he had been distracted that morning, so off-balance). In the second it took for him to grab the gun Toma had given them instead, the robot splintered and ripped, clattering on the floor in a pile of sparking wires and metal. Kanda looked at Allen and his breath hitched.

Allen looked down with an almost sad expression at the remains of the machine, clutching his left arm with his right hand; that is, his left, _entirely metal_ arm. Allen sensed Kanda's stare and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Ah, this is… I was in an accident as a kid…Cross took me into the Order and they fitted me with some experimental technology…it works just like a real arm, but it's more like a weapon," he laughed half-heartedly and held up the appendage. On the side, what Kanda recognized as a gun folded and clicked back into place, and the arm was flawless black metal again.

"You…you could've _told_ me you had something like that," Kanda grumbled, "Tch. I wouldn't have saved your sorry ass if I'd known you could take care of yourself."

Allen looked taken aback at Kanda's lack of a reaction. "Er, sorry about that, then."

"Oh? Well, well, I guess Rhode was right," a silky voice spoke from behind them. "…though I never expected I'd meet you here, _shounen._"

Allen turned slowly and swallowed. So he'd finally found them, huh? He steeled his expression and spoke dryly.

"…Likewise, Mikk."

"Please," Tyki leaned against the wall and a feral grin crept onto his face, "_call me Tyki_."

Kanda turned fully and took on a defensive stance; he raised his gun and pointed it straight at the NOAH's forehead (hey, even if he missed he'd hit _something _vital) and beside him he heard Allen's left arm click and lock. Tyki didn't move, and instead threw his head back and laughed.

"Why so hasty? Taking your time makes the fun last that much longer. Why don't we start with introductions, eh? I am Tyki Mikk, the second eldest member of the Noah family," Tyki bowed while keeping his eyes on the two Exorcists, disturbing grin still up on his handsome face. "I know the cute one is Allen, but I'm afraid I missed your name," he nodded towards Kanda, "the last time we had the pleasure of meeting."

"It's Kanda."

"Tyki Mikk," Allen spoke, "if you're a NOAH, why were you so friendly in that restaurant?"

"What, you expect all NOAH members to be without manners or feelings?" Tyki scoffed, "Come now, Allen, you know we _are_ just regular human beings like yourself."

"Don't compare us, _NOAH_," Kanda snapped, saying the name like an expletive, "you all are a bunch of shitty terrorists."

"You're not human," Allen agreed, "you're like monsters!"

"Define _human_," Tyki replied, smile morphing into something more sinister, "I breathe, I have a beating heart, my skin is as warm as yours…" in the same instant he spoke that sentence he was in front of Allen, laying a hand on the teenager's cheek, "tell me, Allen: _do I feel like a monster?_"

Kanda growled and was about to shoot (fucking beansprout, what the hell was he doing--) when Allen's arm seemed to move of its own accord, pointed black fingernails changing into metal claws, nearly scratching Tyki as he leapt back, laughing again.

"This is where the fun begins. But do tell me about that arm of yours before I destroy it."

"Like hell! Don't fuck with me," Allen half-shouted, clenching his human fist, "I can't understand you, Tyki Mikk. If you're human, why do you want to kill innocent people?!" The gun on the side of Allen's arm loaded itself as he aimed.

"Because it's the _humane _thing to do," Tyki replied with a shrug, "This world needs to be purified. Though I will be sad to see you go, Allen. What a pity you're going to die here."

"Think again," Kanda hissed, "the only one who's gonna die here is you, bastard."

"We shall see, we shall see," Tyki sang, eyes narrowing as his pupils expanded and a bloodthirsty expression took over his features. He slid the sleeve of his shirt up to the elbow, revealing something like armor on his arm; he pushed a button on the side and suddenly there was a whirr and the device emitted neon pink lasers. Kanda would have laughed at the sheer girly-ness of it, if Kanda had been the type of person who laughed and if they hadn't been in the middle of battle, and if those freaky lasers didn't look so deadly, despite their color.

"_Saa, shounen,_ let's go."

* * *

A/N: Okay, quick translation for people who don't know... _shounen_ means boy, which is what Tyki calls Allen in the Japanese anime.

BTW, chapter is thus named because Tyki's character sort of 'switches'. :D Ooh, how deep.  
...that and I had the song _Switch_ by Will Smith on repeat when I wrote this. 8D

Updates... um, don't expect one soon, sorry! This week is really busy (gah, PSAT) and I'll be out of town for the entire weekend. In fact, I wasn't even going to post this chapter since I hate posting chapters without having the next one brainstormed... BUT, I knew I wasn't gonna be able to update till at least next week so I felt bad.

Please excuse any typos; I didn't have as much time to edit this one. Hope you enjoyed.

Reviews will be used as anti-depressants because life is not fun right now. D:


	10. Noise

Authors Note: This chapter and me aren't quite happy with each other. Oh well.

Thank you very much for the lovely reviews: Alice Melan, Nusku, Novelist Pup, Velvet Blindfold, Lapica, mimicsmaze, Wolfie559933, uniFsky, Exorcist-Miranda, Sleeping Moon, BoREdom mAnIFEsT, imhappynessinabottle, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, nataeiy1, YugiKitten, Freakingcage7, Niki-Uni, Shinigami Hunter and Xiao Yue Er.

* * *

**SUGAR-FREE**

10_ -- noise_

* * *

"The beansprout's not the only one you have to worry about, fucker," Kanda ground out, annoyed at Tyki's obvious focus on Allen.

"Eager to die, are we?" Tyki replied, amused, "Don't worry; you'll get your turn."

Tyki was _fast_. Allen had his mechanical arm to thank for his life; Tyki blurred in and out of sight with every blink, and were it not for his arm's built in defense system, Allen would have been dead in a matter of seconds.

"What's wrong _Allen_?" Tyki asked as he slammed the side of his armor against Allen's arm, "You seem to be a much better card player than a soldier."

"Don't ignore me, bastard!" Kanda yelled, and Tyki had to jump back to avoid a flying kick to his head. Kanda landed like a cat and quickly fired off a couple shots at Tyki's head, which left smoking holes in the wall when he dodged. "And what the fuck is up with you, beansprout? Is that all you've got?"

"Sorry," Allen said, shaking out his arms, "I was just warming up."

"That's good to hear," Tyki chimed in, "I was feeling rather disappointed."

"Nobody cares what you think," Kanda shot again, and Tyki laughed as he ducked to avoid the bullet. He stopped laughing when Allen fired a sudden shot that grazed his cheek.

"Oh? Are you ready to get serious now, _shounen_?" he asked, and his face was expressionless, as though carved from marble.

"Don't underestimate me," Allen warned as the metal claws on his left hand clicked into place, "I won't hesitate to kill you." He raised the Order issued gun in his other hand.

"You say that, but--" Tyki disappeared from his vision again, and suddenly he was in front of Allen, holding the edge of the lasers at Allen's neck, "--I wonder?"

Allen's left arm lashed out, and the claws ripped through the fabric of Tyki's jacket. Kanda took the momentary lapse in Tyki's defense to shoot, and the bullet whizzed past his arm, ripping the fabric and drawing blood. Allen followed up with a frontal assault, and even if it was rather stupid of him to run straight at the NOAH, it did allow Kanda to actually hit Tyki's arm with his next shot.

"How _noisy_," Tyki murmured, clutching his arm and looking at the blood with a strange expression; he shook his head and a dark look crossed his eyes, "you two will attract quite a crowd at this rate."

"What the hell are you going on about?" Kanda growled. Allen drew in a sharp breath beside him.

"Robots," the younger teen muttered. Kanda looked up when he heard the sound of mechanical flapping and growled again as a small swarm filled the hallway.

"And these ones are my favorite," Tyki informed, catching one of the metal butterflies in his hand, "They're called _Tease_. I wouldn't let them touch you, if I were you." He grinned maniacally and waved the machines onward, "Go on _Tease_; you can have these two. I've grown tired of them." Tyki turned to leave and the swarm closed in around the two Exorcists.

Allen's arm seemed to know what to do: the claws easily speared through the machines. Allen threw them aside just as they exploded.

"Kanda…these things explode on contact be careful--"

"Then you take care of the insects, beansprout," Kanda ordered, "the NOAH bastard is _mine_." Without waiting for a response Kanda leapt at Tyki again.

"Quite a persistent thing, you are," Tyki noted dryly as the laser on his arm whirred into action again, "you know, you'll never get a date if you're so pushy."

"Shut the fuck up."

"_Especially_ with that dirty mouth," the NOAH chastised, shaking his head while dodging a few more shots.

Kanda gritted his teeth and clenched the gun in his hand. There were probably only a few more bullets left… the rest were smoke screens and maybe one round of paralytic…

Tyki's weapon was obviously close range, and Kanda wasn't skilled enough with a gun to dodge frontal attacks of this force _and_ aim…

And the only decent option he had was lying on his hotel room bed…

_Shit. Think…there has to be something…I could take the beansprout's gun? He has another one on his arm after all…_

…_his arm…_

Kanda flipped backwards as Tyki lashed out, skidding across the floor to stand next to Allen. The younger teenager was quickly disposing of the metal annoyances, though it was obvious he was tiring. A couple seemed to have exploded too close for comfort, as a slow trickle of blood dripped from his forehead down across his cheek.

"Oi, beansprout, follow me."

"You have a plan?"

"No, I'm here to discuss the fucking weather. _Obviously._ Just stay close and don't do anything unnecessary."

"Are you two done plotting?" Tyki asked, boredom laced with venom, "You can't start a fight and just leave, _Kanda-san. _You're starting to irk me."

"Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?" Kanda glanced at Allen. "_Now!"_

He ran towards Tyki with a yell, and after making sure Allen was next to him, Kanda threw himself forward.

The whirr of the lasers was muffled under something soft and solid for a silent moment, and Kanda choked and coughed up blood.

"How disappoi--"

Tyki's sigh was cut off by the rip of fabric and flesh. Kanda looked up at his opponent with the deranged grin of a soldier who knows he has paid a heavy price, but does not give a damn because he has _won._ He spat the blood in his mouth onto the floor and let go of Allen's left wrist. Kanda collapsed on the floor in a bloody mess, the laser nearly slicing through his shoulder as he passed it on the way down.

Allen looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. Tyki's violent coughing brought the white-haired boy out of his stupor. He quickly pulled out his left arm from where Kanda had stabbed it into Tyki's chest, but didn't take his eyes off Kanda's barely breathing form even as Tyki slumped against the wall and muttered something angrily.

"K-Kanda…"

His world caught up with him in a rush, and Allen rasped in a breath, fell to his knees and turned Kanda over. He was unconscious and bleeding heavily. Allen's mind was a flutter of anxiety and adrenaline; what should he deal with first? There was Kanda, he was _hurt_, but oh god, _Tyki_--

As if in response, a soft thud signified Tyki's slip into unconsciousness and Allen breathed in short-lived relief. He nudged Kanda fruitlessly for a few moments, biting his lip until it bled. _What was he going to do?!_

"Kanda, wake up…_you idiot, wake up!_ Don't you dare die on me!" Allen spoke in a harsh whisper, fingers splayed out across Kanda's neck in a search for his pulse.

"Tch…" Kanda's eyes opened, though just barely, "like…I'd die…from…something like that."

"You _idiot_, what were you _thinking_?! I can't believe you, you're so--!"

"So what? I did it because I knew you wouldn't have the guts to," Kanda retorted, wincing as he tried moving.

"I-I would have! _Jesus Christ, _Kanda, at least warn me next time before you do something so… so _crazy_! My arm… is hard to…predict, I could have hurt _you_ when you surprised me! You're so _careless_. Look at you now! You're _bleeding_ and--"

"Oi, pipe _down_," Kanda murmured as his eyes drifted shut, "…so…damn…_noisy…_"

Worry took over Allen's features and he paled. He'd seen this before. He couldn't let this happen _again._

"Kanda… Kanda, don't go to sleep…you've got to stay with me…Kanda…!"

_Not again, not again, not again._

_(Why did this always happen to him?)_

_What was he going to do?_

* * *

A/N: Augh, I definitely do NOT want to write another crazy action scene like this one. Sorry I fail. And sorry if I like, killed Tyki's character or something. I only know how to write funny Tyki. Blarrgh.

However, it is necessary for some Allen-kun development. Don't worry, the fluffy stuff is on it's way, but I do want to make sure their characters are y'know, 'ready' for it first.

Speaking of Allen, next chapter will _probably_ be one of his memory sequences, kinda like the previous conversational one for Kanda, but Allen's shall have some other stuff tossed in too... as for when you can expect that... haha, I dunno. Busy-busy week for me (again; god being a junior is just _so much fun_) so maybe on the weekend?

Reviews will be used as motivation, or something.


	11. and Pause

Authors Note: Woo, updating a day earlier than anticipated, go me.

Allen's past comes into the light, at last. Should answer some questions. Once again, italicized and centered stuff are memories and the rest is happening in the present.

Thank you all so very very much for the reviews. I've been sick for the past week and a half and your reviews have cheered me up greatly. :) Thanks especially to Kaza for the motivational rap. You can thank him for this chapter being out early. xD

Nusku, uniFsky, Alice Melan, Sleeping Moon, seaturtlesrox, Velvet Blindfold, Wolfie559933, nataeiy1, Novelist Pup, Niki-Uni, michellehail44, Exorcist-Miranda, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, imhappynessinabottle, mimicsmaze, Freakingcage7, SeikaDragon, random, and Kit turned Mighty: much love to you all!

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**SUGAR-FREE**

11 -- _and pause._

* * *

"_Would you like a balloon, little one?"_

_"What will I do with a balloon? Food would be better app-appree--"_

"_Appreciated?"_

"_Yeah, that's what I said."_

"_Won't your family have food for you?"_

"_Yeah, they would… if I had one. My parent's abandoned me, 'cos I look funny."_

"_You don't look--"_

"_That's 'cos I've got this hood up. Just wait till I take it off, then you'll be screamin' freak just like the rest of 'em!"_

"_Why don't you take it off and we'll see?"_

"…_there. So what, you gonna stand there and laugh? That's pretty mean. It'd be better if you just left."_

"_I don't see anything funny."_

"…_are you blind or somethin'? I've got old-man hair, and this weird scar that I dun even remember gettin'!"_

"_I don't find that funny, and I'm a clown. I know what's funny."_

"…_for real?"_

"_Really."_

"…_hey, what's your name?"_

"_Mana Walker. And you?"_

"_Allen. Hey, you know what?"_

"_What?"_

"_I like you!"_

- - -

"Kanda," Allen rasped, gently nudging the other's shoulder, "Kanda, can you hear me?"

Kanda muttered something indistinct and Allen frowned. He didn't know how long Tyki would be out (if he was still alive, that is) and he didn't know how far he could get carrying Kanda. Who knew when more robots or that other NOAH would show up…

But, he had to try.

Allen was careful in moving his partner; Kanda had already lost a lot of blood, but the wound had stopped bleeding so profusely. He gently put one arm at Kanda's waist and tugged Kanda's arm over his shoulder.

"Hey, are you still with me?" Allen whispered against Kanda's cheek, satisfied when Kanda murmured something and his fingers twitched. As long as he was alive…

Allen made for the closet they had hidden in earlier; it was closest and surely nobody would think to look for them in such an obvious place.

Hopefully.

- - -

_Allen had been born with a strange left arm; it was wrinkly and burned-looking, and for the two years his parents kept him, it got worse and worse. When the doctors declared there was a strange disease in the arm that could spread to his entire body if they did not amputate, his parents paid for the operation and left him at the hospital that same day. He never saw them again._

_His first few years had been hard; it took a lot of time to get rid of the 'phantom arm' sensations, and even longer to get over the insults and teasing he had to endure at the orphanage. At last, a sympathetic nurse at the hospital he and the other children went for their annual checkups ordered a simple prosthetic arm for him. Nothing like the one he would later possess, the arm was made of plastic and stiff joints. He could hardly move his fingers and couldn't make a fist, but it allowed him some mobility and, with the gloves and long-sleeved shirts he wore, it allowed him to keep up the pretense of a real arm. He couldn't hide his hair or the strange scar on his eye, but at least he could hide his gravest flaw from the scrutiny of the world._

_It was only when he met Mana that he willingly showed his defect to another. His heart hammered in his chest as he removed his coat, his brain screaming that it was a mistake, that he was just going to lose everything again, that he was going to make Mana hate him --or worse, run away._

_But Mana did not run. He merely watched, calm even when Allen took off the plastic limb and showed him the remnants of reddish burn around his shoulder. When Allen clicked the arm back in place and was turning to leave, silent tears springing up from what the child thought was Mana's silent betrayal, Mana still said nothing. He pulled Allen into a warm hug, kissed his forehead and murmured _I'm sorry, Allen, so sorry_ into his hair._

_Allen was confused: why was Mana sorry? Why would someone apologize for something so hideous? It wasn't Mana's fault, so why was Mana apologizing and crying and holding him so tightly?_

That's what you do when you love someone_, Mana explained, _it hurts to see them in pain, as though it was your wound, not theirs.

_Love._

_Love seemed silly, made no sense, but it was warm. Mana's arms were warm, and his words and tears were real, and he was still there after everything Allen threw at him, so _he_ was real too. It made Allen feel like crying, but he was happy, so why would he cry?_

_Mana said that was something to do with love too. How _silly_!_

_But Mana was a clown, he was supposed to be silly, and if Allen loved him, then Allen was probably a clown too. That was alright; as long as he had Mana, anything was alright._

- - -

"…_are you leaving now?"_

"_I'm afraid I have no choice. I move with the Circus…"_

"_You don't have to…"_

"_How else will I make a living?"_

"_You could live with me!"_

"_Allen…you know--"_

"_Fine! Forget I said anything! You're jus' like them! Abandoning me!"_

"_Allen, wait."_

"_Lemme go, stupid clown!"_

"_Allen, please don't cry."_

"_I ain't crying! Like I'd c-cry for someone l-like you."_

"_Would you like to come with me, then?"_

"…_what?"_

"_How about it? I can't stay here and live with you, but you can come with me, if you'd like."_

"…_you're not funny."_

"_I'm not joking- I promise. You're like… like the son I never had. I'm quite fond of you."_

"_Fond? Whassat mean?"_

"_It means I like you very much. You said you liked me too, right?"_

"…_yeah…"_

"_Then would you be my son?"_

"…_Son? Like… like you'd be my father?"_

"_Yes."_

"_For real?"_

"_Really."_

- - -

"_Ha-ha, well aren't you just the little freak show, kid?"_

"_Who are you?"_

"_That doesn't really matter to you, squirt. Now where's your 'father' or whatever?"_

"_Don't call me squirt! I'm fourteen, not four!"_

"_Feisty, eh? I like that in a woman, but in a scrawny thing like you it's just annoying. Show some respect to your elders, boy."_

"_I'll show respect to whoever I feel like!"_

"_Allen, who's this?"_

"_Ah, Mana! This guy was looking for you…"_

"…_a General is it? …Allen, go pack up the tent."_

"…_but—okay..."_

"_What do you want, Cross?"_

"_Ah, so you do remember me, you little deserter. Though I can't really blame you for ditching; the Order's full of shit, huh?"_

"_What do you want with me?"_

"_Actually, not with you, Walker. The higher-ups are rather interested in the little brat you've adopted. Allen, was it?"_

"…_you're not taking him."_

"_Hell, I don't want him! Relax, old man, nobody's going to separate you two. The Order just wanted to run some tests, since he survived some weird illness or something. Purely for the sake of records, if you'll believe that."_

"_Tests? You and I both know what tests at the Order involve. I'm not putting him through that."_

"_Hey, for once, I'm just following orders. I don't really care if you come or not, but there is something for you in it too."_

"_What could possibly make me hand my son over to those torturers?"_

"_If you come, they'll fit him with a brand new arm, one that acts just like a human one- maybe even better. It's the newest technology, not even on the market yet."_

"_Allen…would get a real arm?"_

"_Yup. No plastic shit like the junk he's got now. A real, functioning prosthetic arm. It'd make his life a helluva lot easier. And it'd be free. Think about it."_

- - -

Allen pushed aside the boxes and lay Kanda down in the back of the closet. He shrugged off his coat and ripped the sleeves off to tie around Kanda's middle, where the bleeding was the worst. He frowned when he noticed how close the gash was to his heart.

"Hey, Kanda, you owe me a new coat when we get back, okay?" He teased feebly, crawling over next to Kanda's head. He kept a hand at Kanda's neck all the while, making sure his pulse was still there. The blood completely drained from his face when he realized how weak it was. Allen fumbled for Timcanpy in the darkness.

"Tim," he breathed urgently, "_call Lavi_."

- - -

"_Mana, are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine, Allen. How are you? Are you sure you want to do this?"_

"_Mana…they won't leave us alone if I don't, right?"_

"_Of course they would, I just--"_

"_I know what's going to happen, that Cross guy told me everything. I'm… okay, Mana. Just think- when I get a real arm, I can get more jobs! I won't be a burden anymore, I promise."_

"_Allen, you've never been a burden. Don't do this for me. Do it only if you're willing to take the chance."_

"_I've decided already. I don't want to be useless forever. If these people can give me a fresh start, I'll take it!"_

"_Yo, brat, Walker. You're finally here."_

"_Good afternoon, Cross."_

"_Always so polite. You should teach the kid some manners too, Walker."_

"_I've got manners!"_

"_Really? I'd never guess. Now enough talk; come with me, brat. Easy, Walker, don't have a heart attack. I'll bring him back in one piece. Or something."_

"_It's okay, Mana. I want to do this."_

"…_Allen…"_

_- - -_

"_Is Allen Walker still out?"_

"_Yes, Chief Bak."_

"_Good…"_

"_Was there something wrong, sir?"_

"_Not wrong, but very intriguing. The arm we fitted him with is highly experimental… frankly, all the other ones we tried it on…failed, shall we say. But this boy…"_

"_His synchro-rate with the synthetic nerves is impressive."_

"_More than impressive; it should have been impossible. This boy is full of questions."_

"_Do you think it was that illness he had in his childhood that made the nerves more … receptive?"_

"_I haven't the slightest idea…but we're not letting go of this one. He'll be a fine addition to the Order. All that's left is to see if he can move the arm himself; all the connections are there and strong."_

"_If he can… will you report him to HQ?"_

"_Of course. Well… not immediately. He's still a child. Let him have his teenage years at least. We can take him afterwards. He'll be a frightfully good soldier, especially with all the things we can put in his arm…"_

"_Ah! Sir, he's waking up."_

- - -

"_How does it feel, Allen?"_

"_It feels great, Mana… like, I can actually feel that I have an arm! It's not even that heavy, and look! I can make a fist! And move each finger individually! Ha-ha!"_

"_I'm glad you're happy, Allen. My name is Bak Chan. I'm the scientist who developed that arm."_

"_Thank you… for doing this for my son."_

"_Please, think no more of it, Mr. Walker. Now, Allen, could you do the following exercises for me? I want to see how flexible your new arm is…"_

"_Alright."_

"_Were they easy?"_

"_Yup."_

"_No discomfort?"_

"_None at all!"_

"_Amazing…"_

"_Is something wrong, Bak Chan?"_

"_No, no, quite the contrary, Mr. Walker; Allen is doing exceptionally well. Far better than anticipated."_

- - -

Lavi's voice sounded fuzzy in Allen's ears. He raised a hand to touch the spot on his head where he'd been injured and winced.

"Hey, Allen," Lavi repeated, "are you okay?"

"No," Allen whispered, "No. Lavi, Kanda's in _really _bad shape, I-I don't know if we can make it out. We need help."

"Shit, _Yuu_ got hurt?" Lavi was worried now, "What happened? And what about you?"

"We had to fight with a NOAH. I'm okay, for the most part. I've got a nasty cut on my head but that's about it. I think I can make it. But Kanda's been bleeding; I tried to stop it, but…"

"Where'd he get cut?" Marie's voice.

"All along the left side… the guy we fought used lasers and Kanda, the idiot he is, pretty much impaled himself on them… his left shoulder's bleeding pretty badly, and," Allen sucked in a shaky breath, "and I'm not sure if the lasers hit too close to his heart or not…"

Marie sighed in relief.

"That's good--"

"Good!?" Allen had to control his voice from being too loud, "_Good_? Marie, he could _die_, how is that _good_? I just said I don't know if it hit his _heart_!"

"Allen, listen to me. Kanda's got _situs inversus,_ that is, his heart's on the right side. That's how he can afford to get beaten up so much- people naturally aim for the left. As long as his right side's okay, he'll be fine."

Allen blinked slowly and squinted back the tears.

"…that's good, then."

- - -

"_Ah, Allen! Good to see you again! It's been, what, a year?"_

"_Just about, Mr. Bak."_

"_You've…er…grown a bit!"_

"_You don't need to say that to make me feel better."_

"_A-Anyway…ah, Mr. Walker, good to see you as well."_

"_Likewise."_

"_Now, I called you here today because the Order wanted me to test something with your arm. I assure you it's nothing life-threatening or painful. I've just got to make a few adjustments."_

"_Alright!"_

"…_what do these adjustments involve?"_

"_Minor tweaking…rewiring…things like that."_

- - -

"Just hold on," Lavi had said, "we'll be there as soon as we can."

He'd also said something else, but Allen's world was getting dizzy again, and he began to wonder exactly how much blood he had lost thanks to the wound on his head. Timcanpy fluttered around him anxiously.

"I'm fine, Tim," he promised, "just a little tired."

Allen leaned back against the closet wall, fingers dancing across Kanda's neck, briefly tracing his jaw and making his lips twitch. Allen smiled.

"Well, if you're frowning at me, at least you're still okay."

- - -

"_A gun?! You gave my fifteen year old son a _gun_?!"_

"_C-Calm down, Mr. Walker. It's not dangerous to Allen…"_

"_Not dangerous?! It's a bloody gun! How is that not dangerous?"_

"_Oi, Walker, quit freaking out."_

"_Cross – you!"_

"_Yeah, me. Look, he's fifteen, that's older than you were when you became a soldier, and it's old enough for a gun. He's not that much of an idiot to misuse it, I don't think. Or do you have that little faith in the brat?"_

"_Mana…"_

"_Allen, stay out of this."_

"_Mana, I can handle it!"_

"_Allen I said--"_

"_Mana! I'm fifteen! I'm not a kid anymore; I can do this. Besides…I…want to be able to protect my friends and family. I want to be stronger."_

"_So the kid has guts after all. Bravo."_

"_Don't be ridiculous Allen. A gun is not a toy. I don't care if you're fifteen or fifty, I'd rather not see you armed with one."_

"_Mana, I said I can do it. I want to do it, and I will! Don't treat me like a baby! I'm going to be a soldier one day, I know that already!"_

"…_how do you know that? Do you know what you're getting yourself into?!"_

"_It's not like I have a choice. Cross told me…the Order's going to come for me eventually. And if I don't listen… who knows what they'll do to you, Mana. I know… I know that you deserted the Order years ago… and they let it slide for some reason… but if I… if I don't listen to them, something could happen to you."_

"_Allen, be selfish for once! Don't think of me, think of your future!"_

"_I always figured I'd be a soldier or something anyway… I like protecting the things that are dear to me. I…I've felt rather useless all these years. This gives me a purpose, you know?"_

"_You're only fifteen…"_

"_It'll be okay. I'll be okay, Mana."_

_- - -_

Allen blearily opened his eyes as Tim tugged at his hair.

"Huh? When did I… when did I close my eyes?" he murmured, trying to rub the sleepiness from them. "…Kanda…!" His eyes snapped to his still-unconscious companion, and he was relieved to see him breathing somewhat steadily.

"I'm glad…" he sighed weakly, and his eyes drifted close against his will.

- - -

"_This is where you can practice. Don't worry; nobody uses this warehouse anymore so you can destroy it all you want."_

"_Is it safe?"_

"_Ah…of course! The Order wouldn't let a new recruit practice in a place that was dangerous!"_

"_Aw, it'll be fine Mana. I can't wait!"_

"_Allen…just be careful. This is a gun, remember- not a play thing."_

"_I know, I know. Okay, watch me now, Mana!"_

_Boom._

"_Wow. Haha, look, it's almost like a firework, Mana! 'cept it's cement and dust."_

"_Excuse me, how much power is in that gun?"_

"_Chief Bak said it wasn't wired to the maximum but…I believe it's functioning at 85 percent potential."_

"_That's 85 percent?!"_

"_Wonderful, isn't it?"_

"_Ha-ha! Mana, look!"_

"_Allen, don't fire at the ceiling--"_

"_Oops… sorry, Mana, it kind of just fired itself…but look! Isn't it cool? Kinda like rain…"_

_Crack._

"_Mana? What's wrong?"_

"_Allen, _move_!"_

_Breath in--_

"_ALLEN!"_

_--breath out._

_(it's raining, it's pouring)_

_Breath in--_

_Thud._

_--breath out._

_Crash._

"_MANA!"_

_(and he wouldn't wake up in the morning.)_

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A/N: Sorry if that was hard to read. And the ending's kinda morbid, I realize. Well, whaddya expect, death is morbid. :P I just have too much fun writing it...

ANYWAY. Hope it made sense, in the weird format it is in and all. Next chapter is gonna switch back to focusing on Kanda, since he is my favorite to write. :3 And he is the main character of this little story.

Situs inversus is a REAL medical condition, where all the organs are 'flipped', so one's heart is on the right side along with everything else that's usually on the left side. Cool, huh? :D

Reviews will be used as Kleenex that don't burn my nose. -A-


	12. Blink

Authors Note: Owaa, 186 reviews, you all make me so happy.

Sorry this is a little later than usual; life happens, ya know?

Thanks to YugiKitten, NovelistPup, Nusku, Alice Melan, Wolfie559933, Freakingcage7, Velvet Blindfold, Ghost of the Crescent Moon, Sleeping Moon, Lala-tan, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Winged Golden Tiger, Exorcist-Miranda, Lily Hana, mimicsmaze, artist-girl731, uniFsky, Niki-Uni, Kit turned Mighty and Random for reviewing!

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**SUGAR-FREE**

12 -- _blink_

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Kanda woke to darkness. His eyes flashed as he quickly surveyed his surroundings, and he tried to move-- only to slump back down after the stab of pain from his chest. _Where am I…? _It was then that he noticed the hand curled against his cheek, and his gaze fell on Allen.

_Beansprout…_

Allen's face was stained with blood and exhaustion, and the fingers against Kanda's skin felt cold. Ignoring the shooting pain, Kanda sat up, removing Allen's hand from his face but keeping it clasped in his own.

"Oi, beansprout," he muttered, "wake up." He poked Allen's forehead and the teen gasped to life.

"K-Kanda!" Allen's eyes threatened to fall out of their sockets in surprise, "Kanda, you're…you're _awake_…you're _alive!_"

"Of course. Who'd die from something like that?" Kanda scoffed. When Allen didn't respond, he looked up and followed Allen's curious gaze to their connected hands. Kanda dropped Allen's hand like it was on fire and coughed. "Did you call Marie and the idiot?"

Allen nodded. "Yeah, they said they'd get here as soon as possible," he frowned as Kanda attempted to stand. "Kanda, you shouldn't be moving. You lost a _lot_ of blood."

Kanda ignored him, grunting a little as he held onto the wall for support. Allen scowled.

"Kanda. Stop moving, and lie down!"

"Shut up beansprout," he snapped hoarsely, "I'm fine."

"_Fine?_ You have a bloody gash across half your body; I don't think that's _fine_. I had to carry you here, because you passed out thanks to the pain. I hardly consider you to be _fine_, Kanda!"

"…I didn't ask for your help," was all Kanda could come up with. Allen sighed and stood.

"Well, I'm giving it to you _anyway_." He placed both hands on Kanda's shoulders. "Now lie back down or I'll be forced to make you."

"Tch. Like you could ma-- oof!"

Allen allowed the tiniest of smug smiles as he straddled Kanda's waist (making sure to hold himself up on his knees) and held his arms down.

"What the _hell_," Kanda hissed, glaring up at Allen, "so I can't _stand_, but it's alright for you to fucking tackle me?"

"I didn't _tackle _you. It was just a push in the right direction. Besides, I made sure your head didn't hit the floor, didn't I?" Allen replied, smile widening. Kanda's eyes narrowed and he began to say something else when Allen's eyes slipped out of focus again, and the teen fell forwards, barely catching himself on his arms, holding himself above Kanda, almost nose to nose.

"What the hell? Are you sure _you _didn't hit your head, beansprout?" Kanda said, uncomfortable with the sudden proximity of Allen's face. "Get the fuck off me if you want to faint."

"I-I'm fine," Allen said slowly after a moment, "I just…felt a little dizzy, that's all."

"You fucking _idiot_. You're here ranting about my health when you're just as beaten up. Get off me and go lie down, stupid."

Perhaps if they had both been in better shape, been more aware, less preoccupied with their injuries (and each other?) they would have seen the door crack open, and a sharp golden eye observing them. As it was, they didn't notice until the door swung open completely, revealing a young girl with spiky blue-black hair in a lacy bloodstained shirt.

"Well, well, I do hope I'm not interrupting something," she said sweetly, though her eyes spelled murder, "Now. You two wouldn't happen to be the nasty people who hurt Tyki, _would you_?"

Allen was up in a flash (discreetly leaning against the wall as his head started spinning) and Kanda, though still on the floor, found his gun and aimed it. The girl laughed shrilly.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, amused, "Like you could fight me in that pitiful state," her ochre eyes narrowed infinitesimally, "…like you could win."

"Tch!"

"He might not be able to, but I can."

The girl's attention turned to Allen, who stepped in front of Kanda and flexed the claws on his left hand. She smiled slowly.

"_Allen_, huh?" she put a finger on her lips and gave him a once-over, "I can _totally_ see why Tyki likes you. You're so cute!" she cooed grinning, "And that arm…how interesting…"

"…so he's still alive?" Allen frowned and the girl's eyes flashed.

"Of course he's alive," her tone was completely different now: sharp and venomous, "there's no _way_ you two could kill Tyki, even with your valiant self-sacrifice," she spoke dryly, looking at Kanda with a smirk. "…want to know why? It's because in the end you're just two pathetic humans. Sorry, Allen," she added, the irritating smile back on her face, "…but you could never defeat Tyki. Of course… that doesn't mean you're off the hook. See, I don't really like it when people mess with my family," her eyes acquired a cruel gleam, "so I'm going to dispose of you two here."

"Family? Who are you?" Allen asked, "…you're just a little girl…I'd rather not fight you."

"Rhode Kamelot of the Noah family," she gave a dainty curtsy, "and if you hold back thinking I'm a child, you'll be dead before you blink. But you know," she quirked her head, "it looks like Tyki beat you up pretty badly too, Allen. Look at you, shaking like that!" She giggled and Allen bit his lip hard and attempted to steady his hand.

"That doesn't matter," he replied stiffly, causing Rhode to smile.

"You're right, it doesn't. So, are you ready?" She didn't wait for an answer, leaping gracefully into the air, almost ballerina-esque, disappearing out of Allen's sight for a moment and then suddenly throwing her forehead against his (when did she move so close?!), laughing when he cried out and fell backwards.

Allen's eyes were clouded, his vision swirling not with stars, but like a kaleidoscope of blood and golden eyes and the clawing darkness. His head _throbbed_ and he could feel the wound reopen, blood trickling down the side of his face, making him feel hot and cold at the same time. He was on his knees, and Rhode was watching him, clearly amused. His left hand flexed, claws shivering in anticipation of battle, but the human part of Allen was already defeated.

"The _Tease_ sure did a number on you, _ne_?" Rhode asked, squatting down before him, resting her head on her palm, "you know, apart from exploding on contact, they also have a paralyzing substance in them. You wouldn't have happened to touch one, right Allen?" Her grin widened to maniacal proportions when Allen heaved in a breath, shuddering as his head continued to spin and his human arm started tingling, cold.

"Oh, Allen--" Rhode cut off in a hiss as a bullet whizzed past her face, leaving a thin cut along her cheekbone. "You're still conscious?" she glared at Kanda, who was panting just from firing a gun. This wasn't good, he couldn't hold out in this condition… The wound at his shoulder reopened and Kanda gasped, dropping the weapon with an echoing clang.

Rhode gave a dry smile at his weakness and rose elegantly. She leaned down and placed two fingers under Allen's chin, tilting his head up.

"I'm sorry Allen, it must hurt, right? To be unable to fight back… or even save your friend."

"Don't…" Allen breathed, and it was the only thing he could get out; the cold was spreading to his legs and torso now, and all his effort went into staying awake.

"Don't?" Rhode smiled gently, "Okay. I won't do anything." Kanda let out a noise of disbelief. "No, I'm serious. I won't do _anything_. I'm going to leave you two here until you," she pointed a long finger at Kanda, "die of blood loss, and Allen passes out and stops breathing. But _I_ won't do anything. How's that, Allen?" She traced his features slowly, resting her fingers on Allen's lips. "…but I will give you something to remember me by," she breathed, "_Allen_."

Kanda choked as Rhode leaned forward and kissed Allen, hard.

When she let go of Allen's face he slumped backwards, collapsing against the wall. Rhode giggled again, eyes glinting with malice.

"Bye-bye!" she waggled her fingers in farewell and danced out the door, locking them in the darkness.

Kanda could still hear her outside the door; she was fumbling with the knob, probably trying to destroy it just in case they survived long enough.

_How could this happen…losing in a place like this…_

_There has to be something… we can't die here…_

_Isn't there anything…I can do_

_there has to be…something…!_

Kanda frantically searched his coat for the detonator, sliding closer to where Allen had fallen.

In doing so he pulled the remaining bombs out, and threw them against the door. Rhode paused outside and cracked the door open.

"What was that?" she narrowed her eyes. "_Mou,_ I can't believe you're still--"

_Click._

The rest of her voice was drowned out in the explosion, and Kanda quickly pulled Allen down so his face was shielded from the blast. He heard Rhode's scream, the crash of tile and the splintering of wood, and was relieved to hear Allen's shallow breathing next to his ear. A tower of boxes toppled over onto them, and Kanda would have hissed in pain if he'd had the energy. The dust skewed his vision, and the last thing he saw was the cracking ceiling and the bright white light from the hallway.

"Kanda!"

_Was someone calling him?_

"Kanda…" Allen's voice was barely audible over everything else, but he was close enough that Kanda caught his name on the exhaled breath.

Kanda would've liked to tell the bean to shut up, but all he could manage was a soft, "_Ssh,_" and a tighter grip around the smaller teenager before his world slipped into darkness again.

"Kanda, Allen!"

* * *

A/N: Well, looks like Kanda was smart in putting those bombs in a closet earlier, huh? No worries, no worries peeps, the main characters can't die or nothin'...

But this is probably the last "action-y" chapter for a while. Life gets calmer (and fluffier, for those who are waiting) after this.

As a side note, I've got another ficlet up called _Ace of Cakes_ which is also AU Yullen but more humorous and to-the-point with the fluffiness if you'd like to check it out. ;D

And to cap it off...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN. In advance. (Anyone cosplaying instead of traditional costumes?)

Reviews will be used as Halloween candy since I'm 'too old for trick-or-treating'. :D


	13. Skeletons in the Closet

Authors Note: I think I like this chapter as much as I do solely because of the title...

Happy Election Day, everyone. This here's a present from me. Enjoy. :D

Thanks to (holy fucking shitcakes, 212 reviews?! I love you guys) Ghost of the Crescent Moon, Nusku, Novelist Pup, mimicsmaze, Akara Aryam Akanoma, ramenluv, darkbrokenreaper, Anime-Mastah (twice, lol), Alice Melan, Velvet Blindfold, Exorcist-Miranda, Freakingcage7, michellehail44, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Metheor, random, uniFsky, Bloody Kitten, Kit turned Mighty, Crispy Rice, Ashe Seraphim, imhappynessinabottle, Nadramon, and Asa Ayame for reviewing! Sorry I haven't replied yet (do you guys like replies, just curious?) but I'll get around to it eventually.

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**SUGAR-FREE**

13_ -- skeletons in the closet_

* * *

_There was probably a loud splash as he fell into the water but he didn't hear it. His world was inky navy, though that hadn't changed much from the thick darkness above. The water surface rippled the sky but it was hard to tell where one stopped and one began…_

_The roots reached out and grabbed him, held him down. They were slimy and thin, clutching his arms, tangling themselves with him in an effort to coax him to stay. He could smell them all around him; the sickly sweet perfume had seeped into the water, or maybe it was so embedded into his senses he could even smell it underwater…_

_He struggled with the lotus roots for what felt like ages. The bubbles around him slowed before his eyes and the water played with his long hair like a mothers hands. He couldn't feel the bottom anymore, though if that was because he was unconsciously treading water or because he was going numb, he couldn't tell. His vision shrunk around him, his eyes begged to close, and he put all of his strength into one last jump._

_He burst through the surface of the pond and it felt like shattering glass. The lotus flowers shivered in the ripples._

"_Akuma…!" he cried out, whirling in all directions and panting hard._

_A hand reached out to him through the darkness and he stumbled in the water._

"_Take my hand."_

"_Doko…akuma…?" he choked out, eyes frantic in the dark. He found the face of the offered hand and stared. The man's face softened._

"_He can't hurt you anymore."_

- - -

Kanda didn't like hospitals. They smelled funny, were full of sick people in all senses of the word, and the employees seemed to have a great desire for poking and prodding in awkward places.

"Jesus, Yuu, stop moving or I'll tell them to sedate you again!"

Kanda ground his teeth and glared daggers at Lavi.

"It's been a fucking week; I want to go _home--_" the Exorcist attempted sliding out of his bed again, and this time Lavi was joined by Marie in firmly securing him down.

"Don't make me tie you there, Kanda, you know I'll do it," Marie threatened and Kanda almost-pouted.

"I'm _fine_, dammit! I'm awake and responsive, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you weren't conscious for _three days_. Just take it easy, okay?" Kanda opened his mouth to retaliate when Marie continued, "…I don't want to lose the rest of my family."

"_Tch_, fucking _nuisance_…" Kanda grumbled a moment later, crossing his arms (but he did relax and lean against the headboard).

Lavi pulled up a chair by Kanda's bed and slumped in it, making Kanda scowl when he put his feet up on the bed. Marie leaned against the wall to better watch the T.V (in vain, for the programs were all in Japanese). When it was obvious neither of them was going to say anything, Kanda growled.

"So can _someone_ tell me what the hell happened in the factory?"

"The nurses said it wouldn't be good for your mental health," Lavi recited dutifully, "They said you're in a very _delicate_ condition."

Kanda grabbed Lavi by the collar and narrowed his eyes.

"Use me and delicate in a sentence again and there'll be nothing delicate about the way I'll shove my foot up your ass. Now tell me what happened."

"I'm totally going to tell the nurse to give you some happy pills," Lavi said, rubbing his neck when Kanda released him, "you're so _bitchy..._at least, when you're not with Allen." He stuck his tongue out and danced out of Kanda's reach when the other lunged for his throat.

"Stop changing the subject, stupid rabbit!" Kanda barked, and Marie sighed.

"We already told you the essential parts- Lavi and I found you two passed out in the rubble just after you set off the bombs. There was one other body, that female NOAH, but she was under all the dust so we couldn't tell for sure. Lavi and I got you two out and Toma was waiting for us with an ambulance, you two were checked into the hospital's VIP ward and you didn't wake up for three days. That's pretty much it."

"…so where's the beansprout?"

Lavi laughed somewhat uneasily. "Heh…you remember that General Cross guy who we were supposed to find? Well, he found us instead."

- - -

"So you're Tiedoll's kid, huh?"

"I'm not his son," Kanda replied stiffly.

"You were to him," Cross stated seriously, and for a second Kanda's emotionless mask faltered. Cross grinned. "So that does get to you, eh?"

Kanda scowled. "Who the hell are you?"

"Kanda!" Lavi burst into the room, looking thoroughly vexed. "_Jesus Christ_ I leave you alone for _one minute_ and you're running around the hospital!"

"You should listen to your babysitter, boy," Cross commented as he lit a cigarette (completely ignoring the _Do Not Smoke In Hospital _sign behind him). "You looked like shit when they wheeled you in, even worse than my stupid apprentice," he drew in a long breath, "pretty stupid of you to protect him. He ain't worth it."

"Ah, General Cross," Lavi nodded in recognition.

"_You're_ the General?" Kanda asked with an undertone of disbelief. "That beansprout's master?"

"Beansprout? What kind of shitty nickname is that?" Cross scoffed, puffing out a ring of smoke, "But yeah, I'm that idiot's master. What of it?"

"Where is he?"

"Worried?" the general taunted, dropping ash on the floor, "He's still knocked out like the baby he is." Cross peered behind a set of white curtains and took another long smoke, before he strode to the door. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he drawled as he left.

"…I'm impressed, Yuu," Lavi commented, "I thought for sure you were gonna blow up or freak out or something. Cross isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with."

"And neither are you, but I haven't killed you yet, have I?" Kanda rolled his eyes and walked to the curtains, suddenly very gentle as he pulled them back.

Allen looked even younger in sleep; the lines on his face eased into a flawlessness comparable to a porcelain doll. The angry red scar across his eye appeared duller, calmer, in the white light, and his messy hair flared out around his head like a silvery halo. He had a bandage wrapped around his forehead and a few minor cuts, but those seemed to be the only injuries he'd suffered.

"Yuu…"

Kanda abruptly shut the curtains and glared at Lavi, who was looking at him with a curious expression.

"What?" he asked as he stalked to the door.

"…nothing." Lavi closed his eyes and shook his head. "Please tell me you're going back to your bed now?"

"Tch."

- - -

Lavi had said to sleep, but Kanda had promised nothing. Regardless, his fellow Exorcist left him in peace, but Kanda was sure he didn't imagine the door locking outside. He slumped against the pillows and exhaled loudly.

'_They only care about you, Yuu-kun,'_ he could imagine Tiedoll cooing at him, '_because they love you.'_

_Don't talk to me about love, old man, _he would retort, _and don't call me that!_

Why was he thinking about this again? Kanda wondered absently as his head lolled to the side and he stared at the curtains around his bed.

"_Take my hand."_

A flicker of annoyance crossed his face and he frowned. That dream probably had something to do with it. Why was he remembering pointless things like that now? Kanda allowed his eyes to close. He hadn't dreamt of that night for years. He'd almost forgotten…

"_Akuma…!"_

Alright, so he hadn't.

But why now?

"_He can't hurt you anymore."_

He had promised that, all those years ago.

So why was he hurting _now_?

"_Talk to me, Yuu."_

"_Go away! I don't need your sympathy, old man."_

"_Well! You're certainly picking up English quickly…"_

"_Stupid, I told you I speak English already!"_

"_Then talk to me. You can't bottle things up like this."_

"_There's nothing to 'bottle up'."_

"_Yuu-kun… you just lost your family, it's important for you to talk about it--"_

"…_That man wasn't family. I've moved on."_

"_You think you're talking like a grownup, but you're acting very childish. You don't have to pretend to be strong."_

"_I'm not pretending! And I'm not childish!"_

"…_Yuu…I know it hurts. Don't carry everything on your shoulders."_

"_Who else would carry my burdens?"_

"_The people who love you."_

_Talk._

_Someone handed him a card with messy handwriting._

"_When you're ready."_

* * *

A/N: Just to clarify, the ending bit is Kanda's half-asleep memory recollection (recognize the last line from the first chapter?). Yah.

So some people have asked for longer chapters, but here's my dealio. I stop writing when the idea I wanted to get across in the chapter is finished. Adding anymore, or even combining ideas for chapters I feel ruins the effect. Don't get me wrong, I always bug my favorite authors for longer chapters, so I know how you feel, but I'm just tellin' ya my reasoning. :)

About this chapter en general... it started out all wrong. Like, I wrote it out and then scrapped half of it and didn't touch it for a couple o' days. Then I wrote up to the part with Cross (and fyi, I cannot write Cross to save my life so excuse his OOC-ness), but I couldn't finish it and it still seemed really off. So I started writing the memory bit at the beginning as a free-write, and bam, it fit and worked and I was inspired. Gotta love when that happens.

Quick translations, _doko_ means _where, _and _akuma_ means _demon_.

On a side note... guess what guys, I went trick-or-treating! :D I was the Queen of Hearts, my bff was Alice and our other friend was the Cheshire Cat. And we made our own costumes too. Most kick-ass.

'KAY, ELECTION TIME NOW, CIAO. Reviews shall be used either as confetti or black shrouds of mourning tomorrow depending on who wins, lolz.


	14. Unfold

Authors Note: Holy shitcakes, I am so sorry this is so late. I do have reasons though! The last few weeks of the trimester at school are always toughies, so there's that. And then I kind of got sidetracked by other anime/manga (I finally succumbed and watched Inuyasha), which meant my DGM spazz time was cut short. But! Fear not, it's not gone, because Kanda is too fun to write and Allen's too cute to forget.

That said, I don't think this chapter is my _best_, but I do like it, and I think it's in a slightly different style than the previous ones, which is kind of nice, because this is like the start of a new part (rhyming skills, woo).

Thankyouthankyou_thankyou_ to my reviewers: Nusku, Alice Melan, Ashe Seraphim, Shinigami Hunter, artist-girl731, mimicsmaze, Metheor, Nadramon, imhappynessinabottle, Exorcist-Miranda, Freakingcage7, kioku akumu, Asa Ayame, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, Velvet Blindfold, uniFsky, blood lust43110, Anime-Mastah, Kit turned Mighty, Novelist Pup (muchisimas gracias to you, because your ode got me back to working on this story right after I read it) and InfinityOnTheRun. As of yet I haven't replied to all of you, but I'll try my best to do it...eventually.

Without further ramblings, I present chapter FOURTEEN.

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**SUGAR-FREE**

14_ -- unfold_

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_Love is a strange bewilderment which overtakes one person on account of another person._

_(E.B. White)_

* * *

Summer's heat had eased slightly upon their return home; Kanda's first breath of air after the long journey back was lacking the sickly sweetness of summer's prime, and the crispness of leaves and grass foretold fall's arrival.

Now, as he took his tea outside for a rare desire to let the scenery calm him, the wind was picking up and tossing the leaves about their yard in a way that almost made it seem like it was raining emeralds. He took a seat beside the lobbed off head of the old training dummy and allowed the sun to wash over his face.

The sun was a welcome touch to his skin after spending about two weeks caged up in a Tokyo hospital, about a day and a half in an airplane and then who knew how long in yet another hospital back home. The Order had insisted on more checkups at their private medical facilities (they didn't trust anyone else with their prized Exorcists) and so this was truly the first time Kanda had been outside and peaceful in a long time. His shoulder and side still throbbed but it was a dull pain, even without the medications he so stubbornly refused to take.

Truth be told, he had pretty much healed by the time they returned, but Allen was a different matter. Kanda had only seen him once after that stolen visit when he met Cross, and though the kid had _seemed _fine, the nurses only allowed him to sit up for fifteen minutes at a time. Allen was drugged and knocked out for the entire plane ride too (apparently the pressures weren't good for his head injury), and the last time Kanda saw him, he was being wheeled into an Order issued van with General Cross. It wasn't that he was _worried_, exactly- the doctors had assured them that Allen would make a full recovery, but he needed rest.

"Kanda," Marie's voice intruded upon his solitude and Kanda turned his gaze towards the other. "I'm going grocery shopping, and then to the Order to drop off the mission report. I'll be back by dinner, probably."

Kanda grunted in acknowledgement and closed his eyes. Ah yes, the report. Lavi and Marie had spent much, if not all, of the plane ride putting it together since Allen and Kanda were in no position to do so. Kanda had given his input occasionally, with details about the NOAH and some feedback on the guns, but after that he'd left the formalities to his teammates. The Order would be in contact with them soon to get more information on the NOAH, but thanks to their medical conditions, they would at least get a couple weeks break before being interrogated.

A couple weeks… surely Allen would be better by that time; he was at home now, apparently…wherever 'home' was. Kanda wasn't sure if the General was staying with him or not, and he wasn't sure which he preferred—the General was a rather shady person, but then the beansprout could hardly take care of himself…

Kanda downed his scalding hot tea in one gulp and stalked back to the kitchen. Why was everything reminding him of Allen Walker?

- - -

It wasn't too long of a drive; by the time Kanda had made up his mind to go it was already late afternoon (the kitchen clock had said 5:03 when he left) and most of the traffic was in the opposite direction as people headed home. The sun clung onto the precious hours winter would soon claim, making the earth shine an orangey gold that reminded Kanda of that first morning in Tokyo-- but the glowing landscape here had nothing on Allen's eyes.

Argh, he was thinking of that dratted beansprout _again_! Honestly, it was like a disease…beansprout-itis or something…

The road grew steadily twisted as Kanda drove into the cemetery, older trees lining the way and creating patches of light thanks to their thick canopies. The place was probably beautiful in fall, Kanda noted- Tiedoll would have loved it. Kanda himself never understood people's fascination with the season- it was like celebrating _death_, really; all the pretty colors people blathered on about were because the trees were _dying_, did they not _see that?_

_"Is that how you think of it?" _Tiedoll commented once, "_How very like you, Yuu," _here he'd chuckled at his own joke, and Kanda had probably hit him, he couldn't remember now -- "_But you know, I see it more as a season of rebirth. The trees aren't really dying. They're just shedding their skin…turning over a new leaf, if you get what I mean. Ha-ha!"_

The old man had always been a horrible comedian.

- - -

Kanda didn't want to waste much time at the grave- God help him if he came home late and Marie figured out where he'd gone… (his ears would fall off before he'd hear the end of it).

Just a quick stop, maybe clean up the place a little as was customary, and maybe he would meditate a bit. He hadn't brought any flowers or whatnot (_maybe daffodils next time? Where did Allen buy them, he wondered?)_ so that was really all he could do. Anyway, despite being the final home of a bunch of dead people, the cemetery was secluded and quiet at this time, and Kanda needed some quiet time (…_wait a minute, he just thought about Allen again, didn't he?)._

Tiedoll's grave stood out from all the other clean white blocks of marble thanks to the flourishing daffodils in front of it. They were doing well - Kanda allowed a satisfied look - a couple of them were tall enough to brush against the carvings of the General's name.

Everything was silent as he sat in front of the general, not even the wind ruffled his long hair, and it felt as though he was about to have an intimate conversation.

…_with a gravestone? Yeah right. How stupid._

But even as he huffed and rolled his eyes, he had to admit that coming here had been a good idea. There was something calming here, something in the way the waning sun felt on the back of his neck, the way the marble glittered warmly at him in greeting, something so undeniably _Tiedoll _about the place that gave him the comfort he would never have admitted to missing after the old man had died.

_'Back again, I see,' _Tiedoll might say, '_It's been a while. You should come to visit me more often, Yuu, as good sons are wont to do!'_

_'I'm not your son, stupid old man,' _Kanda would definitely reply, '_I just wanted some quiet. So stop talking to me.'_

_'Now that's not true. You never come to me unless something's bothering you.' _Tiedoll would counter gently, and damn it all, he'd be right. Maybe he'd smile then (the old geezer smiled too much for his own good). _'Remember there are people who love you, Kanda Yuu. Don't make them worry. It's okay to talk about how you feel once in a while.'_

- - -

When Kanda next opened his eyes, the sun had faded considerably, and the inkiness of night was beginning to stain the amber sky. A few stars twinkled into existence above him, and he swore.

"Fuck. Tch, can't believe it's already so late…"

Well, Marie had said he'd _probably_ be home for _dinner_, and they ate dinner late anyway, so Kanda would try his luck and head home without formulating any excuses. He dusted himself off, paused, bowed once to the general's gravestone, and feeling somewhat more relaxed, left to find his car.

Most of the cars that had been in the parking lot when he'd arrived were gone, except one in the far back space with a license plate that read: _CRDSHRP. _How lame.

Kanda took his time on the drive back. Most people would think it eerie to be in a cemetery around sunset, but to Kanda it was kind of soothing. His headlights were the only lights apart from the stars and dying sun. Kanda rolled down the window, letting his left arm hang outside (in the back of his mind he remembered Marie yelling something about how one day he'd get his arm ripped off), opening his palm and trying to catch the wind. If he'd been the type of person, Kanda would have started humming.

It was when he slowed around the curve and the other side of the cemetery came back into view that he noticed a solitary figure standing beside a grave, watching the sunset, with white hair that caught Kanda's eye.

Wait.

_White hair?_

Kanda slammed on the break, not enough to make it squeal, but enough to jolt him a bit. He narrowed his eyes at the scene before him. _Was it really…?_ The person turned enough so that Kanda could make out his face -- ah, there it was, that pinkish scar across his left eye…

_What the hell is the beansprout doing here?_

Maybe it was his current mood, or maybe it was because the kid had been on his mind non-stop since Tokyo, but whatever it was made Kanda park his car on the side of the road, hop the cemetery fence, and scare Allen half to death when he called his name.

"Oi, beansprout, why the hell are you here?"

"K-Kanda?!" Allen leaned against the marble for support and clutched his heart with his other hand, "Jesus _Christ_, Kanda, you nearly gave me a _heart attack."_

"When did you wake up, anyway?" Kanda asked, frowning.

"I've been awake for some time now," Allen chuckled, "but Cross put me under house-arrest, essentially, until I proved to him I was better by cleaning up the entire wine cellar. He's such an ass. I'm sorry you had to meet him."

"…so your head's okay? Well, as okay as it _can_ be, seeing as you were pretty fucked up to _begin with--_"

"Bastard," Allen grumbled, but ruined the effect when he smiled, "but yeah, I'm okay now. See, all healed!" he lifted up his bangs to reveal merely a small band-aid on the once bloody wound.

Kanda didn't say anything, but folded his arms and leaned against the gravestone next to Allen as they both turned to watch the sunset. After a few moments of silence (he couldn't tell if it was awkward or comfortable), Kanda repeated his question.

"So why are you here?"

"Ah! That's…" Allen looked away, got that kicked-puppy-lost-child look on his face and gave a weird little smile. "It's the anniversary of the day I met Mana," he swallowed, "…and, coincidentally, the day he died."

"Mana? Who's that, your lover or something?"

Allen coughed and shook his head. "N-No! He was my father. Well, adoptive, but still the only father I ever knew. This is where he's buried."

"Tch, obviously," Kanda murmured, letting his gaze fall on the stone Allen was touching. _Mana Walker, eh? _His eyes wandered up to Allen's face again, and had he been anyone else, he might have gasped. It was impossible to describe the expression that had claimed Allen's face -- it was so terribly _broken_. He was staring at his hands, as though someone had ripped out his beating heart and shoved it in his hands for him to watch as he died. Kanda cleared his throat and almost kicked himself for the next words he spoke.

"…how did he…" he sighed and started over, "…do you want to talk about it?"

Allen's head shot up and he stared at Kanda for a long moment, even as wayward tears slipped down his cheeks, ignoring his attempts to keep them at bay. He bit his lip and looked down again before nodding ever so slightly and practically launching himself into Kanda's arms.

"_It's all my fault, _Kanda," Allen choked out, fisting his hands in Kanda's shirtsleeves, "_I killed him._"

* * *

A/N: Woah, lots of long paragraph-y stuff compared to the other chapters, sorry if it hurt yer eyes.

Now ain't this a twisty- Kanda wants to talk, and Allen ends up spilling his skeletons first. :D ...Allen kind of cries a lot, doesn't he? Well, poor kiddo has reason to...keep in mind, this is the first time he's actually spoken about what he's done, so he's allowed to be emotional. ;)

BTW, Allen's license plate, CRDSHRP, is CARD SHARP, which is (according to google definitions) _a professional card player who makes a living by cheating at card games_ or something like that. Fits, no?

Once again: SORRY THIS UPDATE WAS SO LATE D:

Unfortunately, as it is break time (woo!), I'm gonna be out of town SO do not expect any updates until Monday after next at the _earliest_.

Reviews will be used as cranberry sauce because I can't get enough of that stuff. :D

HAPPY THANKSGIVING IN ADVANCE!


	15. Accidentally

Authors Note: The last update before school starts. Is time to share some feelings, yes?!

Kinda like this chapter, kinda quirk my head at it. Hopefully you peoples will enjoy (sorry it's kinda short).

Thanks for all the reviews! Much love to: Nusku, Anime-Mastah, michellehail44, Sleeping Moon, Freakingcage7, Exorcist-Miranda, xXJustAnotherFangirlxX, SeikaDragon, mimicsmaze, Shinigami Hunter, Velvet Blindfold, Metheor, artist-girl731, uniFsky, Aion Laven Walker, Asa Ayame, Novelist Pup, unheardcries, sventastic, InfinityOnTheRun (I dunno if this is quite 'slaying' material, but I hope you like anyway), Lolita-mist, Ghost of the Crescent Moon, Kit turned Mighty, and St. Misery.

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**SUGAR-FREE**

15 -- _accidentally_

* * *

Kanda stumbled backwards, Allen still pressed up against him, until the back of his knees painfully hit the side of a gravestone. He steadied himself and tentatively put his hands on Allen's shoulders, pushing the younger back until he was at arm's length and Kanda could properly see his face. He bent down slightly so that they were at the same eye-level and stared long and hard as Allen let go of his shirt, hurriedly brushed away his tears and his breathing calmed.

"Now say that again, beansprout?"

"You heard it correctly the first time, Kanda," Allen replied softly, not meeting his gaze, "…I killed him."

"You don't look to me like the kind of guy to have that much backbone," Kanda commented dryly, sliding his hands from Allen's shoulders to grasp his arms. "And if you're still sobbing about it years later, I doubt you actually _killed_ him- probably some kind of accident. Am I wrong?"

Allen laughed shakily and a few more tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Who knew you'd be so good at reading people," he mused with a smile that didn't reach his sad, sad eyes. "I guess you could call it an accident. It wasn't completely _accidental_, he warned me but I was stupid and didn't listen…"

"Well some things don't change," Kanda muttered. "Now are you going to talk about it or should I leave you here to mope?"

Allen sighed and looked up at the darkening sky, gently worming out of Kanda's grip.

"It's getting late, are you sure you have the time--?"

"Beansprout, the next words out of your mouth better be whatever sob story you need to tell, or I really will leave. You can't fucking launch yourself at me crying without a good reason, so start talking."

"I was just--" Allen stopped himself at Kanda's low growl. He took a shuddering, deep breath and began again. "…I was born with a disease in my arm. My parents left me at the hospital after the doctors said that they had to amputate."

"Wait, disease? But before you said--"

"Generally, when I tell people it was because of a disease, they keep their distance."

"It's not contagious, is it?"

"Of course not. It was purely genetic."

"Then why did you think I'd give a damn?"

"I didn't, but…I didn't want to risk losing you anyway." Allen almost chuckled at the twitchy expression on Kanda's face. "But that's when I met Mana. He took me in and became my family. Mana was the only one who didn't turn away from me, and loved me for who I was- despite what I was. He was my _world_. And then," his tone changed to bitterness, "then the Order came into play. Mana…used to be with the Order, but he never told me anything more than that. When I was fourteen, General Cross came for us. They ran some tests on me, and that's how I ended up with this arm." Allen closed his eyes and flexed the metallic fingers in his left hand.

"I was fifteen when the Order installed a gun. I was told to practice in an old warehouse. I promised Mana I could handle it, but he was still worried. I thought it was all fun and games, firing a gun…" he laughed humorlessly, "I even thought they looked like _fireworks_ when the walls exploded. I was having too much fun… I didn't listen. I hit the ceiling when Mana told me not to. Hah, at the time I thought it was cool. And then," Allen's voice cracked as he bent his head, and even though Kanda couldn't see his face, he could tell from his raggedy breaths that Allen was crying again. "And then," he swallowed and cleared his throat, "the ceiling fell. The entire section collapsed right above me. I could see it but I couldn't move, you know?" He was whispering now, "Mana saved me. He pushed me out of the way and died because of my mistake…my _stupidity--_"

"That," Kanda interrupted, "doesn't sound like you killed him. It sounds like he saved your sorry ass so you could live, and you're still pouting about it when you could be repaying him by living however the hell makes you happy. That's…usually what they want," he added quietly. "…Old geezers are weird like that."

They stood in silence for God knew how long, until Allen started laughing.

"Thank you, Kanda. Really, thank you." He smiled and ran a hand through his disheveled white hair. "Look at me. I'm supposed to be _your_ therapist and here you are consoling me."

"I already told you, I don't need a fucking shrink," Kanda snorted. "Whatever. Are you done?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm done. Thanks, again--"

"Don't mention it." At Allen's smile, Kanda repeated himself. "No, seriously- don't mention it. Ever."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Didn't you want to talk? Otherwise you wouldn't have gotten out of your car just to see me…?"

"I-Idiot! I was just surprised that you were still alive, that's all!"

"…it's okay to talk," Allen replied gently, "I owe you, for one thing, but…I really do want to help you. Something's been bothering you, right?"

"How would you know? Don't make stupid assumptions--"

"Why else would you visit General Tiedoll's grave?" Allen asked and sighed at Kanda's fumbling expression. "I know you're not a very open person, and you'd probably rather not talk to me, but you should talk to _someone_. Like it or not, there are people who care about you, and worry sometimes. You don't have to go through life alone. You know, after Mana died, my world expanded because I needed shoulders to lean on. I'm not saying you need that," Allen said quickly when Kanda opened his mouth, "but everyone needs a friend once in a while."

"So we're friends now?" Kanda grumbled, unable to come up with anything else.

"I'd like to think we are. We don't even have to talk about your problems – don't look at me like that, I know you have them. We can talk about anything. You still have my number, right?"

"…"

"Well, at least you're being honest. I think I have a couple cards in my car, if you still have the time?"

The time…

Shit!

Kanda snapped his eyes to the sky (almost snapping his neck in the process) and swore colorfully as the stars twinkled down at him. By the time he got home, Marie was sure to be back.

"…I take it that means you're late for something," Allen concluded with a shake of his head and a smile.

"Yeah."

Kanda had never been good with goodbyes; more like he'd never had anyone whom he wanted to say goodbye to with the underlying _see you again_ added in.

Luckily, Allen was no stranger to sharing his feelings or parting greetings. "Don't worry, I'll find you somehow," he assured with a wink, "I always manage to, don't I? Goodnight, Kanda."

"Hn," Kanda nodded and jumped the fence, jogged back to his car and floored the gas pedal all the way home.

- - -

"Where were you?" Marie asked good-naturedly at dinner.

"Out," Kanda replied curtly, slurping his noodles noisily so Marie had to wait to speak again.

"You have grass stains on your pants," Marie noted, trying to hide his smile. "You weren't at Shishou's grave, were you?"

"What's it to you?" Kanda grumbled, replacing his chopsticks on the plate. If Marie was surprised by Kanda's immediate agreement, he didn't show it.

"Anything happen?" he asked instead.

"Not really."

"Was anyone there?" _Was Allen Walker there?_

"Tch. Why are you asking?"

"No reason, just that when something good happens you look smug. You kind of have that look now, is all." _Yeah, Allen Walker was most definitely there. _

"I do not," Kanda hissed, downing his glass of water and dumping it and his plate in the sink. "I'm going to bed."

- - -

That night Kanda dreamt of lotuses.

He was back in that house, where _that person_ lived, back in that pond where _that person _had intended him to die, but he was not a child in his dream. Though he knew rationally that his feet should be able to touch the bottom of the shallow pool, nineteen years old and tall as he was, a black abyss was all that met his searching limbs. The lotus roots were filthy, wet and snake-like as they coiled and constricted.

_Akuma!_

Had _he_ won, finally? Kanda wondered as the bubbles around him slowed as if they were trapped in glue. He watched each one pop, dissolve into smaller bubbles and disappear from sight--

--he couldn't breathe.

_Akuma, akuma, akuma…!_

He gasped and broke the surface, wildly searching for something to hold onto. A warm hand met his as his memory dictated, but something was different. _Gloves?_

Allen Walker smiled and lifted him from the choking roots and Kanda wondered if this was why the boy smelled like lotus.

* * *

A/N: So the last line may seem kinda weird and confusing, right? Well remember that time back in the parking lot, when Kanda says Allen smells like lotus? Well dream-Kanda is associating that time with this dream... make sense? Lol, probably not, but it's meant to be somewhat philosophical or something, yeah?

I hope I kept Allen in character; for some reason keeping Kanda in character isn't as hard for me, but Allen always threatens to be ooc...  
I really love Marie in this chapter too, don't you? He's so Kanda-wise. As in, wise about Kanda.

Oh, and Kanda will get to talk about his feelings eventually, lol I just keep dragging it out, don't I? But we do get a bit of insight into his feelings about Tiedoll here (what is it, like a line?)... and homgz more info about his mysterious past in a lotus pond...

I like writing dream sequences. They're fun 'cos you can make 'em kinda trippy. Woo, glue bubbles...

REVIEWS will be used as points on the SAT.

(Lol, I wish.)


	16. It's a Learning Process

Authors Note: If I were to define this chapter in one word, I think I would use 'cute'. So here it is, a long overdue, cute, chapter.

Sorry for the wait everyone, ehehe~

Thank you Novelist Pup, Nusku, Freakingcage7, Sleeping Moon, xXJustAnotherFangirlXx, michellehail44, Exorcist-Miranda, Metheor, artist-girl731, mimicsmaze, Aion Laven Walker, Shinigami Hunter, Velvet Blindfold, leia-chan, uniFsky, Anime-Mastah, sventastic, Kit turned Mighty, , Maze Puppet, ItaNaruLover, Asa Ayame, InfinityOnTheRun, potatofreek, and babo123 for reviewing!

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**SUGAR-FREE**

16 _-- it's a learning process_

* * *

_We can only learn to love by loving._

_(Iris Murdock)_

* * *

Sunday morning brought a crisp, sunny day and a surprise visitor (who wasn't really that surprising) ringing Kanda's doorbell at 11 o'clock.

"…you're seriously some kind of stalker, aren't you?"

Allen shifted the box in his arms and smiled. "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"How the hell did you find my house?" Kanda asked, eye twitching ever so slightly.

Allen's smile widened and it was starting to look kind of creepy. "Details, details. Come on, I've got lunch!"

Kanda sighed. "…if I told you to go away, you'd just come in anyway, wouldn't you?"

"Good to see you're a quick learner," Allen said brightly. "Now, if you don't mind, this is kind of heavy."

"Don't make yourself at home, kid," Kanda grumbled, finally allowing the younger passage inside. He deftly took the box from Allen's arms as he did so, easily carrying it under one arm.

"Hey, be careful with that!" Allen cautioned, "It took me all morning to make!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kanda waved him off, but he did set the box down on the kitchen counter with some care. When he walked back to the living room, he found Allen admiring the décor.

"You've got a lovely place," the white haired teen complimented. "It's nice to see a home that isn't cluttered with trash and alcohol. Are these your paintings?"

"No, those are the old man's."

Allen threw a sideways glance at him. "Ah, I see. He was very talented, wasn't he?"

"If you like that kind of stuff," Kanda allowed, shrugging. Allen moved to the fireplace, bending to look at the pictures that crowded the marble mantle.

"Aw, is this you, Kanda?" he cooed, pointing at a picture that Kanda swore he'd burned ages ago. "Pouting even back then. Some things never change, huh?"

"Watch it, stalker-kid. You're in my house, so I could kill you for trespassing if you piss me off."

"Are you never going to call me Allen?" the white-haired teen asked, quirking his head and looking half amused and half annoyed.

"Are you ever going to stop being a bean sized stalker? No."

"Kanda, are you talking to yourself or do we have guests?" Marie's teasing voice carried down from upstairs and was shortly followed by Marie himself.

"That's it, Marie, I've gone crazy. Want to meet my fucking imaginary friend?" Kanda snapped, crossing his arms.

"Oh, Allen!" Marie ignored Kanda's sarcasm to greet Allen with a smile. "It's great to see you well again!"

"It's good to be back, Marie-san," Allen shook Marie's hand enthusiastically. "I've brought some lunch over, if you'd like to join us. Kanda and I were just about to eat."

Marie looked over at Kanda, who was leaning against the wall and glaring at the fireplace. Before Marie could reply, he cut in.

"Are you sure you have enough of whatever crap you made, beansprout?" Kanda asked, frown deepening into what could have been called a pout on any other face, "Marie's kind of a pig."

Marie had never been happier, except possibly that time with the bunnies and Kanda's first time in a pool-- but this was a different kind of happy; kind of like how a parent feels when their child first learns to walk. Beaming inwardly, Marie looked apologetic.

"No worries, I'm not staying. Sorry Allen, I've got some errands to run. Well, I'll probably see you around soon," he winked subtly as he left. "Bye!"

"Are you always so rude to everyone?" Allen asked, amused, as Kanda led the way into the kitchen.

"How is it rude if I'm telling the truth? You want me to lie all the time instead?" Kanda sniffed. "Hn, actually smells edible."

"Why thank you-- wait, were you lying or not?"

"Who knows?" Kanda smirked wickedly, "Annoying, isn't it?"

"Fine, fine, point taken. Go back to your usually bitchy self, please."

"You're just _asking_ for an ass-kicking, aren't you? Miss the hospital that much, beansprout?"

"Kanda," Allen sighed as he removed the containers from the box, "let's just let it go."

"Hey, you asked for bitchy," Kanda reminded, wrinkling his nose at Allen's cooking. "So what is all this shit?"

"We-ell, last time you told me you liked Japanese food, so I decided to try my hand at it. It came out quite nicely after a couple of tries."

"You're kidding yourself if you think I'm gonna be your fucking guinea pig."

"Oh don't worry," Allen smiled as he began fishing around the kitchen drawers, "I fed some to Cross and he's still alive and kicking, resilient bastard. Where do you keep the plates?"

"Second shelf, top-- wait, why am I letting you screw around in my kitchen? Sit down, brat, before you break something you can't afford."

Allen huffed, but took a seat at the counter. "Jerk."

"Here. Freaking bean, making me work when it's your stupid food."

"You brought it upon yourself. Now what do you want to try first?"

"You make it sound like I'll live to try the rest."

"Kanda…" Allen began wearily.

"…the soba."

"Marie told me that was your favorite," Allen said happily, piling noodles onto Kanda's plate.

"The hell? Since when have you been talking to Marie?"

"Ah, since the funeral, actually. He's the one who contacted me, you know about the whole--"

"Shrink thing, yeah," Kanda smirked. "How's that coming, anyway, little Order Lady?"

"Shut up! I was just filling in. My friend's back now."

"So why do you keep bugging me? Isn't your job over now?"

"Because I want to spare her from the horror that is you, and because…I don't know, I felt we had a connection, or something."

Kanda spluttered. "C-Connection? Seriously, what have _you_ been on, beansprout? They give you too much morphine at the hospital?"

"You're an ass," Allen rolled his eyes. "I mean we're friends, bastard. How's the food?"

Kanda frowned down at his plate, but took out a pair of chopsticks and tentatively chewed on a noodle.

"…"

"…well?"

"I'm not dead yet, am I?" Kanda replied, as if that should be enough. Almost grudgingly, he ate another noodle, and another.

Allen was all smiles. "If I didn't know better," he began slowly, "I'd say you liked it."

"Good thing you know better then."

- - -

Lunch took until half past noon with Allen making sure Kanda tried everything and then devouring the remains. Allen had packed up afterwards, and when it looked like he was going to leave (Kanda couldn't tell if that was a good thing), he instead plopped himself down in the living room with a content sigh.

"Oi, aren't you going to leave?" Kanda asked, even as he joined Allen on the couch.

"Do you want me to?" Allen queried, and that threw Kanda (who had been expecting a simple 'no, you're such a jerk') off.

"W-What kind of question is that?" Kanda grumbled. "What do you _think_?"

Allen didn't say anything for a moment, staring at Kanda's face. When his scrutiny was complete, he smiled.

"Okay. I'll stay."

"…tch. Annoying bean."

- - -

Allen left around 2 o'clock that Sunday. Marie returned suspiciously soon after Allen took his leave, and he didn't let Kanda escape his questioning.

"Kanda, help me put up the groceries," was Marie's excuse, and as he shoved milk cartons in Kanda's hands and motioned him to the fridge, he began the interrogation.

"So, how was the food?"

"Not completely shitty," Kanda muttered after a moment's pause. As he opened his mouth to excuse himself, Marie handed him two plastic bags filled with vegetables, smiling innocently all the while.

"What did he make?"

"…Japanese stuff."

"Oh, that's right!" Marie exclaimed thoughtfully, "He did call the other day to ask me about that."

"Tch, if you knew then why did you--"

"He worked hard on it, I'm sure," Marie interrupted, "You know, he can only use the kitchen at odd hours now that General Cross is staying with him; something about the noise disturbing the General. He left a couple messages on my phone at well past midnight asking about cooking. The soba noodles especially- he made them by hand, even when I told him it was easier to just get the instant-packets," Marie looked up after his speech. "So, how were they?"

"…tch. Not good enough that the stupid bean should've stayed up working on them," Kanda grumbled, "…but alright. Better than yours, anyway," he added gruffly.

Marie grinned. "Maybe we should invite him over more often, then, huh? Since he knows how to make soba the way you like it."

"No," was the curt response. "I don't want to rely on that bean for food." Kanda dumped the vegetables into their designated drawer in the fridge and slammed the door. "I'm going to the back to train. Don't interrupt me if you don't wanna die."

_Yup_, Marie thought as he hummed to himself, fixing the mess Kanda made of the fridge, _he's definitely looking smug. _

- - -

Fall settled in for its temporary stay over the next few weeks, turning all the trees in their neighborhood to golden tufted skeletons. It was a little colder than the typical fall, according to the news reports, but apart from that, life progressed normally for Kanda...except for one little thing:

Allen Walker was nowhere to be found.

(Not that Kanda was looking, mind you.)

He hadn't magically appeared in Kanda's life since that Sunday luncheon, and Kanda hadn't run into the white-haired beansprout anywhere. On the third week of Allen's disappearance, Kanda was curious enough to ask Marie.

"Oi, Marie," he began over the Monday morning breakfast table. He'd chosen this time specifically because Marie would only have time to give him the simple answer he needed before rushing off to his part-time job at a local garage. "You're buddy-buddy with the bean, aren't you? Where the hell is he?"

"Ehh, you noticed he was gone, then?" Marie said incredulously (though there was something fishy about his smile).

"_Obviously_."

"But I thought I told you- he has a new mission with Cross. He left about a week and a half ago."

"No, you _didn't_ tell me. What kind of mission?" Kanda asked, clenching his fingers into a fist under the table.

"Some kind of recon mission, I think. He said Cross wouldn't let him give out too many details, but it's to do with that famous Ark the NOAH's are said to be making."

"The hell? They're sending that kid on something that dangerous?"

"Well, he's with Cross so it should be okay. Ah, that reminds me- Allen already filled his mission report about those two NOAH members you fought, but the Order wants your input as well. They should get in touch with you soon about that," Marie informed, putting his cup in the sink and grabbing his keys. "Right, well, I'll see you later, Kanda."

"Yeah, yeah," Kanda grumbled off-handedly.

Marie smiled.

"He's supposed to be back next week, by the way," he mentioned casually as he put his shoes on.

"Tch."

"You know what would be nice?" Marie put his index finger to his lips in thought. "You should get dinner for him when he gets back."

"What? Why the hell would I--"

"You owe him for the lunch, anyway. I'm sure he'll be tired after the mission, and I've heard he's got quite the appetite. A square meal should do. I can give you directions to his place when I get back. Think about it, okay?"

- - -

"I'm not cooking anything," Kanda announced when Marie walked in later that day.

"Sorry?"

"For the bean," Kanda clarified, not meeting Marie's gaze. "I'm not cooking anything."

"Alright, do what you want," Marie shrugged. "…I'll leave the directions on the fridge."

- - -

A week passed by and the post-it-note directions remained on the fridge. Marie was not worried, however, and thanks to some careful hints about the exact date and time and flight number of Allen's arrival, he expected Kanda wouldn't disappoint.

Saturday night came and Marie smiled when he found the bare fridge and the car keys missing.

* * *

A/N: I know, I know, I'm evil, I ended the chapter when I probably could've kept going a bit longer. ;D Well I've gotta keep you interested, don't I?

Anyways, once again, do tell me if you think these dudes are in character or not. I cranked this chapter out in a couple of hours, so if there are any spelling mistakes/inconsistency or something that you notice, please point it out. :3

Aaand I just realized I missed Yullen Week. -cries- Though I couldn't have updated anyway since I was in Chicago celebrating my cousin's birthday on Christmas (she was born on Christmas Eve, ain't that cute?)...

BUT, HEY, if you guys want, I could probably post some one shots with those prompts/themes/whatever. :D Only if you guys want it though, so let me know, ya?

In closing:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, though terribly belated, AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR. The next update will probably be next year, (doesn't that sound scary?) _but_ I may update sooner based on my inspiration/motivation and I'll try and update Ace of Cakes soon too.

Reviews will be used as fluffy socks since my toes are always freezing this time of year. :D


	17. Fate, or Something Better

Authors Note: Look who's back with a brand new chap and I don't mean chap as in a - okay I'm done.

A big, fat CHU~ to whoever guesses what I was listening to when I wrote this note. :D Oh that's such great motivation, I know...

'kay, since I'm way overdue for this chapter, I'll skip the crazy talk for afterwards. READ ON. (Lots of convo in this one, btw.)

Oh and thanks to Moon'sAbyss, Freakingcage7, , Ghost of the Crescent Moon, Shinigami Hunter, Nusku, love is but an element, babo123, Velvet Blindfold, Didnt log in (lol, whoever you are!), mimicsmaze, ItaNaruLover, artist-girl731, Xiao Yue Er, Lapica, Aion Laven Walker, WrathofMugen, michellehail44, Mad-micky, Anime-Mastah, YugiKitten, seaturtlesrox, Kanda-is-all-I-want (same here, lolz), InfinityOnTheRun, Kit turned Mighty, Metheor, Lochesh, Wing012, mrsrocklee20, Edtheoddfish, uniFsky, Asa Ayame, Novelist Pup, Dark Green Poop, Winged Golden Tiger, Axeiru, Clow Angel and Aria Delanc for reviewing! Holy cow this list got long! Love you guys~

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**SUGAR-FREE**

17 -- _fate, or something better_

* * *

_Fate, or something better? I could care less, just stay with me a while._

_("Anna Molly", Incubus)_

* * *

Marie's directions were clear and concise. By the time Kanda started having second thoughts about his venture, he was already more than halfway across town and only a few minutes from Allen's place. He glanced every minute or so at the seat beside him—two bags: one with a single Tupperware box from the house, and the other a brown paper bag from a certain French restaurant near the new grocery store he shopped at…

Kanda ended up in front of Allen's door breathing a little heavier than usual. After running up and down the stairs in indecision at least ten times, he'd realized the food was getting cold and it was getting dark outside and he was bound to look sketchy, lurking outside the apartment like this (and like _hell_ he'd go home with food that Marie could question him about).

So Kanda finally made it to the point where he stood, two bags of food in hand, waiting for Allen Walker to open the door. Waiting for a _long_ time for Allen Walker to open the door.

And it was around now that the thought of _what if Cross opens the door instead _crossed his mind.

"Oh _fuck it—_"

The door cracked open, and a tired but polite voice queried from within:

"Who is it?"

"Tch. Are you blind, beansprout?"

Allen's visible eye nearly popped out of his head. "K-K_anda_?!"

"No, I'm _Santa Claus_. Yes, it's me, idiot, now are you going to let me inside or should I throw this shit in your face and leave?"

"And what shit would that be?" Allen leaned against the doorframe, reaching a hand up to rub the sleep from his scarred eye.

Kanda scowled and glared at the wall next to Allen's face.

"Food."

Allen nearly fell over, and the only reason he didn't was because of his left arm grabbing onto the door.

"Oh, Kanda," he began blubbering like a fool, "you shouldn't have, really—"

"I know that already," Kanda pushed the door further open with his foot (throwing Allen off balance again) and strode in like he owned the place. He paused. "…is the General here?"

Allen shut the door behind him. "Nope, the bastard's up and left. Again." Kanda could hear the smile in his voice. "It's just you and me."

"On second thought, I think I'll just leave these here—" Kanda turned to about face and stopped half-way when Allen caught his wrist with a cold, metal arm.

"Wait! I didn't mean it like that, retard," he said softly, "but some company would be nice." Allen's stomach growled.

Kanda sighed and handed Allen one of the bags (the lighter one, purely because of coincidence).

"Where do you—" Kanda lost the breath in his lungs when his eyes finally met Allen's. "You… what the _hell _happened to you?"

Allen squawked and made to cover his left eye again, but Kanda roughly pulled his hand away. Allen's eye was covered with gauze and bandages, and from underneath Kanda could make out the faint color of blood, and lots of it.

"It was a stupid accident," Allen muttered, ashamed. "It's fine." He lowered his hand from his face, but Kanda didn't let go.

"…can you see?" Kanda asked after a long moment.

"The Order said I'll recover eventually. My left eye heals abnormally fast, so I'm kind of lucky, actually… they said if I'd gotten stabbed in my other eye the chances of full eyesight wouldn't have been so high—"

Kanda's (unconscious?) grip on Allen's wrist tightened painfully. "You got _stabbed_ in the _eye_? How the hell are you still alive? And what the fuck was Cross doing while you were getting your ass kicked?"

Allen looked pleasantly surprised. He resisted the urge to grin outright as he commented innocently: "I didn't think you'd care so much, Kanda."

As if suddenly realizing Allen was on fire, Kanda released the boy's hand and took a step back.

"It's nothing like that, stupid bean," he growled, "don't get any weird ideas. I'm just curious."

Allen laughed and waved it off. "I'm just joking, Kanda, take it easy. Shall we? I'm rather hungry."

"Aren't you always?"

- - -

Allen's kitchen would have been an elegant affair, marble countertops and all mahogany, if not for the horrendous mess. Kanda had never seen so many alcohol bottles in his _life_, and he'd been to quite a few vineyards (the old man said wine was good for the heart), fancy restaurants (courtesy of the Order) and liquor stores (thanks to Lavi). In addition to the bottles, some of which had toppled and shattered on the counter and floor, there were random splotches of what was presumably wine, and lots of old take out boxes. The trash can in the corner was overflowing so much that a majority of the trash was heaped in mountains beside it and even as far as under the dining table.

"What the fuck is this?" Kanda asked, repulsed. "You _live_ in this shit? Fuck that- you _eat_ here?!"

"Well, we just got back a couple days ago…and master doesn't like touching trash or ugly things in general, so it's my job—"

"And what a great job you've been doing, huh?"

"Excuse me for being half _blind_," Allen hissed, using his metal arm to sweep the dirty paper plates off the dining table to join the pile underneath. Kanda made a distasteful sound but didn't say anything more. Allen rummaged through the drawers and cabinets – Kanda averted his eyes, not wanting to see something that might keep him from ever eating again – finally pulling out a Clorox wipe with a victorious shout. He quickly cleaned the table and beamed.

"There! Okay, just put the food on the table. Wow, you sure brought a lot," Allen said, eyes bright as he eyed the carry out boxes Kanda pulled out from the paper bag. "Don't tell me you cooked all this."

"I didn't."

"Oh?" Allen quirked his head, looking only a bit put out.

"I got it from that disgusting French place you dragged me to," Kanda muttered, crumpling up the empty bag and actually attempting to put it in the trashcan.

Allen smiled beautifully. "You remembered!"

"Tch. I wish I didn't. Even _I _can cook better than that."

"Then I'd love to try your cooking sometime," Allen sat down, eyeing the spread gleefully. He lifted the plastic bag and poked his head in. "So what's this?"

"…"

"…wait, is this—"

"You wanted to try my cooking, didn't you?" Kanda snapped. "So stop oogling- I don't have all night to babysit you, beansprout."

A thousand watt light bulb could not have lit the room up as effectively as Allen's face when he looked up at Kanda.

"Thank you."

"…_tch_. Just eat it."

- - -

"That was wonderful, Kanda," Allen breathed, patting his belly.

"Yeah, it better have been. The waiter looked at me like I was a nutcase for ordering all that," Kanda crossed his arms but couldn't quite force a glare at the happy teenager across from him.

"Oh, well, the restaurant food was nice too, but I liked yours best. What did you say it was called again?"

"Tempura," Kanda answered after a brief pause. (_He could see Marie laughing at him: you used up everything in the fridge to make a handful of tempura? Oh, Kanda._) "But don't get used to it, bean, I hate cooking."

Allen fixed him with a strange, calculating look, grey eye twinkling. "You know, you're surprisingly kind."

Kanda almost choked. "This is just because I owed you for that lunch," he explained hurriedly. "And freaking Marie wouldn't leave me alone, and I hate owing a bean like you anything anyway."

Allen rested his chin on his palm and grinned slowly. "Okay."

"Tch. Good."

Allen stood and surveyed the mess with a sigh. He produced a large trash bag from somewhere and began clearing off the table. Kanda made no move to help until the table was halfway clean.

At the feel of a calloused hand closing over his wrist, Allen looked up and blinked.

"Kanda, what—?"

"Idiot," the dark-haired teen muttered. He reached a hand to Allen's face and the younger jumped.

"K-Kanda?"

"Stand still, dumbass! You're bleeding!" Kanda hissed, pulling his hand away from Allen's cheek to reveal the blood on his fingers.

"Ah!" Allen clapped a hand over his left eye. "I'll be back—"

"_Go_, stupid!"

Allen returned with fresh bandages and a clean face fifteen minutes later. The table was completely clean, as was the pile of trash below it and the trash can, along with Kanda, was missing.

"…Kanda?"

At the sound of the apartment door closing, Allen hurried to the front room to find Kanda holding the now empty trash can under his arm.

"What were you doing?"

"You have a garbage disposal, beansprout, learn to _use_ it," Kanda replied. He returned the can to the kitchen before coming back to the door. He stood beside Allen and looked at the door, but made no move to open it.

"Aren't you going to leave?" Allen asked quietly (echoing Kanda's own words from before).

"I—"

"You're welcome to stay," Allen continued in a rush, "that is, I'd like for you to stay, but if Marie needs you home, I don't want to keep you…"

"Marie doesn't need me," Kanda stated curtly. He cast a sideways glance at Allen and sighed. "Don't look so damn hopeful, bean. It makes you look even more like a girl."

"S-Shut up," Allen blushed and looked away. "…so?"

"So what?"

"Will you stay?"

Kanda made a show of checking his watch, more like scrutinizing it, for a long minute.

"_Only_ because there's too much traffic on the highway now," he said at last, and Allen smiled that brilliant smile.

- - -

Surely, Kanda thought, the traffic on the roads would be clear by now. He glanced at the time. Yes, it was almost undeniable that he'd be able to get home smoothly the second he left. He was practically _guaranteed_ that there would be no holdups.

So why didn't he want to leave?

He wasn't particularly comfortable; Allen's living room consisted of a bunch of unused black leather couches, and everyone knows that brand-new leather furniture is a pain in the ass to sit on, literally.

The bean was busy telling one of his crazy adventures with Cross or Mana, whichever, from his childhood, and that was okay, but Kanda knew when he was done he'd insist on questioning Kanda about something from his own past. As a rule, Kanda hated interrogations; he'd had enough from Tiedoll and Marie and every damn nosy person at the Order.

What was different about this?

"Okay, Kanda, your turn."

"No."

"Aw, why not? You've _got_ to have done something embarrassing before."

"Do I _look_ like the type of person who'd do stupid things like that?"

Allen gave an exaggerated sigh. "_Fine_. I'll ask you something else then." He put a finger to his lips in thought. "Okay, I've got one, and you _have_ to answer. When's your birthday?"

"…June 6."

"That's a while away, huh. You'll be how old?"

"Twenty."

"_Twenty?_" Allen reiterated, eyes widening.

"Tch, what are you, like twelve?"

"Seventeen, jerk. I'm only three years younger than you. I'll be eighteen soon, though." Kanda made a questioning sort of grunt, which Allen took as a nudge to explain. "My birthday is on Christmas."

"…suits you," Allen opened his mouth but Kanda went on. "It's all about an old man giving out presents- you fit the part perfectly."

"Screw you," Allen pouted. "Now I get to ask something else."

"Whatever."

"Why do you like soba so much?"

Kanda blinked. Nobody had ever asked him that one before.

"…I tried it for the first time when I was ten…and the Order got a new chef."

"Oh, you mean Jerry?"

"Yeah. He made me try it, saying I was Japanese and ought to know what it tasted like."

Truth be told, it was one of Kanda's _only_ fond memories of the Order—

—Kanda's phone rang shrilly in his pocket. He recognized that ring tone; God, _speak of the Devil and the Devil will appear _had never been truer.

"Hello?" he answered grimly.

"Hello, Mr. Kanda, this is the Black Order Intelligence Sector. Do you have a minute?"

"What is it?"

"Are you alone?"

"No, but say whatever the hell you want, the guy is another Exorcist."

"Very well. The Order requires your information on the NOAH mission you recently completed."

"And you need it _right now_?"

"We would not be disturbing you otherwise," the voice replied politely.

"I can't come in tomorrow?"

"I assure you, Mr. Kanda, we require this information urgently."

"_Tch_."

"Shall I arrange for transportation? We currently have your location as—"

"I can drive myself." Kanda hung up with that, and stuffed the phone back in his pocket.

"You have to go," Allen surmised from the conversation he'd overheard.

"Good job figuring that one out."

Allen walked Kanda to the door, opened it for him and stood in the doorway.

"Thank you for coming to see me," he said as Kanda left. "No one's ever come to visit before."

Kanda kept walking, but raised his hand in something of a farewell gesture.

"I'll see you around, beansprout."

"Ehh?!" Kanda turned around at Allen's shocked noise.

"What? Not like you're going to stop stalking me, anyway."

"Says the one outside _my_ door," Allen teased.

"Don't expect me back," Kanda warned.

"But you're welcome anytime."

* * *

A/N: Corny, but a sweet kind of corny that's excusable, I hope. :3

Couple of notes in order to maintain consistency in this fic: Cross was said to have a wine cellar (that Allen has to clean as well), so he just has one off the apartment. It's like a multilevel apartment, you know, like those fancy ones. I'm not making this up, I swear. xD

Oh, and about Lavi, Kanda and the liquor store (lol that sounds like a fun time), you knowwww Lavi would so coerce Kanda into some underage drinkage. (Anyone wanna do a crack fic about that, lemme know. ;D).

...WHICH BY THE WAY IS BAD CHILDREN, VERY BAD. DON'T DO IT. D:

Unless you're in Europe or something.

Okay, well that's that for now... oh and WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT, FINALLYY.

Don't expect another update for a long time - sorry! - because I will be braindead after this weekend. Yes, it's that time of year... SAT this Saturday. Excuse me while I die.

:D Be back in a month or so~

Reviews will be used as resuscitation.


	18. Spider Webs

Authors Note: Hey, this won the poll!

Well, I promised about a month until an update... and I barely held to that promise! I'm rather nervous about this chapter... it's quite intense, so tell me what you think, and especially if there are any disconnects...

Thank you Nusku, Aion Laven Walker, WrathofMugen, Freakingcage7, Clow Angel, Darkspider, whisperypath, djewellz, ShiraiHime, sventastic, Sora pwns x3, michellehail44, Allen-Is-Mine, Metheor, Mijo, Velvet Blindfold, Alice Melan, Asa Ayame, babo123, LottTama, Kit turned Mighty, Harleymotor, Blue-Entity, , uniFsky, zebracatcher, Lochesh, Novelist Pup, Sinlen, Pippin's Socks, x3CAMden, and Kayday for reviewing!

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**SUGAR FREE**

18 -- _spider webs_

* * *

The Order headquarters were located below ground. Kanda's car had the Exorcist license plate and computer chip installed so he was spared the extensive security up front, but the journey down into 'Home' as they called it was still quite annoying.

Kanda drove past the checkpoint, through various government and army offices, and down, down, down into a tunnel made of dark, reflective metal and dim lights. Entering hell was possibly a brighter prospect.

Finally, there was the light at the end, and Kanda entered the true base of the Order. It was almost like an underground city; large, sprawling buildings connected by a network of tunnels and passages, the Order resembled a spider web more than anything. The entire facility was built from expensive, high quality metal and glass, and so shone like a dewy web caught in the morning sunlight. Only, there was no sunlight down in the depths of the Black Order-- only too-bright halogen floodlights and flashy LEDs.

The single road diverged into numerous ones that led to the different sectors. Kanda swerved into the far-right lane that led to the Exorcist Division.

The Exorcist Division was located in the heart of Home, surrounded by the highest level security. You had to be carded at least fourteen times before entering the division, and once inside there wasn't a single corner of the building that wasn't under surveillance, both by the heavily armed guards walking around and the swiveling cameras.

Perhaps the only nice thing about gaining passage into the E.D was the valet service. Kanda pulled up in front of the main building. As soon as he stepped out, the four guards flanking the entrance saluted, and one quickly drove his car to the parking area.

"Kanda, long time no see," greeted the receptionist, a large, beefy lipped man sporting a beanie that forever-covered his eyes.

"Wish it was longer," Kanda replied dryly, and the receptionist chuckled and shrugged.

"I won't argue with you there. They're waiting for you in the Mission Intelligence Sector… down the hall, three doors in and it'll be the room on your right," the receptionist (Kanda read his nametag: Tapp) informed with a smile. "Have fun."

"I'll try and keep my soul," Kanda grumbled, steeling himself as he followed the directions.

Three titanium-reinforced mechanical doors later, Kanda was standing with his arms crossed before a semi-circular table. Six white-coated Intelligence Officers surveyed him from their six plush seats. An attendant brought over a chair for Kanda and placed it next to him.

The first man to speak was a familiar one.

"Please, sit," the Chinese man said gently, adjusting his beret. "Kanda-kun."

"Komui," Kanda frowned as he sat. "What is this about?"

"A couple things," was the uneasy reply. Another man, broad-shouldered, strong-chinned with a square moustache and beady eyes, cleared his throat.

"Yuu Kanda, the first matter of business is the information about the NOAH members you fought."

"Didn't Lavi and Marie already give you the mission report? And that Walker kid should have given you the NOAH information too," Kanda replied, raising his eyebrows. "I can't imagine you'd call me so damn late to have a chat about a mission, Leverrier."

Komui looked uncomfortable and Leverrier cleared his throat again. A couple other members began fidgeting.

"Quite."

"Then get on with it."

"We require information on Allen Walker."

Kanda blinked.

"What?"

"Allen Walker. I want you to tell me everything you have learned about him from the day you first met until now. Leave nothing out. I know you have met outside of mission work," Kanda scowled and Leverrier stood and crossed the room to stand before him. "You should know him well by now. This information is paramount to the Order's safety, and you can consider this request an official command."

"Why the hell do you care about that beansprout? Why should I tell you anything?"

"You don't need any further reason than because I ordered it, but I shall humor you. Allen Walker is under suspicion of treason."

Komui's knuckles cracked audibly across the room, and Kanda was slack jawed.

"Sorry, _what_?" he hissed after a moment.

"Allen Walker is being inspected under suspicion of treason. We have reason to believe he and General Cross are not entirely on our side, and have affiliations with the NOAH family."

"They try to kill him, and you think he's working with them?" Kanda clenched his fists hard enough to leave half-moon welts in his palms.

"Allen Walker has been involved in some suspicious deaths as well," Leverrier replied vaguely, and Kanda snorted. If he was talking about the incident with the bean's father, then he was obviously grasping at straws.

"Mister Kanda," Leverrier gave a delicate little sigh, "Allen Walker's family line is of concern as well. Do you know why his adoptive father, Mana Walker, deserted the army?"

"Leverrier—" Komui started, but a hand from his superior quieted him.

"Because it's full of shit?" Kanda muttered.

"Because Cross convinced him to leave, mere months before we were going to conduct a full search. Helped him do it, in fact. We never had enough to convict Cross, but now that Allen Walker is in our hands, we will _definitely _be pursuing our original goals. The fruit never falls far from the tree, you know."

"Well, I don't know anything," Kanda snapped. "It's not like I make a point of knowing shit about the kid."

"He trusts you," Leverrier stated lightly. "Very much."

"Tch."

"Do you know what that means?" Leverrier answered his own question. "You can get the information we need. He sees you as a dear friend, that much is obvious. So consider this your new mission. Get close to him and report everything you discover. Take care to watch where he goes, and make sure he doesn't know—"

"The way you're talking, it sounds like you think I've already agreed. You're wrong," Kanda spat, "I'm not a fucking _spy_. I'm an Exorcist. I'll kill all your real enemies, but I sure as hell won't stalk a little kid."

"I am sorry to hear that. You would not be doing this for _free_, mind you."

"Keep your money. I don't care."

"I was not talking about monetary payment, Mister Kanda," Leverrier said with a thin-lipped smile. "I believe I have something more valuable to you than that."

"Which would be?"

Leverrier began strolling around the room, checking the dust on the furniture and staring at the light bulbs.

"I hear you're looking for someone," he said casually. Kanda stiffened.

"What of it?"

"You know, General Tiedoll, before he died, was doing some extensive research about a strange murder case from Japan. He pulled all sorts of information about it from our databases. I thought it strange, that a General would be so thorough about a cold case he was seemingly untied to."

"Where are you going with this?" Kanda growled. "Skip the prologue."

"I'll be frank, then," Leverrier met Kanda's eyes with a cold stare. "We have information on _that person_. Do as I say and it will be yours."

- - -

Marie was worried when Kanda walked in the front door at more than a little past midnight.

"Kanda, you could call if you're going to be out so late," he chastised from the living room. "How's Allen doing, is he—"

He stopped as Kanda skulked in, hung up his coat without a single glance at Marie, and disappeared upstairs without a single word.

- - -

Kanda brushed his teeth until his gums bled. For the first time in years he felt like throwing up, but he popped some pills and sunk into his cold bed sheets, not bothering to change clothes.

He had to remind himself to let go of his breath, let it hiss out through clenched teeth. He glared at the ceiling, and then at his nightstand, but more so at the black mission folder that sat atop it.

- - -

_People always told him he was a good boy._

_He was five. Their hands were as big as his head, rested heavily on his scrubbed silky black hair._

"_Such a good boy."_

_Another hand on his shoulder, a firm squeeze that made his arm hurt._

"_Yes, he is, isn't he?"_

"_The pride of a perfect family; eyes just like his mother, don't you think?"_

"_I just hope he'll grow bigger—"_

"—_he is rather thin. Doesn't smile much."_

"_Looks like he might break his pretty little face if he does."_

"_But he's still such a good boy,"_

"_Always so obedient."_

"_Always looks up at him with such respectful eyes!"_

"_Oh yes, the child truly adores him."_

"_Isn't that the sweetest thing?"_

- - -

_One of his jobs when he was younger, back in that house, was to tend the lotuses._

_The pond was deep to him back then; he was a tiny thing, premature at birth and always a head shorter than what he should be, than what he was supposed to be, than what he wanted to be._

_The pond was deep, dark even on clear days, and rippled eerily._

_At first it was empty, just a shadowy mass of water taking up a large portion of the garden, and he wasn't sure why he was to clean it so meticulously._

_Then the first bud poked through the water. A floating pad next, and then the little bud raised its head and unfolded into a tiny white flower with pink-dipped tips._

"_A water lily?" _

"_No," that person scolded him. "A lotus, Yuu. Take care of it."_

"_Hai," he replied obediently._

_He took painstaking care of the lotus, of the lotuses when more wound themselves upward from the depths. He accepted his duty without fail, even on shady or rainy days when the pond's glassy surface scared him with the danger of slipping in._

_He took care of the lotuses, or so he thought, until that person whispered darkly that they were so dirty, so grimy, and what exactly had Yuu been doing? Such a horrible boy, disobedient and sinful._

_But he didn't know what that was supposed to mean until he was headfirst underwater kicking up dirt, and those slimy, sticky roots tried to claim him for their own._

- - -

"Kanda," Allen's voice came out a little fuzzy. "Kanda, this is Allen… just calling to see if you were okay… Marie called and told me you got home late, and I told him you had gone to the Order…" Allen paused. "Did they do anything to you, Kanda? Because—" he stopped and sighed in a rush of static. "If you want, call me back when you get this… bye, Kanda."

The answering machine cut off as Allen hung up, and Kanda knew getting up that morning was not going to be easy.

* * *

A/N: The vague and confusing memory sequences will come into light later. :) Just enjoy the creepiness for now, lol.

OH NOES, KANDA! ALLEN! D:

It almost pained me to write this chapter...

...or perhaps that was just the upcoming week of exams taking its toll on my heart.

Once again, please tell me if you find any typos or confusing or disconnecting things in the story. I haven't written something this long for quite some time, so I may need some help once in a while from you, my lovely readers.

On that note, I possibly am looking for a BETA-reader... if anyone is interested (I can't be bothered to go through the ffnet beta dating service type thing, lol). My requirements are that you are a grammar/spelling nazi and don't mind me spamming you with questions or messages... also, it would help if you had a messager of sorts so I might talk to you about plot ideas...

BUT HEY, that's nothing urgent. What is urgent however, is for you to clicky that review button, yeah? Ha-shamelessness-ha.

Reviews will be used as a pacemaker for my heart once exam week is finally upon me. :3


	19. Honestly Now

**Author's Note:** Um, wow. I cannot believe that I've updated. This story kind of - no, who am I kidding - this story really just _died_ for me. I couldn't write a bloody line of it, couldn't think about it or the characters... I've been out of the DGM fandom for a very long time now, but recently, I kept thinking about this story. And about all of your lovely, amazing, kind, inspirational reviews. Truly, you guys are one of the huge reasons why this thing is finally updated after so freaking long. I'm sorry for the wait! And I'm sorry, but I don't know when the next update will be. I'm getting ready for college now, and who knows when next my Yullen Muse will hit me...

But, thank you for your kindness. This chapter is for all of you.

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**SUGAR FREE**

19_ - honestly now_

_

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_

One of the few things Tiedoll ever demanded from them was honesty. Honesty, the old man often declaimed, was at the foundation of everything. _You'll never get a girl if you lie to her, _the general told them, wagging a finger while Marie nodded seriously and Kanda rolled his eyes.

Well, he certainly wasn't trying to get a girl – he wasn't trying 'to get' the beansprout either, mind – but every time Kanda closed his eyes he could see Tiedoll's unhappy visage, shaking his head with a look that clearly showed how disappointed he was.

Honesty didn't have the decency to be cold cut black or white. There were no definite _lines_ to it, no ultimatums of ultimate truth or ultimate lies. There was too much in between. Honesty wasn't like that, but facts were. Information.

Kanda swore and pounded his fist into the tiled wall of his shower. As if he needed another reason to hate Leverrier—the man new just what buttons to push… knew the only way to coerce Yuu Kanda into doing something that went against all his morals.

One scalding hot shower later, Kanda was back where he started: on his bed, mission folder on the table beside him. The phone was silent in its cradle, and for once, that felt strange. _(Fuck, everything did. He needed to make a decision.)_

If he thought about it long enough, and by god he had, the scales were not equal. For as much as he…liked his current life, his past had dogged his footsteps long enough. There were some things you put before anything and everything, anyone and everyone.

He had never truly apologized to anyone, but as he opened the mission folder with a wince and a dark scowl and a clenched fist, Kanda apologized to the damn naïve beansprout.

"Kanda!" Allen was breathless over the phone. He paused for a moment before asking: "Er, how are you?"

"Fine," Kanda replied, a bit more snappishly than he'd intended. "What's up with you?"

"Huh? Oh! I couldn't find the phone in all this mess," Allen laughed sheepishly. "Took me a few moments of frenzied digging…anyway, did you call for a reason?"

"No shit. Who'd call with no reason?"

"I don't know, it's a long shot but I thought perhaps you might just have wanted to talk…" Allen said in a distinctly pouting tone. When Kanda didn't reply for a long moment, he sighed and acquiesced. "Alright, alright, I know, it was a stupid idea. Yuu Kanda would never call without a good reason."

"Finally, something's gotten through that old-man head of yours," Kanda rolled his eyes. He took in a breath and frowned. "Look. The Order Ladies group or whatever is having an art exhibit of the old geezer's work. Marie and I have to go, and…Marie thought you might like to tag along." He said the last bit in a muttered rush, and began pacing the room. "Not that it matters or that I care, but—"

"I'll be there," Allen replied after a heartbeat. "Thank you for inviting me, Kanda."

"It's from _both of us_," Kanda stressed.

"Oh? I thought you said _Marie _wanted to invite me?" Allen was grinning, he could tell. "Did you, by god, _share_ this sentiment?"

"Shut up, beansprout," was the best Kanda could come up with. "Get your twelve year old ass over here Saturday at five. Don't be late or we'll leave without you." He hung up before Allen could retort, but kept staring at the phone in his hand until Marie entered the room.

"You going to call Allen?" he asked.

Kanda shook out of his trance and scowled. He all but chucked the phone back into its cradle.

"Already did," he grumbled as he brushed past Marie and headed outside for a very long training session.

Morals sucked. No amount of training, or bitching at Marie, or staring contests with his reflection fixed the twisting in his stomach and the overall disgusting feeling that had settled over him. _(Like roots, clawing at his heart—_)

No. No, no, _no_. He was strong enough to go through with this. He had to. His soul needed this.

Saturday arrived almost slowly, but the hours until Allen's arrival flew by. One minute Kanda was rationalizing all the shit the Order 'asked' of him in the mission documents, and the next he was staring down at the suspect in question; Allen Walker arrived at precisely five o-clock, dressed up with a tie and everything.

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Kanda asked, letting Allen in.

Allen blushed a pretty pink. "I thought I'd try and tame it…"

"Looks like you fucking steamrolled it," Kanda commented, and then his hand grew a brain of its own and reached up to tousle Allen's squashed hair until it was back to the familiar messy spikes. He dropped his arm immediately when Allen stared up at him with wide gray eyes, and he stared back, utterly shocked.

"Um," Allen began, but they were thankfully spared any awkwardness when Marie dashed down the stairs.

"Sorry, sorry! I couldn't find my bow-tie," he apologized with a smile. "Right then, shall we?"

"I'll drive," Kanda stated brusquely, releasing the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and all but running out to the garage.

* * *

**A/N: **Yeahhhh it's not very long, but this felt like a good place to end it and I really don't wanna force anything with this fic. Hope you enjoyed it! (Our ickle Kanda is finally showing signs of emotion, ZOMG.) Thanks for reading! :)


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